Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 September 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

A baby-carriage is called a crycycle. The fire-fly shines when on the wingSo does red hair in the biscuit.— Carl Pretzel’s Weekly. When a maiden s wears ahe’s broken hearted. Think not her vlsoeral cords are parted. For you'll find always by careful tracing. That nothing snappe I but her corset lacing. , —Carl Pretzel's Weekly. A GiBL has been arrested while diaas an old woman. The old woman disguised as a girl is still at large.. The Fall River Advance says the only time Gen. Grant eyer shed tears was when he saw David Davis trying to pare his own corns. ' “Yes,” he said, “I prefer to have black sand given me instead of pepper by my grocer. It doesn’t hurt my eyes so much whan my wife gets mad.” A Newport man is so near-sighted that he flirts with his own wife. It’s a wonder her resemblance to his mother-in-law did not put him on his guard. Billy JoNfcs, of Thompson’s'corps. Entered through the bar-room-dorps; Drank till he could drink no morps. Fell down on the bar-room florps, Fell and made bis head quite sorps, ■ Fell till he could tall no lorps, ' Says lie wil 1 do so uo morps. But will join the temperance corps. —Oil City Perrick. What is your entire name?” asked Frederick the Great of Gen. Zarembla, a Pole who was in his service. “My entire name is Ladislaus Larembla de -Zulychbentnki." . “Why, tiiw deyil himself hasn’t got a name like that,” replied Frederick. “No wonder he hasn’t got a name like mine. He don’t belong to my family.”— Texas Siftings. The Italians wish to take life as a huge joke if they can. Here is a supplication which indicates the national temperament: “I pray that I may never be married. But if I marry, I pray that I may not be deceived; but if lam deceived, I pray that I may not know of it; but if I know of it, I pray that I may be able to laugh at the whole affair.” UNSEASONABLE FRUITS. 'r-—— Applegreen, - ■■■— —• Boy same. Eating seen, Walketh lame. L Curleth lower, Pain immense, Ou the floor. Prostrate, tense. Papa cometh, Caneth boy, Mamma runneth ■ For a toy. Telephone call, Fcr Doctor Screw, Doctor cometh P. D. Q. Brisk confricatlon, Urchin hollers, Hot application, Fee, three dollars. —Life Col. Gressom was a high-toned Southerner, who held his “honor” at a premium, but he was a jpoor business manager and broke up. He had trouble with one of his creditors, and a fight was imminent. One day a gentleman met him and inquired: “Coloneh 'did you settle with that mudsill ?” “Yes, sah, I did, salt. My honah was at stake* sah.” “Ah, lam exceedingly glad to hear you fixed him and came out in such good shape. How did you settld? According to the code?” “Well, no,” replied the Colonel, dropping his pomposity on the ground, as it were, and stepping on it, “not exactly.” “How then?” “I settled with him at 10 cents on the dollar, and he was d— glad to get it.” — Merchant-Travelei'.