Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 September 1883 — Page 3

THE VELVET COAT DISEASE.

A Malady that all 'Men Have, Sooner or Later. A couple of old men were standing in front of a Milwaukee hotel, smoking 5-cent cigars, one evening when a young fellow passed along with a velvet coat on. and before he got out of sight an old fellow about 60 years old passed the same place, and he had on a velvet coat. One of the two old men knocked the ashes off his cigar and said: “It catches them all, sooner or later.” “What do you mean?” asked the other, as he borrowed his friend’s cigar to light his own. “Why, the velvet coat period," said the first old rooster, as he took his cigar back and pulled on it to keep it going. “Every man, sometime in his ‘ life, either as boy or man, sees a time when he thinks the world will cease to revolve on its axis if he does not have a velvet coat, and he is bound to have ~ ~one if he has to steal the money to buy it. It is bad enough for a boy to have the period come on, but it is infinitely worse to escape it in youth and have it attack a man in middle life. Now, you wouldn’t think to look at me that I ever had the velvet coat fever* but I had it once in its most violent form. About twenty years ago, at the time of the oil-excitement, I made a little money in oil, and I got to thinking how I could show how I was no ordinary son and all at once it struck me that a velvet coat could do it for me, and I had a surveyor measure me and a velvet coat made. I was anxious to have it done so I could put it on and go around among the boys, but when it was done and had been brought home I all at once lost my grip and could hardly get up courage to put it on. I le Lit lay - for-a- week, until my people got to making fun of me about being afraid to wear it, and finally*! put it on and wore it down town after dark. Only a few people saw it, and I went home feeling satisfied that the worst was over. Af<er 'a while I wore it to my office on days that I was going to be busy, go I knew I wouldn’t have to go around town. After the boys in the office got so they could witness my coat without going behind a partition to laugh at me, 1 concluded to wear it on the street.. Well, there was an organgrinder with a monkey, out on thesjdewalk, when I went out, and the beastly Italian had on an old v<4vet coat, like mine, only soiled. The monkey was jumping around, picking up" pennies, and all at once he saw me. I shall never forget the expression on that monkey’s face. He seemed to take me for his master, and clearly realized that his master had procured a new coat without asking the consent of his little brother. There was a look of pain as though the monkey felt hurt that such duplicity had been practiced on him, and then the monkey would look at my coat with envy. I never felt so sorrv for a monkey in all my life. I cou’d stand it to hear strangers say, as I passed by, ‘What blank fool is that,’ but to see that poor mOnkev grieve over ~ the style 1 was putting on was too much. I got out of there and went home, with shouts of the monkey’s audience sounding in my ear's, and I took oft' that coat and gave it to the man that took care of my horse, and I never see a velvet coat, either on boy or man, but I think or what a confounded fool I made of myself in my Oscar Wilde days. If you have a boy, teach him to go through the velvet coat period young, and he will thank his stars. ” — Peck’s Suu.

The World’s Telegraphs.

Morse’s telegraph was first publicly exliibite<l in 1&377 fTI ic^f;rst wire over which messages was sent, was stretched between Baltimore and Washington in 1844. On the 27th of May in that year the first message by telegraph, “What hath God wrought - ?” was transmitted from one city to the other. .Since then what an enormous growth has the business had 1 The figures are startling. During the business year 1881-82, the Western Union 'Telegraph Company alone had more than 130,000 miles of line, and almost 375,0(!0 miles of wire. It transmitted during that year elose upon 4 3'.1,000,000 messages. Including the rival companies, it is probably no exaggeration to say that ‘ theEwweie in thlsucouutry 150,000 miles of line, and 400,000 miles of wire, and that 50,000,000 messages were sent. This, however, includes the Canadian business, most of which is done by American companies. The statistics for Europe are still more stupendous. In 1881 there were, in all the countries of Europe, more than 290,000 miles of line, and 700,000 miles of wire. Over these were sent during a single year 112,000,000 messages. As might bekupposed, telegraph lines are more frequent, and the use of them more common, in Gred Britain than anywhere else. No less than 31,346,000 messages were sent over British lines in that year. The figures for the other continents are not so well known, but there are few countries in the world where the system has not a foothold At a rough estimate it may. be said that there are probably 550,000 miles of line in the . world, and 1,300,000 miles of telegraph wire, over which 175,000,000 messages are sent annually. These figures do not include any telephone lines. ? Nor do they include the submarine cables, more than 50,060 —miles’ ofwliivli are in operation. These cables connect all the continents. Shanghai, Melbourne, Havana. Bio de Janeiro, Cairo, New York, London and Paris, can each communicate with either of the otlifijs in a single day. We are, in fact, in almost instant communication with all the rest of the world, and the antipodes, once reached only after long and perilous voyages, •can now, as it were, hear the echo of what lias Happened the same day oh the otiter side of the globe. The telegraph wires in daily use would stretch around the globe at the equator nearly twenty-five times. And this vast system is extending at prodigious rate every day. A comparison of the original Morse telegraph with the most improved "System of to-day showS a wonderful ad-, vance. For “ one thing, a way has been found by which four separate messages

