Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 October 1883 — An Intelligent Servant. [ARTICLE]

An Intelligent Servant.

A gentleman in Austin has a new servant, he undertook to coach him in regard to certain creditors, who invariably hounded him the first of each month with aggravating bills. “Ndw,” said he to his servant, “if a man calls for me to-day, you tell him I am not at home.” “Yis t sor,” replied the man. Fearing a misunderstanding in some way he again said: “Now’, Pat, what will you tell the man when he calls!'* “Till him I am not at home, sor.” “No, no, blockhead, fell him that if myself, am not at home.” “All roight, sor.” “Now, what will you say to him?” “I, mysilf, am not at home.” “Pshaw! Tell him your boss is not in. Understand that, donkey? Now, what will you say ?” “Your boss is not in. Understand that, donkey?” “Fool! That’s not right. Say to him, ‘I am out.’ Can you do that?” “Yis, sor.’’ “Well, let’s hear you.” \ “I am out.” “Thunderation! Can’t you understand? Tell him your master is out. Now, what will you say?” “Your master is out.” “No, you don’t say anything of the kind, you ignoramus. Tell the man that I have left the house.” “Certainly, I’ll till him I have left the house, but he won’t believe me w’hen lie sees me in the house. ” “Pshaw! Can’t you simply say I have gone out for a walk?” “Thin he’ll think I am lying, sor.” “How so?” “Why, whin I tell him I have gone out for a walk—” “Great Potipher! You are the stupidest fool I ever knew. See here, I don’t want to see any of the people .that will call to-day, aqd I want them to understand that there’s no use of them calling, as they won’t find me at home. Can you give them an ambiguous answer in your own words?” “Is it an ambiguous answer? I should say I could, if you jist lave it to me.” “Well, what will you say?” “I’ll say, when they ax me if you are in: ‘Yis, the boss is in, but he has committed bigamy, an’ gone off on a weddin’ tour wid a widdy womans an’ if they don’t arrest him for the ambiggity, yez ’ill niver see the color av his hair agin.’ That’ll fetch ’em.”— Texas Siftings.