Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 September 1883 — Shall We Lose Our Toes? [ARTICLE]

Shall We Lose Our Toes?

There is one very unpleasant prospect along the theatrical’ line of evolution. It is a generally accepted opinion that what, nature does not need she gets rid of ns rapidly as she is permitted by the ebndition of affairs. It id upon this proposition that the advocates of evolution base their arguments. A learned geologist assures us that the hoof of the horse some few cycles ago was ornamented, or rather obstructed with toes, even while Mr. t)arwin insisted while breath or pen served him that man had not so very long been without a caudal appendage. Acceptihg this view we may feel a sort of unobtrusive gratitude than an opportunity was provided for getting rid of superfluous tails. But there can hardly be as much pleasure in the anticipation of a time when man will kick off his toes and imitate the example of the horses or—the similitude perhaps being greater—the opinionated mule in the condensation bf his pedal extremities; This, however, is the theory advanced by our newest evolutionists. They urge that the civilized toe has forgotten its ancient cunning; and is no longer of practical use to its possessor. Shoes have done the business. The average toe is a twisted, gnarled and knotted excrescence. They are not obedient to muscular direction; they are without skill or dexterity. The fashionable shoe is reducing the toe to a minimum, crowding the five into a dimension of leather hardly roomy enough for one. The human foot bids fair to pass from its present shape into the likeness of the middle toe of an ostrich, and may eventually become a veritable ho’of. It might be better so. There would be less of it to step on and no purchase for corns. There would be an advantage in this to the kickee, since it is a recognized philosophical fact that it is -the toe of a shoe creates the moral disturbance rather than the force of the pedal projection. - Moreover, the hoof would afford a practical aid to the system of domestic‘economy, as small boys might be shod with iron. The more it is considered the less unpleasant the exodus of the toe becomes. Fashion may in this respect be a benefactor after all.— Chicago Inter Ocean.