can be sent over the same wire at the same time. This seems quite as jincredible as the telegraph itself would have seemed to the men of the 1830. , By another invention a message to be sent may be copied in a peculiar way by .one operator, and then, by being put in | machine, can be sent over the wires at a speed as great as that of ordinary conversations. No limit can be set, either to the extensions of telegraph lines ot to the improvements which may yet be made. In a certain sense every intelligent operator is an electrician, who is daily learning somethihg about the agent electricity and the implements he uses. New inventions are frequent, and many of them prove highly useful. Who can say how common, how easy and how cheap,telegraphing may be to our grandchildren?-— Youth’s Companion. ..

The Perils of Chloral.

Itia impossible to say too much against the use of chloral, which is as fatal and more terrible in its ultimate results than opium. The pangs of the opium-eater have been set forth with appalling vividness in the prose of De Quincey, but physicians assure us that the results of chloral are more agonizing and deadlier still. One of the most eminent English surgeons has called it “crystallized hell.” It poisons the mind as well as the* body;- and- so softly, so gently, so gradually does it enchain the victim who resorts to it, that he only realizes its power when it is too late to break the bonds which bind him. Some facts concerning its action were stated to a reporter of the New York Tribune by a distinguished physician, rec-, ntly. —’ —— - —" Chloral is resorted to for an ordinary attack of sleeplessness, and perhaps small doses are taken for a few days, -the result being sound, refreshing sleep, with none of the evil results common to our narcotics. When the period of sleeplessness, is past, all gees well for a time. Sooner or later, however, sleeplessness returns, chloral is again resorted to, kept up for a longer time and taken in larger doses. It is again abandoned, only to resume its sway, and thus the habit is formed ttjat renders sleep impossible without chloral, which, 1i k e all narcotics, must be increased in quantity as the system becomes habituated to its poisonous effects. The largest class of victims of the chloral habit are men who lead sedentary lives, and those who from temperament and the nature of their work are peculiarly liable to suffer from sleeplessness. One of the most notable examples of the baneful effects of the chloral habit was ’ tlie as tist poet, I)ante C> al 1 Bosse! t', who, during the hitter years of his life was accustomed to take enormous doses, reaching a total of nearly 180 grains daily. For many years he took chloral regularly, at first in small quantities,,, but he gradually increased the-dose until his power of resistance was gone. His life*was darkened by a power lie fought against in vain. His latter days were 1 spent in solitude. He became a recluse I and a hypochondriac, filled with groundless fearS for himself, cherishing unfounded suspicions against his best friends and admirers. Unlike opium, there are, as a rule, i no unpleasant effects, no reaction following the use of chloral. It simple produces perfect sleep, or the best possible imitation of dreamless rest, with no headache or sickness as a reminder that the slumber has been purchased and. the debt must be paid for. The debt is paid later, and th** interest demanded is health, hope, and often life.— Youth’s Companion.

A Long Cat.

Young Pretzel attend d a Chicago theater and becanie quite interested in the performance rendered by the Orchestra during the interval between the acts. He plied the old man with questions concerning the drummer, the violini t and others belonging to the band. The Leader had occasion to play a Solo, and the boy watched the movements of the bow with breathless attention as it crossed and recrcssed the When the Violinist had finished his effort, the boy again commenced to question the old-man. “Papu,”jsaid tlie boy, “do you know what those strings are made out of that the man draws that bow over.” “Yes, my son, they are manufactured from ‘cat-gut,’” said the old man, with nin emphasis on the latter word, intending to strike the boy dumb, thereby silencing lum during the balance of the performance. It had the desired ef--feet; tlie —boy was —struck —speechless with wonder and astonishment, and for more than an hour kept perfectly quiet. At last Ibis eyes lit on the fellow with a dog-house in tbe corner, which in the more remote ages was called a Bass Viol. The boy gazt d upon it with admiration. He endeavored to speak but his tongue clove to tlie roof of his mouth; his eyes fairly sparkled as they" traveled up and down the mammoth strings of the instfument. At last his tongue became loosened, and he fairly yelled: “Papa! Oh, what a long cat that was!”— Carl Pretzel’s Weekly.

