Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 October 1883 — VICIOUS DOGS. [ARTICLE]

VICIOUS DOGS.

Bow a Distinguished Chicagoan Puts Them to Flight. A man carrying a sword-cane called ’ at the office of Uncle Phil Hoyne, and, •drawing the rapier out of its sheath, asked the Commissioner if there was anything going on. “Nothing.” said Mr. Hoyne, looking at the deadly weapon; “what do voq •carry that thing around for?” “That,” said the man, ramming the Wade hack to its place of concealment, ■“is a sure protection against unknown and dangerous dogs. Give ’em that to jpick their teeth with and you won’t stand much show for hydrophobia. ” “Are you afraid of dogs?” said Uncle Phil. “So am J. I’m not afraid of men at any hour ®f the day or nights—no, nor of women, neither —well, to tell you the truth, I am afraid of dogs. But I have a better safeguard against dogs than a dagger cane like that. I suppose you carry that around to get off' a joke about your canine protection, Oh?” “Now let me tell you,” oontinued the Commissioner of Deeds, “something about a theory of mine which I lighted upon about fifty years ago, when there was no dog ordinance hereabout, and which I have often put into practice. I did it the other night on the North Side—l forget the name of the street, but it is the same one Frank Agnew lives on. I was going along there in the evening when a savage dog flew out on me, evidently ready to rend mein pieces. 'Now, what d’ve suppose I did?” “Whipped out your pistol, I presume, and let fly at him. ” “Not a bit of it. I simply lifted my hat. Don’t laugh. The dog stopped, looked at me, growled and finally crouched back to the doorstep and began wagging his tail. I have done the same thing over and over again, with the same result. ” “How do you account for the result ?” “This is how I figure it out,” said Mr. Hoyne. “Dogs, in my Opinion, think—in a crude way. They see a man, such as me, walking along, say with a plug hat on his head, and so forth. To him I present a complete picture, just as a dog with flapping ears, swishing tail and four legs presents'One equally complete. Now, mark! The four-fobted picture cannot, so to speak, disintegrate. No dog ever saw another dog take off his tail, or lay down his ears, or throw away one of his hind legs. This human apparition suddenly begins to take himself to pieces. He lifts off his hat. The dog don’t know what is coming next, perhaps. He begins to think. He is overawed. He meets with a power which is beyond his apprehension, and he succumbs. ‘ Mind you, this is only my theory, but I have tried it on several times-, and I always found it to succeed with the brainy kind of dogs.” It was suggested that perhaps the dogs were simply overwhelmed by the extraordinary size of the Commissioner’s hat, but Mr. Hoyne stuck to his peculiar notion. He is. said to be preparing a paper on the subjeCk for the Academy of Sciences.— Chicago Journal.