Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 November 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

(From the Fort Wayhe Hoorfer.l Bull fighters should make good . Bailors. They so often go ’round the horn. It was an honest man who wanted for an inscription on his tombstone, “ One rascal less.” Some grocers get rich simply by keeping their books by “doable entry.” They charge the same tiling twice. A physician who has abolished the credit system declares that “M. D.” after his name means “money down.” “Waiter, I want you to bring me some com," said a guest at the Robipson House, “Hey?” "said the waiter stooping over to catch the words. “No, I said corn.” “I’ll not strike thee, thou bold, bad man,” said a Quaker, “hut I w-ill let this club fall on thy ungodly head.” To this day that fellow .thinks he was actually struck. “Biddy, me darlin’t, what are you agoin’ to liavefor dinner?” “Pork,Paddy, dear.” “Ocli ! to the divil wid yer pork! What have yer done with the side meat I brought home last.night?” A dressmaker having made a cloak too small for a lady, the garment was sent back with instructions to let it out. Some time afterward the lady learned that the dressmaker had followed instructions, and “let it out” for fifty cents a week. “John,” said a farmer to his hired man, “we have so much hay this year that I. don’t know what to do. Where shall we put it ?” ' “Well,” replied the man-of-all-work, “I think we had better stack up all we can out doors and put the remainder in the barn.” [From Carl Pretzel's Weekly.] Men’s suits—handsome girls. It augurs well to see a convention of carpenters. If an ant is an insect, what sect does she belong te. Everything that gets into a church pew is not pew-er. The producer of the fleecy staple gets fleeced when he comes to the city, A jury lately brought in a verdict of acquittal through the preponderance of test o’ money. “This butter smells rather strong,” said the commission merchant as he passed a billy-goat. An astronomer has two eyes, yet he never gets more than one eye on the object he discovers. “Mamma,” said tho little hoy, “I hear lots of talk of womins’ riding goats, but I never see ’em do it.” A Centaur is a being half man and half horse. We do not know that we ever saw a Centaur, but we are quite positive that we have looked upon a being that had the appearance of a man. yet was in reality all mule. CHOLLY’S LAMENT. My Benjamin, my Benjamin, l That’s laid securely by. In my uncle Moses' keeping,— If his ticket doosn’t lie. I have mi.-sed thee since we parted In the sunny April days, But my “tile” was rather seedy, And the dust I had to raise. Then the days were long and balmy. Like a dream the summer passed, j So I soaked the gentle Benny, 1_ And the frost has come at last. Cold, wild winds from Manitoba Skip, and caper thro’ my clothes. From my cheekß drive all the color To the apex of my nose. Oft the tears will flow unbidden Thro’ the top sail on my face, When I think of thee, my Benny, And thy lovely, warm embrace. Uncle Mosc will never trust me; I’ve no money, friends, nor “tin.’’ So I think I’ll "soak” my “supe,” And redeem my Benjamin.