Rensselaer Republican, Volume 16, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 September 1883 — Page 7

The Republican. RENSSELAER, INDIANA. G. E. MARSHALL - PuBUSHBB.

George Augustus Sala advises every one "who doesn’t want to have the cholera to keep his temper. Badtempered folks are always the first to go. A Jersey City physician is reported to have successfully tried a new cftre for hydrophobia. It is a kind of woorara, used for a long time by the natives of Demarara for the cure of snake bites. It has several ingredients, but its composition is as yet a secret. Here is a pointer for the lawyers: The Missouri Supreme Court lays down the conditions which must concur to protect the title of a purchase! 1 upon a sale made by the vendor with a fraudulent intent. He must buy wit'hout notice of the bad intent on the part of the vendor; he must be a purchaser for a valuable consideration, and he must have paid the money before he had notice of the fraud. A curious test of the relative value of beer and water as beverages is about to be made in England. Farmer Thomas has bet $250 that he can do more and better work in the harvest field, supported by his favorite ale, than can his neighbor Richards, whose drink is oatmeal and water. The contest is exciting much interest in England, many Londoners are to be present, and the Temperance Alliance has engaged an artist to picture the scene. “Uncle Ned” Roach, of Florence, N. Y., took unto himself a sixth bride. “Uncle Ned’s” hair has been thoroughly •whitened by the suns of 85 summers, and his head is bending low by the weight of those years. Yet he feels the want of a congenial spirit to continue on in the march of time, and has married Aunt Mary Quinn, of Rochester, who lias lived long enough to count off 70 years on the calendar of time. They were married at , St. Mary’s Church, in Florence, by the pastor. _• ( - Kirkland Fitch, who broke the bank at Warren, Ohio, has made the statement that he felt there was a sure fortune in Government bonds. He shared this wise belief with Vanderbilt, Rothschild, and other investors. Not having their capital, however, he took $60,000 of his employers’ money and bought the edge, or margin, of $500,000 in bonds. An unhappy fluctuation of the market trimmed this margin neatly off in one day, and left him well along in the career of a defaulter, which he then pursued until the lank went under. Mr. Fitch is now in jail. In Alabama convicts are employed in the coal-mines, and the report of the State Health Officer shows that during six months the death-rate among them has, in one of the mines, reached 87 per 1,000, all negroes, and in another 150 per 1,000 for five months, which is equivalent to 360 per 1,000 per annum? “That is to say,” the officer, remarks, “if the same death-rate was kept up they wonk! all die in less than three years.” The quarters are imperfectly ventilated and much over-crowded, the clothing and bedding are extremely filthy, the means for ablution are inadequate, and the cooking asrangehients deficient. The value of property destroyed by fire in the United States and Canadas every year is nearly*equal to the sum paid every year for foreign sugar. In 1882 the destruction by fire wass9o,llo,964, and the amount paid by the people of the United States only for foreign sugar was $94,523,797.29. In 1881 the destruction by fire in the United States and Canadas was $89,518; 300, and the amount paid by the United States only for foreign sugar was $89,811,785.25. In eight years we have burned up $672,226,999 worth of property in the United States and Canadas, and have-sent out of the country’ a rather larger amount in purchase of sugar. The semi-annual statements of the. savings banks of the State of New York have just been made public. The total number of open accounts in the State is 1,119,512, of which New York city furnishes 593.170, or a little more-than one-half. The total amount due to depositors in the whole State is reported at $420,831,007, of which the New York banks report $231,525,352. This would make an •average amount of $376 to each account in the State, and a somewhat larger one, $390, to each account in the city. There is also reported a “surplus” of $62,114,693 in the State, and $36,310,142 in the city. The surplus in the State now amounts to $57 on each account, and in the city s6l, or from 15 to 16 per cent. An upright Indianian, on returning home from a visit to the home of his fathers and mothers—m Kentucky, says he saw 117 snakes about the size of a lead pencil playing on a smooth bit of sand bar at the mouth of a run that