Lack of Courtesy.

“Did the man seem to exhibit a lack of courtesy ?” inquired an Austin business man of a book-agent who had failed to negotiate with a neighboring tradesman. “Oh, I don’t know but what he has got courtesy enough, and presume Be keeps plenty of it in stock. He threw a chair at me the minute I entered his office; and just as I successfully dodged the cliair, he caught me on the nose with a tin cuspidor, and that was followed by a paper-weight, two tackhammers, and a loose door-knob. He . seemed to be shooting all the furniture out of a ’ Gatling gun, though he may have been throwing them, and it is my impression he was loaded for bookagents. But he didn’t seem to lack anything, and pre nine if I hadn’t withdrawn just as .1 did the: next thing would hare been a shower of canned courtesy. ” — Texas Siftings.

AMERICAN MEN AND WOMEN.

Mr. Labouchere's Answer to a Snarling English Critic. [From the Lcndon Trnt'.i.l Americans are essentially cosmopolitan, and they adapt themselves far more easily to new surroundings than we English. They are, moreover, more free from prejudices. Of course, among 50,000,000 human beings there are some who are objectionable, but Americans on neutral ground, such as Paris, Switerland, etc., are, as a rule, a very great deal more appreciated than we are, and this not because they are richer, but because they are more pleasant. We; rather than they, are, I am inclined to think, open to the reproach of being unendurable. Among ourselves we get on very well, but with foreigners we are not so popular. Few Americins remain long enough in England to go into society’. Those, however, who do are generally well received, and their manners contrast with considerable advantage with those of a very large number of Englishmen. . ~ I It is rare that an American man is not a good talker. He may have devoted more time to heaping up dollars than to the cultivation of art, science or literature, but he has gained much curious experience in Lis avocation which he, is ready to impart, while on general matters there is a freshness, shrewdness and mental activity, often ..allied with considerable humor, which make his remarks worthy of attention. Although the accumulation of dollars may have been his particular mission, there is nothing mean or paltry in bis mode of thought; he is a stanch friend and a pleasant acquaintance. Whether he lias won his fortune honestly or dishonestly, he knows how to spend it nobly. In this islan dos ours, w here conventionalities are law and gospel, it is a relief to meet with anyone who does not bow down before them, and who has some sort of individuality. To term this individuality vulgarity'is to show ignorance of the meaning of the word, or rather to accept the meaning attached to it by those who are themselves innately vulgar. American women are, in nine cases out of ten, infinitely more agreeable as companions than English women. They are better instructed, they talk better, they dress better and they flirt better. They are neither dolts nor tom-boys d ressed in petticoats, nor bread-and-butter misses. There is, indeed, nothing missish ’r mascuIme about them. There are, however, demoralized and deteriorated Americans who seem to imagine that they will curry favor with us by renouncing all that is good in their own country and accepting all that is silly in ours. Yes, I like Americans, and I believe that in taste, feeling and manners we have much to learn from them.

The Dentist.

