Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

Thb mule is apt to be behind in his business. The dunning letter is occasionally a most pay-thetic appeal. Some men are known' by the company they—can’t get into. Neveb look a gift-horse in the mouth, especially if it be the Golt revolver. Qub fellow-citizen who lost sis nap will now be found in a thread bare coat. Thebe are 7,060 fish known to men of science. The man of science must be a blamed sight luckier than the average fisherman. O wad some power the giftie gie us To see ounels as Ithers see us; It wad frae mony frae u?. And make us want to go off somewhere and hire a man to hit us in the neck with a sand-bag.— Cincinnati Merchant and Traveler.

Angelina to Paul, on their way home from the theater: You may go just as far as the gate, dear Paul, Only as far as the gate; For the bull dog will bite, and papa will show fight, So I’ll bld you good-night at the gate. Paul acquiesces of course, having a wholesome tear of hydrophobia and a club.— Carl'PretzeVs Weekly. “ What is that lying on your desk?” asked Gas Da Smith of a young society business man, *at whose office he happened to be. “Those are my receipted bills that I have just paid.” “Receipted bills! You don’t say so?” exclaimed Gus, with animation; “let me look at them, please. I’ve not seen anything of the kind in the last five years.”— Texas Siftings. An esthetic Austin lady went out into the country for her health. The country people were not that way at all; so when she went into ecstasies over the beautiful grass and flowers, they • did not seem to reciprocate. She was very much astonished at their apathy. “Does nobody out here take any interest in the beautiful gems of the prairies?” “Oh, yes, the sheep eat them,” was the response.— Texas Siftings. A little bootblack picked up a very short cigar stump, and holding it up, remarked to his companion: “You can see by that cigar stump that the members of the Legislature have done left Albany and gone home.” “What do you mean ?” “I mean that you can tell they have Ifeft because the cigar stumps have got shorter. When tnem Legislators was here them stumps was twice as long.* They didn’t have to pay nuffin for cigars, so they throweid ’em away half-smoked.”— Albany Evening Journal.

“Why did you strike this man?” asked a Justice of the Peace of a prisoner. “I had sufficient cause, your honor. He come to my house on a visit. He criticised my children and laughed at my daughter’s singing, turned up his nose at a fish I had caught, and put my wife to a great deal of trouble at dinnertime, and —” “But all this gave you no excuse to strike him with a stick of stove-wood.” “I know, but let me get through. After dinner he took a kind of all-day seat, and began to talk on the tariff question. Then I hit him ” “Tariff, eh? I fine you $lO for not shooting him.”— Arlcwnsaw Traveler.