empties fato Brownell’s creek near his farm. They were gamboling on the sand after the fashion of lambs or kittens. Sometimes they would wrap themselves into a half as large as Lis two fists and would go rolling arpund until it would tumble into the water, then the little wigglers would unwrap themselves and scamper out onto the land again. Three of them were killed by being squeezed to death in the balls, and finally they got to fighting, whereupon their mother, who was lying on a log watching their sport, came down and stopped the row. When he went near where she was to get a better look at the young racers, the mother opened her mouth and they all rushed down her throat and she chased him “home. , The shrinkage in the price of railroad stocks diiring the last year has been enormous, as the appended table of the shares of twenty leading companies will show, the figures, for convenience, being in round numbers: Am't Stock. Shrinkage. N. X. Central & H.. .. $89,000,000 $21,360,(0) - Lake Shore 50,010,000 8,000,0K1 Michigan Central 18,000,000 3,960,000 Canada Southern.... 15,000,000 3,4 >O,OOO Western Union.... 80,000,000 13,600,000 Erie, 85,000. OOp 12,670,000 Northwestern 48,000,0(0 15,720,000 St. Paul 47,000,000 13,000,000 Union Pacific 60,000,000 20 v ooMea Central Pacific. 59,000,000 M. K. <t T.. iiRR.... 46,0(0,000 >1,660,00 Texas Pacific 32,000.000 9,600,900 W., St. L. <tP 50,0 )0,000 16,910,01X1 Jersev Centra1........ 18,000,000 2,880,000 Del.. Lack. ~<fc W.. 26,000,000 7,800,000 Missouri Pacific... 30,000,000 5,700,000 Northern Pacific...' 90,000,000 15,880,000 Oregon 40,000,000 15,600,000 ■ Louisville & Nash 25,000,000 13;750;000 Denver & Rio G... .... ... 33,000,000 14,850;000 Here is an apparent shrinkage of $244,470,000, which has fallen to the lot of the holders of stocks, whose market value was $961,000,000 a year a ?o- _ - A correspondent of the Plymouth (England) Morning News, telegraphing from Madeira, reports a lamentable occurrence on the Mayumba river, not far from Ponta Negro, by which two officers of her Majesty’s, gunboat Stork and a civilian lost their lives. The Stork, which is commanded by Lieutenant and Commander Arthur Blennerhasset, and which arrived on the west coast of Africa a few months since, had been ordered out to St. Paul de Luanda, and on her way thither she called in at the ; place mentioned. The officers met ; with a cordial reception from Mr. ; Prenslau, factory agent, under whose I auspices a sporting trip in the Mayumba seems to have been arranged. It appears that Mr. Prenslau, Lieut. Blennerhasset, Lieut. Henry Leeke and Mr. Robert Anderson, surgeon of the Stork, were together in a boat when they were attacked by a hippopatamus. The animal, probably wounded, and ; thus infuriated, made a ferocious and : determined onslaught on the boat, and all the efforts of the occupants to beat it off were unavailing. The struggle was a fierce one, and the end the boat was swamped and capsized, and all the occupants were thrown struggling into the water. With great difficulty Lieut. Blennerhasset was saved, but Lieut. Leeke, Dr. Anderson, and Mr. Prenslau were all three drowned.

A Confusing Run on the Rail.

“Was I ever in San Francisco?” said Dooflicker, in response to Theophilus’ question. “Was I? Well, Eve been there more times than you’ve got hairs on your head.” “Well, say, paw, did you ever count the trains you met on the road between Omaha and San Francisco ?” “Of course I have, Theophilus; I used to run an engine between Omaha and ’Frisco. “Then maybe you can help me out on this lesson.” Theophilus laid aside his slate and said his teacher had given him this problem to solve: Suppose there is one train each way every day—one train leaves Omaha each noon and one leaves San FranciscP each noon. It takes five days to make the trip. How many trains does each train meet?” “Pshaw, Theophilus, I’m ashamed of you. You. ought to solve so simple a problem in a twinkling. If I had never run a train on that road I would know how many trains any one of them would meet. Of course, if it took five days to go from Omaha to San Francisco, and there was only one train a day leaving San Francisco for Omaha, it stands to reason that the westward-bound train would meet five trains comiiig east. ” then, paw, I can’t figure it that way. I make it ten. ” “You can’t? Well, you’re a stupid dolt, Theophilus. If it wasn’t as plain as the nose of your face, I could prove it by my own experience. J?ow, it used to take just five days and one hour to, make the run from Omaha to San Francisco, and there was one train a day each way. When I was half on hour out of Omaha I used to meet Bill Sheffield’s train. Then the next day I met Bob Santley’s, the next, J ack Moseley’s, the next, Jiifi Baker’s, and the next, just before I got to ’Frisco, Dan Hackney’s. That’s every train I met —just five, you see.” “But, paw, just as you left Omaha, you met the train that left San Francisco five days before, didn’t you?” “Yes, of course.” “Well, when you had gone half tl.»e distance, hadn't you met the fixe trains that left San Francisco before you left Omaha? What became of the other five that left San Francisco while you were on the road ?” Dooflicker thought he heard the tele-phone-bell ring and went in to see what was wanted.— Chicago Herald. To BE poor, and to seem poor, is a certain method never to rise. *'