We never enter a dentist’s studio without feeling uneasy. Not that we have any tgeth which we cannot easily remove without his aid, but still we are awe-struck in his qiresence. It appears that our teeth have gone into commit-., tee of the whole and move by platoons; so we are not afraid of a sudden and unexpected attack on any stragglers, still we remember what a time we once had with the old, back-number teeth, and wince in sympathetic memory. The rooms of these artists in bicuspids and molars are no places for quiet and cosy little chats on the follies of the day or the lighter and more frivolous topics of society. The conscience of a dentist must be something like that of a champion butcher, who kills and strings up his victim, ready-dressed for the market, in three minutes by a stop-watch, Chicago time. A thoroughly-good dentist should be a man with nerves like chilled steel and heart like live-oak. Some of the dentists with whom we are on speaking terms are. oily fellows, with hands as soft as a dude’s cranium, and a seductive voice likea that of a drug clerk. He will meet you at the door wrapped in a winning smile and a spotted dress-ing-gown, and talk to you as soothingly as could a speculator in mining stocks, and he will inveigle you into the highbacked inquisitorial chair, and lie to vou aboiit the pain, and root around your sore and throbbing gums with his thumb-nail, and al 1 tlie. time smiling like an px-eyed violet. The next thing you know trouble will commence. He will slip on a pair of highly-polished forceps; there will be an uncontrollable desire on your part to open wude your mouth and howl. A short, decisive jerk, your poor head will fall back on the chair, and your mouth will be full of freshly-distilled blood; your eyes will be brimming with tears, and a miscellaneous variety of cuss words will be struggling for utterance in your larrryx. But it is tlie old-fashioned dentist,the country doctor of the cross-roads, who used te grin like a cannibal whenever he saw a victim approach his office—he is the one who used to fill the apple of our youthfuDeye. He was a terror. He, who has never been put through the agonizing evolutions of a tooth-pulling drill in the back room of his office, does not know what fun is. He has missed several great oppcrt inities. This rural tooth-carpenter used to perpetrate his fiendish work in one time and two motions. If tie parient could not keep his head steady the dentist would lay his head on the floor and hold it down with his knee. And if the man got alive to his family, who had parted from him with sorrowful apprehensions, the meruliers would meet him with congratulations, and fried chicken and-bis-cuits,’that he was unable to eat. This ancient gladiatorial dentist was as remorseless in his operations as a lynching mob. He had no Sympathy at all for a patient. To him a toothache was a a sardonic joke. And, when he threw* a man on to the floor, put'his knee on his chest and the turnkeys on the wrong tooth and straightened himself, it did seem as though the last end of that man had come, and waA a great deal worse than the first—Texas Siftings.

Rock Excavating.

The fastest rock excavating ever done was at Factoryville, Pa., in the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western railroad tunnel, which is 2,200 feet

long and 16x20 in diameter. The herding was driven through 7x16 feet, working two faces, in five months and ten flays. The contractors claim that this beats any previous work by 200 feet. The greatest distance driven in one month was 502 feet.—New York Sun

How a Dog Yawns.

When a dog gapes he doesn’t screw his face into ad sorts of unnatural shapes in an endeavor to keep his mouth shut with his jaws open. Neither does he put his paw up to his face in an apologetic way, while gaping in ambush, as it were. No, sir; when he gapes, he is perfectly willing that the whole world shall come to the show. He braces himself first on his fore feet, stretches out his neck, depresses his head; and his jaws open with graceful moderation. At first it is but an exaggerated grin; but* when the gopa is apparently accomplished, the dog turns out his elbows, opens his jaws another 45 degrees, swallows an imaginary bone by a sudden and convulsive movement, curls up his tongue like the petal of a tiger lily, and shuts his jaws together with a snap. Then he assumes a grave and eon ten tedvisage.as is eminently becoming to one who has performeda duty successfully and conscientiously

The Next Question.

In Scotland they have narrow, open ditches, which they call sheep-drains. A man was riding a donkey one day acro s a sheep-pasture, but when the animal came to the sheep-drain he -would not go over it. So the man rode him back to a short distance, turned him around and applied the whip, thinking, of course, that the donkey, when going at the top of his speed, would jump the drain before he knew it. But not so. When the donkey got to the drain he stopped all of U sudden, and the man went over Mr. Neddy’s head. No sooner had he touched the ground than he got up, and, looking his beast straight in-the face, said, “Verra weel pitched; but then boo are ye going to get ower yersel ?”

The Latest Bonanza in California.

Bleber, Cal.—Mr. Thomas P. Ford, editor of the Mountain Tribune, of this place, publishes that the great pain-cure, St. Jacobs Oil, has worked wonders iu his family, and that he would not be without it. He-stites that among all the people St. Jaintroduced;

He Didn’t Want to Go to Either Place.

Old Capt. B , of Boothbay, one of the most experienced pilots on the Maine coast, and who has been around the world many times, recently lay upon what was called his deathbed. A minister who called thought he would read a chapter to him, so he called for a Bible. A black book, very much resembling a Bible, was handed the visi tor, who opened it and found it was a copy of the “Coast Pilot.” Upon learning that it was not the pilot the minister wanted, the sick njan exclaimed: “Iliat book will take* you all around this world, and jf it ain’t good to pilot you to heaven or ■ I don’t want to go to either place.” The clergyman retired, and the Captain still sails on the briny.— Boston Globe.

