Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1883 — MARRIAGE. [ARTICLE]

MARRIAGE.

Some Ctneerootioe AAeioe »'em the ftwi dent of Ike Z4me Kiln Club. (From the Detroit Free Frees.] “I understand,” began the President, as the meeting opened in due form, “dat quite a number of de members of dis club am gwine to be mar’ied doorin’ de summer. Dat’s all right, an’ I wish ’em much joy, an’ shall be glad to witness de obsequies of each an’ ebery one. But I want to say a few words in gineral. In de fust place am you gwine to mar*y fur love or fur a sort o’ bizness partnership ? If you answer fur love, let me warn you to be sartin dat you doan’ mistake de sentiment. Many a young man who thought his heart torn by love has plunged into matrimony to diskiver dat he simply had an admiration fur a S3O set of false teeth an* a high instep. If you answer, fur a sort o’ bizness partnership, let me warn you not to expect too much. You won’t love de woman an’ she won’t trust you. It will be a sort o’ boss trade, in which both parties will be cheated an’ both continer to be mad about it. You kin’ git along arter a fashion, an’ people who see her on your arm at a circus won’t know how you fight at home. “If you mus’ marry, let common sense have a show in de transackshun. Doan’ go off yer feet becase you meet a gal who kin sing like a robin, smile like a rose, an’ jump off a street kyar widout boderin’ de driver to stop. A wife will have much to do besides singin’ an’ cultivatin’ dimples. If you am gwine to marry, ax yerselves how fur $lO per week will go when divided up fur clothes, an’ pervishuns, an’ house rent, an’ fewel, an’ incidentals. Befo’ you fall in love wid a gal who looks too sweet fur anythin’ in a plush sacque, kinder figure on how many sich duds your income would afford her. Befo am all broke up ober a gal who plays de pianner, talks French, paints landscapes an’ reads poetry, jist sit down an’ figger who am to cook yer meat an’ taters, patch yer ,cloze, darn yer socks an’ help ye make sl2 buy sls worth of things. Befo’ ye let a pa’r o’ flashing eyes an’ a cunnin’ dimple captivate ye, look aroun’ a little an’ see if de owner has got a temper like a wildcat. Marriage am a lottery simply becase people take each odder unsight an’ unseen. Let us now prognosticate to bizness.”