NASBY.

Mr. Nasby Has a Dream in ’Which the ' Troubles that Attend a Reorganization of the’ Democracy Appear Most Vividly. ~~ [From the Toledo Blade.] Eonfederit X Roads | (wich is in the State uv Kentucky), > Sept. 1,188!. ) Others besides the profits, and them in Holy Writ, heV dreems; and, es dreems wuz profetik in the daze uv old, why not know? Troo, they wuz inspired, and ther dreems wuz inflooenced from the hed, while mine come mostly from the stumick, wich is fittin. Ther ain’t no espeshl head in the avrige Dimocrat to inflooeuee, while all uv em hev stumick. A angel hoverin around wuz the coz uv in the profettik days uv yore, while mine is sooperindoost mostly by cold pork or bolonysassige. That’s the difference atween the dreem uv a-profit and the dreem uv a Dimekrat I dreemed last nite. I bed bin partakin uv a free lunch wich Bascom sot in, honor uv his 25th anniversary, and, ez Deekin Pogram hed jist sold a mule for cash, he wuz libral iu settin uv em up, and the result wuz I rolled under the table and slept all nite, Bascom crooelly lockin up the bir so that.ef I shood awake I cooden’t do him any damage by takin drinks and forgettin to mark em dowu. Foolish man! Ez tho I wooden’t mark ’em down! Ez I never eggspest to pay. anyhow, why shooden’t I mark ’em down? But I slept and I dreemed. I dreemed that we lied looked ever the hull feeld and desided that'by keerful and akoot management we cood elect a Dimekratic President in 1884. Somehow the management uv the entire biznis hed sort o’ drifted into my hands, and I wuz marshellin the forces and makin the disposishen of everything connected with the campaue. « “Now look-a-here,” I remarked to (’em, “ther seems to be a prejoodis agin the old-style Dimocr.sy. A record sich ez- we hev is a mity bad thing for a party wich is goin’ to site a battlexm the single ishoo uv Reform, and with the one single war-cry, ‘The rascals must go!’ In such a site them wich hez bin objeckshunable to the people at large must keep in thejbackground till after the site is won. Ez the ishoos is to be new, we' want the corpses to remain berried until jist after the battle, mother, when they' may res urect and come in for the spoils ez fast ez they hev a mind to. Only they must lay low till after the ides uv November, 1884.” That wuz agreed to ez beiu mity good . sense, and I perseded to arrange the line uv battle. 1 shoved tee old Dimoerisy into the background, all them with butternut clothm, and put in the front the noo recroots wich we hed won from the Republican party, and sicii cleen shirted Democrats ez bed come up sence, the War, and wich hedn’t ez yet entirely gradooated in our skool; and a very handsome line I made uv it. The next question wuz, Who shood we hev fur standardbarer ? I was castin about, lookin fur some Goliath uv Gath without a damagin record, and one with wind and limb euuff fur our purpose—some young man—too young to hev bm obnoxious doorin the late bnpleasantnis, and who hed bin out uv the kentry ever sence. I coodent find exactly the man, but finally decided on hevin Hancock to the front, notwithstandin his defeet four years ago. A bloo uniform takes well at the North, and the South, jedgin the man by his company, have no objeckshun to it They are shoor of a man which trams with Us, no matter wat color the yooniform he wears. And I grouped about him Ben Butler, who actilly did hang a man wunst, and Hoadly, uv Ohio, and a hundred or more very new Democrats, ez many more Republikins which lied gone off with Greeley and stayed, and others wich, becomin disgusted with the corrupshuns of Grant, who wooden’t give em places, hed sought the companionship of Tweed and Tilden. It wuz a very pretty show I made with em, and our front looked as innocent and gileless as noo milk. But misforchoou alluz follows Dimoerisy. Jist ez I hed em all arranged ole Sammy Tilden •cums rollin and staggerin to the front with his war record, his Tweed biznis, and_hih_ljterary buro, and all the rest uv it hangm to him—so loadid down, in fact, that he coodent waddle, much less run; ami he snatched the banner out uv my hand and, with a smile that wuz sweetnis itself, remarkt:

,“tJv course I must kerry this!” “ The blazes yon will! ” sed I. “Yo u?” “Certinly—*l must be vindicated. Es we don’t vindicate me, wat is 'the yoose uv a Dimer kratic victory? Es Dimekrats wich hev borne the hept and burden uv the day ain’t put to the front, why Dimocrisy ?” He passed down the line till he staggered to the center and bumped up agin Hancock, wich stool on a slippery place (all in our ranks stand on slippery places), wich knocked Hancock ors his pins‘ and he went on with his ozashun: “A Dimekratic victry without me to the fore wooden’t be a Dimekratic victry at all. It is doo me. I wuz defrauded out uv the Presidency. I bought the Presidency, and pade for it a good milyun uv dollars uv hard cash. But I didn’t git it. It is my turn now. I must be vindicated.* “Avant!” I shreeked. “We ain’t in the vindicatin biZnis. We don’t want vindicashens -we want postoffises. Wat do we keer for vindicashen® ? Git out* ” But it wuz uv no avail. With strength for wich I didn’t give him credit, he clutched the banner and held it, loaded ez he wuz. . .Ind immejitly ther wuz a movement from behind that wuz simply appalin. John Kelly, wich I hed liid in the rear P&nk, plunged to the front; all the old Copperheds and Secesh uv the old times cnm rushin up in plane site—-till remarkin that, es they wuzn’t to be r,n-, dicatid, why a site at all? and ajl,,uv ear clamuß that the ehetf tmduv the Dimtr crisy wuz to vindicate them. This one grabbed a ipostoflis, wich, he sed, wuz necessary to his vindieaabeu, another a-custom-house, another anominashen to

the Governorship uv his State; and so on all around. .It wuz ez perfeck a pandemonium ez ever I Bee. And, to make the matter wuz, the rush wuzn't confined to the livjjn. The ghosts uv ded DimikratS hovered over ’em, smiling, saying that, while they cooden t vote or be voted for, ther memories must be vindicated, and without sich vindieashefi ther wuz no Joose for a Dimpciisy at all. The gost uv Boss Tweed sailed in; and that uv Jesse D. Brite uv Injeany, wich ought to hev bin forgotten 15 yeers ago, wuz prominent; and in breef, es ther wuz a map livin espeshly obnoxious to the peopel, or the gost uv a man whose metnry wuz pertiklerly vmsavory, they wuz ail ther and very conspicuous. The efleck wuz suthin elcctrikle. TJie dissatisfied Republikins wicn hed drifted into our ranks becoz uv our civil-servis biznis and .differences ..on. the money question and the tariff and sich causes helchther noses a minit and then began a„stampede. “Ther ain’t no yoose,” sed they in korus. '* It’s the same cussid old party after all. Dimoerisy never learns nnytlmig and never forgets anything. ” They scurried away ez tho they believed Asiatic cholera hed struck the assemblage, and the quicker they got out the better for em, and the other class uv patriotic Repu.blikens "wiMi hed jined us moved off slowly, swa’rih that, onless they hed the controle uv the offises, they did I't see any reason for ther stayin in sich company—that they’d bedam es theywiiz goin to rooin therselves pullin chestnuts out uv the fire for other men. And they went, leavin us just the same old material, with no mofe chance uv wjnnin than (’apt. Webb bed uv swim min the rapids at Niagar a. Jist then I awoke. The sun wuz shinin thro the winders uv Bascom’s, and the aired gal the fiore, preparatory to the day’s biznis. I sot a moment and thawt. Ded men have long fingers. Long after they are under ground they reach and reach, with a more wicked grip than they hed in life. Vallandighain ded yet speaketh, and Boss Tweed’s memory is yet potent for evil to us. So long ez we llev to bear his substance. We can’t get rid uv Boss Tweed or Vallandigham till we hev showed that we hev abandoned the ideesuv Boss Tweed and Vallandigham. We hev inherited a record wich we hevn’t purged .ourselves, uv, becoz, no matter ez to our men, the moHsiesuond methods are precisely the same. Yoo may paint over the spots uv a lepnrd and cut off the tale uv a fox—-but the one will chaw up antelopes, and the other steel chickens. Dimderisy is Dimoerisy, no matter how it is disgised. Wuz this dreem profetic? I think so. lam sore and sad. If wat I dreem comes to pass, and it Jocks as tho it wood, that Nigger Lubbock—on whose hed cusses—w.ll hold my postoffis four yeers longer, and by that time I shel be postoffises are not, and wher it makes no difference to me who is President. Well, be it so. I am fastened onto Bascom and the Deekin for the present, and that is good enufi for one whose whole life hez bin a struggle for a very little bread and a great deal uv likker. ; Petroleum V. Nasby (Despondent.)

