Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 October 1883 — What a Good Havana Was Sacrificed To. [ARTICLE]

What a Good Havana Was Sacrificed To.

There were two of them in the car. They sat together. One of the maidens carried in her lap about five pounds of live sausage with the hair on in the shape of a sick poodle. On the front platform near the open door was a gentleman who, in violation of the company’s rules, was puffing a good cigar, the smoke of which now and then rolled around the ladies just mentioned. Said the one with the dog to the other, who was clogless: “Oh, how I hate vile tobacco smoke? I wouldn't marry a man who used tobacco in any form if he was as rich as Jav Gonld and as handsome as Oscar Wilde. I would rather die an old maid (she looked to be about 50). I can’t see how a man can use it and be received in society as respectable; but dear me the world is so strange. Mr. Conductor,” she continued, “will you please request the man to stop smoking, or close that door ? It is an outrage to permit such conduct on a car. It is very disagreebio to me and hurt’s my dog’s eyes.” The conductor did as he was requested and the gentleman, throwing away his cigar, came inside, and this is wliat he heard and what he saw. Said the girlish thing, whose lover was a dog, addressing the poodle whose eyes were red with epizoot and whose nose was in need of a plumber, “Did on dit dat uassy ole bakky smoke in ou dear itsy bitsy eyes V Let ou Missy yub him out for on,” and with this loving language she fished up a clean looking handkerchief and mopped the darling’s ocular machinery. He aclnowledged the kindness bv kissing her two or three times on her tasteless lips, then frisking around, marking her white dress with dirty feet, cuddled up in lior arms, and blinked at the gentleman across the way who had sacrificed a good Havana that a worthless dog might not be annoyed. Washingson Capitq’.