Where Did He Stop.

History relates that zEspp, the poet, once paid s4oi>,ooo for a single supper, but the name of the American summerresort hotel at which he was stopping is not' given. It may be that Mr. JEsop, after an enforced fast of a few months, succeeded in selling a spring poem, and resolved to expend the entire sum he received therefor on one good square meal. — Norristown Her- _ old. - ~ - - ~ The largest log of black walnut which has ever been seen in this country has been brought to New York. It came from the village of Peregeoux in the Pyrenees, and is nine feet in diameter, twenty—even feet in circumference, and weighs 22,000 pounds. It is valued at $2,000.■ THE birth rate in England is 33 per 1,000, and the death rate 20 per 1,000. At this rate the natural growth of the population would be nearly half a million a year, but the real incre'ase is much less, owing toemigration and occasional epidemics.

Personal !—To Men Only!

The Voltaic Belt Co.. Marshall. Mich., will send Dr. Dye's Celebrated ElectroVoltaic Belts add Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who ore afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of health and manly vigor. Address as above. N. B.— No risk is'incurred, as thirty days' trial is allowed. When Fogg was aske 1 regarding the latest additicn to the Eng i-h language, he said he would ask h e wire. She always had the last word. . ' —< The dude is now delined as a wor’ on “the need of common sense," bound in calf. It might be calf bound in need of common sense Either is good enough.

“Put Up” at the Gault House.

The btudnesi man or tourist will find firs -class accommodations at the low price of $ and 0 per day at the Gau.t House, < hicago, corner Cdnton and Mad son ttreets. T.iis far-famed hotel is located in the center pt the citv, Only one block from the Union "Depot Elevator; ail anpoinrnents firstclasa H. W. Hoyt, Proprietor. The Phenix must have been recovering from the measles when she rose from her rashe.°. Fob DYHPEPstA, indigestion, depression of spirits and general debility in their various forms; also as a preventive against fever and ague, and other intermittent fevers, the ‘Ferro-Phosphorated Elixir of Calisaya." made by Caswell. Hazard & Co. , New York, and sola f»y all druggists, is the best tonic; and for patients recovering from feveir or other sickness it has no euual M ■ Boston girls never giggle. They ’merely 1 express their deiight by a dreamy, far-away, north-pole smile Inrj>m.r. County, N. G.—The ex Sheriff. Mr. W. F. Wasson, says: “Brown’s iron Bitters has improved my digest.on and general health.” Fashionable ladies ,ike to get a ‘new wrinkle,”but they don’t want to show it on th i< r. he.-u 1 . ' Keyser, W. Va—Dr. W. D. Ewin says: “Many esteem B.own's Bitters as an excellent tonic.” - - '—’ T ‘ ~ t . It may be remarked, for the comfort of honest poverty, that avarice reigns most in those who have but few gobtL, qualities to recommend them. This is a weed that will grow only in barren soil.—Hughes. ~y-

After Meals. Torture.

• Such Is the lot of the dyspeptic. Prevention, where indigestion has nit Assumed the chronic plisse, an-l.s thorough enro where It has, is possible of attainment by those who resort to fiest* tier's Stom nc 11 Hit'crs.a remedy ot e?tabli?li <1 r p'itation* botanic origin anil rare Wrlty. H wrtburn, flatulence, pain tn th? abdomen after eating, and a sinking sensation in that' region -bci.w-.cn meals, uro datlielv obviated by tliis tine corrective. Nausea, bilious symptoms aiid constipation arc also entirely removed by it. Igick ot ylenr. Io?.? oi lle?rrand want of appetite are usually IroirWes which coiViliiitc to the di?couit<ir' of snlTcr'ers Iriiin iirligestton; but fdr these, as well a? other * uwoiwitants of itlic maladv, Ho-tetter'? Stomach Bitters is a recognized »p<iirie! While it icgu'ate?, it str.mg lien? the ».v?teiii Fever and ague, rhennititi.?:n nd hervous uilnr nls are eDC.-t.ua ly iclievell bv it. and it Is an incumpma tie svstaininrcoulia] to. infirm pcrselis of advanced years or weak constitution. It was the fellow who stepped on a tack who tint remarked “the iron has entered my idle.” . 1 , ' . An cnricher of the blopd atld purifier of the rv?t. tn; cures ■ lassitude and lack of energy. Such fas Brown's iron Bitters. It is raid that a true Bostonian' is one who, when he is in Rome, does as the Boitoniana da Blood-Foisonhig—An Alarming Discovery. Half the pto le are suTer'ng and many die from this fatal complaint. Diseases of the kidneys and liver are the prin ina* causes. As a cure, we can re coin men 1 German Hop Bittern —Journal of Ifeallh. '. / ' "Rough on Rats"—Clears out rats, mice, flies, roaches, bed-bugs, ants, vermin, chipmunks. Ito.

