Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1883 — Pull the Line. [ARTICLE]

Pull the Line.

An old squatter boarded a train and sat with an air of deep concern watching the conductor and brakemen. He noticed that when the conductor pulled the rope the train stopped, and he did not understand how so much power could be attached to such a cord, but, determining not to exhibit that quality which he had so often crushed—inquisitiveness —he remained quiet. He looked out of the window at the whirling farm-houses and fences that seemed to be trying to keep up with the train, and his straw hat blew off. Springing from his seat he gave the bell-cord a vigorous pull, and the train soon came •to a standstill. The old fellow got off, and found his hat near the steps, where it had been carried along by the motion of the train. When he re-entered the coach, the conductor was furious. He pulled the bell-cord as though he would break it, and, turning to the*old fellow, demanded: “What the devil have you been doing?” ‘ “Drapped my hat an’ snatched the clothes-lines. Anything outen order? Hope I didn’t break nuthin’.” “I wish you had broken your head, and I am a mind to put you off, confound you.” , . * “You ken confound me as much as you please, mister, but I’ll be dinged if it wouldn’t take a good one to put me off.” “Why did you ring that bell?” “What made me jerk the clothesline? I told you that I dropped my hat.” “Your liat’s not worth 15 cents.”——“Not to you, mister, because it ain’t your’n. It ain’t wuth nuthin’ to you, but she’s al! I’ve got. an’ dinged if I don’t stop your contrapshun every time she flips off.” “Pull that rope again and I’ll leave you in the woods. ” “You may leave me, but dogged if I leave my hat, an’ when ever she flips, look out.” “If you don’t want to lose your hat don’t look out the window.” “The window was put here to look outen, an’ I’m goin’ to look outen it.” After awhile the train stopped on a bridge, and the old fellow looked out. A gust of wind blew his hat off and it fell in the river. ” “Thar!” he exclaimed. “Danged if she aint gone.” “What’s the matter ?” asked the conductor, who had witnessed the calamity. “Yonder she goes,” said the old fellow, pointing. “Sad loss to me.” The conductor laughed. “How did she happen to go ?” “Jes’look out thar,” said the squatter, “an’ see that fish aiuter the hat, will you.' Jes’ look at him!” The conductor looked out and the old fellow tipped his hat over into the river. “ ‘Scuse haste an’ a bad pen,” he said, with a grin. .' ' The conductor looked at him a moment and said: “What do you drink, old fellow?"“Everything stronger than water.” “Here is some very fine brandy, ” and he handed the old fellow a half-pint flask. “Take a drink as a sympathizer of misfortune. We are in the same boat, you see, and I must confess that you have beaten me. Touch it light. A little of it goes a longways.” He turned up the flask, drained the last drop, and said: “Ah, a little of it does go a long ways—goes all the way an’ holds a log rollin’ as she travels. Take the bottle an’ fill her up again at the fust opportunity.” The conductor looked at the old fellow and then the flask, but didn’t say anything.— Arkansaw Traveler.