Political Notes.

P. H. Winston, heretofore one of the leaders of the Democracy of North Carolina, has formally announced his conversion to Republican doctrines. When he delivered the valedictory at the University of North Carolina, in the presence of William 11. Seward, the latter took off his watch and presented it to the young orator. Never was there a party more at a loss to know what to do than the Democratic party is at present. They are in favor of free trade, and they want a tariff “for revenue only.” They want civil-service reform, and they don t want it. They want the saloons taxed, and they want free whisky. In short, they are like a swarm of bees flying around hunting a place to settle. Keep the rascals out. — Bedford (Ind.,) Journal. ’ - The country is not going to believe that the Democratic party has ceased to desire a partisan civil service, or a debaunched currency, or fraudulent elections, merely because of profession# and promises, or the nomination of a ell-meaning candidate, so long as its change of purpose is not «shown by a complete re volution in toe Congressional action of the party. If we are to believe thatthe leopard has changed his' snots, there must be some proof that, he no longer eats people when he has a chance.— New York Tribune. If there are any reasons for turning Republicans out, except to let Demo-, crats in, we would r thauk some of ths able advocates to mention them. Would they do as well as they did when they had the power feelore? Would even that be encouraging ? The ; nation has made greater advance in | real prosperity under the twenty-three* I y. ars of rule of the Republican party,’] notwithstanding the enormous burdens' from the War of the Rebellion, than it did under a whole half century previous. Financially, commercially, socially, and in all that enters into the make-up of national prosperity, the United States to-day is an object for the whole world to admire.— lnter Ocean.

, The St. Louis GlrY.e-lJemor-rat, looking the country over, observes that the Democracy has what it aptly calls j “a political Donnybrook” on its hands, and diagnoses the situation as follows : “A bird’s eye view of the whole Democratic field supplies the following revelations: Irreconcilable rows in in New York and Ohio, the New York Sun and what it represents saying that it is madness to" agitate toe tariff question, and toe Co trier-Jeruriial crowd crying that it is madness to lea-, e it alone, a similar antagonism—though less talked about—on the currency, an advocacy 6? famperance laws in Missouri arid opposition to them in Ohio, and the only txrad of ,union an.vwhere to be /observed a tossjxe to gain possession of toe . offices. -Is it st all strange that an agitation pf these dfaeordant — dementi produces— rows, especially when individual s rlfisune is is the inspiration Z Is it jics-dblc tba! an organization of this"hnt tar win in a.general political epnt-. ”

THE BAD BOY.