Look Weil to the Name.

The only genuine German Hop Bitters have the word ••German’’ blown in the bottle “Buchu-Patba.” —Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, sl. Murder will out, so will the fact that Carboline. a deodorized extract ot petroleum, the natural hair renewer and restorer, is the best preparation ever invented and excels all other hair dressings, as thousands ot genuine certificates <now in our jiosscssioo abundantly prove— Skinny Men—"Wefis’Health Renewer" restores health and vjgor.cures dyspepsia,impotence. 11. One pair of boots saved every vear by using Lyon’s Patent Metallic Heel Stiffeners. Wells'“Rough on Corns."—lsc. Ask for it. Comblete.permanentcv.re. Corns,warts,bunions.

StfatsofeOil

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Wliat Dyspepsia Does. It causes grievous pains by day and frightful dreams by night. It destroys the pleasure of a r ■ ■■■■.- t sours the disposition and makes its victim cross and petulant, t makes the breath bad, the eyes leaden, and the skin sallow.. t makes the appetite capricious and unreasonable. \ t causes constant grumbling and complaining. What “Brown’s Iron Bitters” Does. It invigorates the weakened stomach, and enables it to digest. It promotes the enjoyment 6f a hearty meal. It enriches the blood, improves the liver, and cheers-the mmd. It purifies the bieath, clears the eyesight, and makes the skin natural. It brings a regular and healthy desire for food at proper tames. Your Druggist sells Brown’s Iron Bitters. 1 ■ ■ """"ft * ' mm «t »

THE GREAT GERMAN REMEDY FOR PAIN. Relieves and cures RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, BACKACHE, HEAD ACHE, TOOTBACHJ; SORE THROAT, QUINftY. SWELLINGS, APRAIM. @ Sorenest. Cuts. Bruises, FROSTBITES, nCRNI, HCALDS, and pains. FIFTY CEMTS A BOTTLE. Sold by all DriigglKtß anil Dealers. Directions iu 11 languages. The Charles A. Vogeler Co. u. A. voorin * co.) VslUum. SA., C. K A.

