Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1883 — The Man Who Naps. [ARTICLE]

The Man Who Naps.

I has long been settled beyond a doubt that woman is more ornamental than man. Vigor and strength in man merit and receive the same admiration elicited by grace and beauty in woman; and it is, therefore, not expected' of him that he shall study graceful postures, or seek to arrange himself in “stained-glass attitudes.” There are, however, some few positions, granted him by fortune or accident, in which he barely escapes being ornamental, and may even be classed among the picturesque without outraging the canons of art. On horseback, for instance, man may appear to excellent advantage, and attract to himself all feminine eyes until his curveting steed has proudly pranced its rider safely out of range. A blue uniform, garnished with brass buttons, also brings man. w ithin the limits of the beautiful and surrounds him with a glorifying halo until parade-day is over and he becomes again a private, commonplace, unornamental arrangement of long-tailed coat and prosaic pantaloons. Is it not singular that a being whose title to ornamental qualities hangs by such a slender thread should ever venture to trifle with a title, and make his aesthetic shortcomings even more than glaringly apparent? Such a Jove-defying wreteh is the man who S naps. Gail Hamilton long ago discovered that “men look better awake than asleep,” but the reckless sex have not profited by that discovery. Man is tfce only animal that does not look noble in repose, and language stands a crippled beggar in attempting to picture him asleep. Certainly he is without vanity, or he could not resign his members to such uncouth postures, his lower jaw to such undignified dependency, his classic nose to such horrible vocalism, and his hyacinthine locks to such perpendicular disorder. The want of grace in man, when asleep, is not confined to race, age, color or previous condition. * The man whose mind teems with the Ipfty and serene philosophy of Emerson, can snore just as loud as the veriest ignoramus, and bank Presidents have been known to toss themselves into as wild angles as anv despairing bankrupt. Wide awake, alert and active, man is entitled to liis meed of praise, and merits our unqualified indorsement; but man couchant, slumbertossed, and, altogether unlovely, is a spectacle o’er which the kjndly veil of night and darkness should ever be drawn.— Indianapolis Journal.