Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 September 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

[Morrison Herald.] They have discovered a greater curiosity than the sea serpent at Newp-r-. It is “the married man who pays atte > tion to his own wife!” It is very stsange. Bat perhaps he has to. Ah Altoona man claims to bare sre’i a veritable hoop snake near that plac It is strongly suspected that *lbe devoted considerable time to mspecting the contents of the barrel before h_> saw the “hoop.” A Western paper says: “Sam Weldon was shot last night in the rotunda by Henry Parsons.” About the worst place a man can be shot, next to the heart, is in the rotunda. It invariable proves fatal. Ah exchange speaks of a Sheriff “holding an elephant for debt.” He must be a very strong Sheriff—and a brave one, too. It is not' easy to hold an elephant—if the animal takes a notion to move on. But if the beast has contracted a debt, it should be held until it discharges the obligation. A news item says that the brain of a circus employe, found dying near Middletown, “weighed fifty-six ounces, the same size as that of the first Napoleon and of Daniel Webster.” Of course he was the man who wrote the circus advertisements. It requires a genius with a Webesterian brain to perform finch a task. The King of Italy says if he wasn’t a King he would be a newspaper reporter. Kings, after all, are only human, like the rest of us. They are , ambitious, and want to get into this most exalted and honorable positions in the world—albeit the salary of a King, we’ve been told, is a few hundred dollars more than thpt of a newspaper reporter. fCarl Pretzel’s Weekly.] The weathercock is a vane thing. A waiteb resembles a race-horse when he runs for steaks. The only poverty that is observable about the - great pleasure resorts is a poverty of brains. When a young man gets his mustache to do just as he Wants it, it may be termed broke-down. Blessed are the dining-room girls, according ■to the Bible, for verily they are the piece-makers. Full many an hour of sad reflection is spent in regretting the number of schooners that have gone down amid the storms that sweep across the bar. “Two prints with bnt a single thought, two tramps that beat as one,” said a compositor, as he and his partner marched valiantly up to the bar. Woman never had her rights. When a woman stands in front of a mirror for ten minutes she is called vain, but a man can stand there tjalf a day when shaving himself, and the rest of the family imagines that he is telling the truth when he is cussing at the razor. “A feA t moments sometimes make a man change,” yells the Boston Post. “A man with blue eyes was seen going into a beer saloon yesterday, and when he came out he had black eyes." We have often heard of a man having black and blue at the same time. [Chicago Cheek.] A depressing feature—a broken nose. Whisky has a “rising tendency* when a man drinks too much. Under the title of “Thoughts on the Sea,” a poet has unburdened himself. One’s thoughts on the sea are often of a very retched characier. “A person loses one pound during a night’s sleep,” says an exchange. This must be applicable to Americans. The English papers chronicle accounts of persons losing hundreds of pouifds during a night’s sleep. Tickle away, you fly; pestiferous carnivorous, you tantalizing fly. The frost and the winter’s coining and yon’ll soon lie down and die. Jump in the glucose, drink the milk, contaminate the tea. Yoa«ll soon leave tMs festive earth, a fly angel to be. King Omom, once husband of 706 African damsels, is dead. If tbe grief of each widow equaled the display mpde by American women at the funerals of their husbands, the mourners must have followed the king to his last restplace in boats.