A policemaits dvtt. PoHreman Ed. K. HkaT«, » Xyrth Portland, Me*.. May It. t3SJ, writM: ■I bare been troubled for a good mmy years with, inflimmetlon of tlie bladder, dating aa far beck aa« during the time I was In thearmjr. ,1 suffered with, dull. Heavy palua in the back and kldueys. too Intensefor me to describe, and tried several remedies ttear. were rerommeniled. and was eaamnml i»r ”»e of tmr best physicians, wtio prono>iner<l it Itidahiuiaiion ot the biad lor: aim! I went tolh« La*kftal •' , r trvatmeat, but all nicdirfne an.l treatmsr.t b».> •<*»r>.».t to lah. I was re<«miurti>le.l Io try liner's R-ms.iv. as it Ikk* been used ii>aev»r» <u*beisesneie u> I’urflamt an« vicinity. J pur. ha-nl a l»*ttle ar «<i*.*tb » drug storehere, and found Aitsr using iB« 6r>T wntFTW.il it relieved mo greatly, and slier -natr.a several hotflee found thatil.li.l me more erod U.vn sll Mher luedkcines ami treatiuru; I luve rere>»»4 remL.n* *l. An*l to a*l*l to ihy pood opu.iou **r lias* s Heutedy 1 l>eg li» sfate.in closing. tb»t ru» wife ti»s lor s long tin etroubled with u weatns-s an t nitjaiuiiiati-'-n of the bUiMer. W-tti a com 11 .-ationof .dfasr pNWtffKr to wi men. After lining only two i-'it'-« sb? h..s ix-en-completely cured; atid I ron ear that my wHed in praise cd this -v.HHierhii iH?*do.’.iH*, aiut t wenkt loglily rcconi m< >id it to ail who are suffcni.g froiatkidney diseases or diseasesof the blakler." NO MATERIAL change. This Is to certify that I liaveused Hunt’s Eornedy for the kidney complaint, aud derived much benefit from its use. ■ 1 -- I liavo Ijeen afflicted about one year and ro-nivedt treatment from tbe loi a' plij'sicinns, ami used * ntrrisbcr of ro-i-alied sp -. iiics without any tftaiei ial hetkt I am happy to say, Ztter using three bottles of Ilnnt'e Remedy, I was completely cured. I never fail to recommend it, and yon are at liberty to use my name iu any manner you may desire. Jons W. Johxston Noewicu, i.'oNx., M»r«. 1383. '...1-., A Dangerous Case. • * » Rochester. June 1, 1882. "Ten Years azo I was a.tackcil with the most Intense and deathly pains in my back and —Kidneys, “Extending to the end of my toes and to* my brain! “Which made me delirious! :' "From agony. “It took three men to hold me on my bedt at times! “The Doctors tried in vain to relieve mo. But to no purpose. “Morphine nnd other opiates “H:td no effect! “After two months I was given up to diet "When, my wife __L. heard a neighbor tell what Hop Bitten had done for her, she at once got and give mo some- The first dose eased my hr tin and. seemed to go hunting through my system, for the pain. • "The second dose cased me so much that I slept two hours, something I had not donefor two months. Before I had used five bottles I was well and at workrira hard as any man could, for over thrte weeks; but I worked too hard for my strength, and, taking a hard cold, I was taken with the most acute and painful rheumatism all through my system - that was ever known. I called the doctors again, and after several weeks they left n ‘®' a cripple on crutches for life, as they said. I met a friend and told him my ease, and he said Hop Bitters had cured him and would cure me. ■ I poohed at him, but h» was so earnest I was induced to use them again. In less than four weeks I threw away my crutches and went to work lightly,, und kept on using the bitters forffve wosks, - until I became as well as any man living, and have been so for six years since. It also cured my wife, who had been so for years; and has kept her and my children well nnd hearty with from two to thro* bottles per year. There is no need to b* sick at all if these bitters are used. J. J. Berk, Ex-Supervisor. “That poor invalid wife! “Sister! “Mother! “Or Daughter! “Can be made the picture of health I “With a few bottles of Hop Bitters! “ TTt'H you let them suffer ?” AGENTS in WANTEff Takes like "wildtire. Any one can work if. Stau<lai4 Jonr-ial free. Addrewi STANDARD LIFE AHScXXA'JION. Fi>rt Wayne. lud., or Grand Rapids, MB 000,000 acres ao ontbelinoof tbo Jw 2a WISCOHII CEHB4L R. B. CHARLES L COLBY, Land MILWAUKEE,WTS. iixj tt*| OO A YEAR I ftfPJLa a? sexi bkst STORY PAPER IN THE WEST. SLOO&SAYear - • ittatw plaint ' ■ ■ Year .00 A Year zing Drawer for SI.OO A SI.OO *’*’ A Year SI.OO T |g lm A Year SI.OO cggA3»cx. |A Year Subscribe at Once. TW cravMor k * mluu wv ngdw aw* tk) Oil«rs, k w«U kam to <ba PuM. «mh w AaarfW Fn.ili a HeU-kawa tee. Ikat tor May y«ar. k. kniiak.il itaakkfia l>a4y Kid maUMBI ot ■■rf.l aM CVraate Aa. aHW M* young men Hkeu J fcrwww. ny.ail lilWi, Y.»a.n..lt Tlunty. C~Tad.a W l*as to toUc bu| Fuayto. aa to. Vato, law to Fairly i—toar, I afficaaaarere to tirtort »iOO «w mry aw. toa. lai Hl k AOklorWv,aaairtMnweacndly<eak4rem. CkSaraMHto »«. LCCAk B. WLUJAMA, 1H a, dark TWaitoa MC 8. RF.L Na. 3J-M» Jn n-rltln-r to A.lvertlxer*. nlwtaertoiNag taM - f>> meulioii thia Aaln-rUaer. iUM S* know vvhkt iixxtium? pay tbeui butt.