“Well, I swow, here cirtnes a walking hospital,” said the grocery man as the bad boy's shadow came in the store, followed by the boy who looked sick and yellow, and tired, and l>e Lad Idst half his flesh. “What’s (he matter with you? Haven’t got the s yellow fever, nave you?” find the grocery man placed a chair where the invalid could fall into it. , j J - “No. Got the ager,” said the boy, ns he wiped the jJfirspiration off his upper |ip, and looked around the store to see if there was anything in sight that would take the taste of quinine out of his mouth. “Had too much dreamy life of ease on the farm, amj. been shaking ever since. Darn a farm, anyway.” “What,-you haven’t been to work for the deacbn' r liny fai^jlshave you? 1 thought you sent in your resignation,” and the grocery man offered the btiy some limburger cheese to Strengthen hiip “Oh, take that cheese away,” said the boy, as he turned pale and gagged. “You don’t know what a sick person needs any more than a professional nurse. What I want is to be petted. You see I went out to the farm y ith my chum, and I took the fish-poles and remained in the woods while he drove the horse to the deacon’s, and he gave the deacon my resignation, and the deacon wouldn’t accept it. He said he would hold my resignation until after harvest, and then att on it. He said hb could put me in jail for breach, of promise if I quit work and left him without giving proper notice, and my chum came and told me, and so I concluded to go to work rather than have any trouble, and the deacofi said my chum could work a few days for his board if he wanted to.„ It was pretty dare poor board for a boy to work for, but my chum wanted to be with me, so he stayed. Pa, and ma came out to the farm to stay a "day or two to help. 1-a was going to help harvest, and ma was going to help the deacon's wife, but pa wanted to carry the jug to the field, and lay under a tree while the rest of us worked, and ma just talked the arm off the deacon’s wife. The deacon and pa laid in the shade and see my chum and me work, and ma and the deacon’s wife gossiped so they forgot to get dinner, and my chum and me organized a strike, but we were beaten by monopoly. Pa took me by the neck and thrashed out a shock of wheat with my heels, and the deacon took my chum and sat down on him, and we begged and they gave us our old situations back. Blit we got even with them that night. I tell you, when a boy tries to be good, and quit playing jokes»on people, and then lias everybody down on him, and has his pa hire him out on a farm to work for a deacon that hasn’t got any soul except when he is in church,, and a boy has to get up in the night to get breakfast and go to work, and has to work until late at night, and they kick because lie wants to put butter on his pancakes, and feed him skim milk and rusty fat’ pork, it makes him tough, and he would play a joke on his aged grandmother. After my chum and me had got all the chores done that night, we sat out on a fence back of the house in the orchard, eating green apples in the moonlight and trying to think of a plan of revenge. Just then I saw a skunk back of the house, right by the outsidi- cellar door, and I told my chum that it would serve them right to drive the skunk down cellar and shut the door, but my ebum said that would be too mean. I asked him if it would be any meaner than for the deacon to snatch us bald-headed because we couldn’t mow hay away fast enough for two meji to pitch it, and he said it wouldn’t; and so we got on each side of the skunk and sort of scared it down cellar, and then we crept up softly and closed the cellar doors. Then we went into the house and I whispered to ma and asked her if she didn’t think the deacon had some cider, and ma she began to hint that she hadn’t had a good drink of cider since last winter, and the wife said us boys could take a pitcher and go down cellar and draw some. That was too much. I didn’t want any cider any way, so I told them that I belonged to a temperance society, and I should break my pledge if I dr awed cider, and she said J was a good boy, and for me never to touch a drop of cider. Then she told my chum where the eider barrel was, down <-ellar, but he ain’t no slouch. He said he was afraid to go down cellar in the dark, and so pa said he and the deacon would go down and draw the cider, and the deaf con’s wife asked.ma to go down too and look at the fruit and berries she had canned for winter, and they all went down cellar. Pa carried an old tin- lantern with holes in it to light the : deacon to the cider barrel, and the dea- | con’s wife had a taller candle to show i ma the canned fruit. I tried to get ma ] not to go, ’cause ma is a friend of mine, ;

HALL’S BUSINESS COLLEGE, Cor Market and Pearl St. Logansport Ind. Fall Term Conimenres Sep.lo. Night School Oct. 1 Sehoiarehipß can be paid for. if deeired. in monthly or weekly payments. Student* nbould be ready »o commence, if p<e*ibt». at the bepneine of the term. Your.g ladiee can here prepcre ttexseivewfor T~Huti»ne 6f profit a moderWecoet. h Hall’s Book-Keeping and Business Manual, E-nh-acir e .ingle and double <• tT. Wy E. A. rial!, principal of Hall's Buaiuees Uotleije. Arranged *Ol Graded Bch<x>l». Bneinexs I'ollegM. Private Schools and Bnainee* Meu. This book in cot siauUy ,->>.;«iviuw ti>e hiskert commeedatioae from all Mfaftjenttntcy. Ronudiu elwth, start pes’-paid on receipt o$ prica. ’ "1 bare carefully examined ' Bairs Busineee Mauual,” It U the best work ao 'oookkecpiirg and cevera! business instructions that Ihave ever sees, Tthnwl I clear, and the Condensed law points govern inc billsof exchange and pr.xaueury But«s are correct.” JkiBACcP. Bidolk. Judgeof ludianr-

