Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 October 1883 — Plantation Pleasantries. [ARTICLE]

Plantation Pleasantries.

De fust thing a young engineer wants to learn ’bout his trade is how to toot de whistle. Es po’ penmanship ’s any sign of genius, I has de honor ter be ’teniporaneous wif lots er ’lustrious men. I don’t b’l’eve bangs ’d stay in style so long es de gals know’d what ter do wif dere front h’ar till it grow’d out long agin. Es yer know a man dat. grter be beat ter def, jist show him a crack in. a circus tent.wliar a feller mout slip in wif out a ticket. Dere’s a limit ter poverty in dis country. No man gits too po’ ter keep a dog. Es deFree Masons has got any secret at all, considerin’ de number er men it’s been tole ter, I should pronounce it ’bout the publicest secret in de world. Men dat’s too 'telligent ter swaller “de big fish story,” is der berry philosopher ter tote raw Haters roun’ in dere pockets fer de rheumatiz an’ hang up boss shoes fer good luck. Es dere’s no hell, Colonel, some folks is wastin’ er heap er time preparin’ fer one. A druggist dat ain’t smart nough ter know what sort er bitters ter keep in stock while the anti-liqnor law is in fo’ce, ort’nt be Towed ter mix up medicines, De man dat thinks cast-iron pistols can’t hurt nobody, sutinly nebber fired ofl' many er ’em. —Texas Siftings.