Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 November 1883 — The Moonshiner’s Hogs. [ARTICLE]

The Moonshiner’s Hogs.

The thoughtful provision of this moonshiner for his hogs reminds one! that the hog sometimes is himself a guide for the revenue officers. Your toper is not more fond of the product of the still than is this useful animal of its residuum of slops and refuse. Not long ago a drove of fine porkers were driven to market in a southern city. Their route led past a registered distillery, and with a celerity which rivaled that of their relatives in Bible story who “ran down a steep place into the sea,” they broke column for the succulent slops. A revenue officer standing by asked the driver, “Where did you buy them hogs?” On investigation it was found that the mountaineer in charge of their education had maintained an unregistered distillery in a tranquil spot, which would no doubt have escaped the vigilance of the "revenues,” but for the inconsiderate and ungrateful conduct of the pigs. A deputy marshal carelessly sauntered into the front yard of a citizen who was a suspect, but against whom there was no inculpatory proof. “I found a blockade still down there on a branch,” said the deputy. “What branch? I know nothing about it,” replied the honest yeomanry. “What sort of a looking place is it?” “Nothin’ perticklar,’ said the deputy, drawing a powder-begrimmed Bmith & Wesson, and wiping it on his coat-tail. “There were some mighty fine hogs there, and I shot ’em accordin’ to law. It is a pity that meat don’t belong to nobody.” “Je-rusalem!” bewailed the innocent one. “Yer hain’t shot them ‘shotes,’ hevye?” and with that he made a beeline for the still-house, of whose existence a moment before he had been supremely unconscious. It is perhaps unnecessary to say that his “shotes” were in their usual health, and were

clamorous for their ■ accustomed beverage.—Atinnla Constitution. ) •