and I didrft went her to have anything to do with the circus, but she said she guessed she knew her When anylxxly says they gness they know : their o#n birsfaeHM, that settles it with ' me. and I don’t trjr to argue with them. Well, my-chnm and me sat there in the i kitchen, and I striffed a piece of red ' table-cloth in my month to keep from I laitgiringj and my chum held his nose . with "his finger and thumb so be wouldn’t snort rfglit out. We could • hear the cider run in the pitcher, and then it stopjied and the deacon drank I out of the pitcher, and then pa did, and then they drawed some morecidßr, and ma and tire deacon's wife were talking' alsmt how ranch sugar it took to can fruit, and the deacon told pa to help himself out of a crock of fried cakes, and 1 heard the cover the crock rattle, and jast then I heard the old tin lantern' rattle on the brick floor of the cellar, the deacon said, 'Merciful goodness,’ pa said, ‘Helen damnanation, I am stabbed,’ and ma yelled, ' goodness..sake.i alive,’ and then there was n lot of dish-pans on the stairs begun to fall and they all tried to get up cellar at once, and they fell over each other, and oh, my, what a frowzy smell cafiae up to toe kitchen from the cellar. It was enough to kill anylxxly. Pa was the first to get to the head of the stairs, and he stuck his head iu the kitchen, and took a long breath and said, ‘uhoosh! Hennery, your pa is a niighty sick man.’ The deacon came up next, and he had run his head into a hanging shelf and broke a glass jar of huckleberries, and they were all over him, and he said, ‘Give me air. Earth’s but a desert drear.’ Then ma and the deacon’s wife came up on a gallop, and they looked tired. Pa began to peel off his coat and vest and said he was going out to bury them, and raa said he could bury her, too, and I asked the deacon if he didn’t notice a faint odor of sewer-gag coming from the eel lar, xnd any said it smelled more to him as though something had crawled in the cellar and died. Well, you never saw a sicker crowd, and I felt sorry for ma and the deacon, ’cause their false teeth fell out, and I knew ma couldn’t gossip and the deacon couldn’t talk sassy without teeth. But you’d a dide to see pa. He was mad, and thought the deacon had put up the job on him, and he was going to knock the deacon out in two rounds, when ma said there was no use of getting mad about a dispensation of Providence, and pa said one more such dispensation of Providence would just kill him on the spot. They finally got the house aired, and my chum and me slept on the hay in the barn, after we had opened the outside cellar door so the animal could get out, and the next morning I had the fever and ague, and pa and ma brought me home, and I have been firihg quinine down mv neck ever since. Pa says it is malaria, but it is getting up before daylight in the morning and prowling around a farin doing chores before it is time to do chores, and I don’t want any more farm. I thought at Sunday-school last Sunday, when the Superintendent talked about the odor of sanctity that pervaded the house on that beautiful'morning, and looked at the deacon, that the deacon thought the Superintendent was referring to him and pa, but may be it was an accident. Well, I must go home and shoot another charge of quinine into me,” and the boy went put as if he was on his last legs, though he acted as if he was hing to have a little fun while he did last.— PetcJds Sun. ’

The Size of Alaska.

Although Sitka and Alaska are almost synonymous with north pole to average minds in the temperate zone, a comparison of maps showirthat Sitka and St. Petersburg, Unsafe, are in the same latitude, and the mouth of Chilcat river, the most northerly point that we visited, is on a line with the south coast of Greenland. The extent of this northwest territory and the vast distances between points are more than bewildering. Alaska itself is equal in area to all of the United States east of the Mississippi river. ’ Counting the Aleutian chain, the Pirbyloff group, and the 1,100 islands of the Alexander archipelago, the total area of the Alaska island is 31,265 square miles. The island of Attn, the last of the Aleutian chain, is as far west of San Francisco as Bangor, Maine, is east of it, and the indented coast-line of Alaska, than the whole coast line of the Atlantic and Pacific shores of the United States put together.— Cor. St. Louin Globellenibirat. ' -. The income of the London missionary societies of all denominations amounts to some $7,000,000 The Bible and tract societies add over $2,000,000 more to this grand total. It is claimed as one of the advantages possessed by Florida that it is south of the tornado belt.