Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1883 — An Example of Boston Thrift. [ARTICLE]

An Example of Boston Thrift.

Prominent church members and business men appear as bar-keepers in the new directory of Rome, Ga. The compiler has fled into the mountains. The Rev. Henry Crawford Tucker served as a Baptist clergyman in Georgia for forty-seven years without a salary. He had three wives and thirtyone children; bnt no one heard of him until he died a short time since. An item going the rounds of the press effectually settles the trade-dollar question. It is to the effect that a Polish girl stole twenty-five trade dollars and hid them in her mouth. Bring on yeur trade, dollars and feed the Poles with them. The following obituary notice appears in a Kansas City paper: “ 'Ninetoed Annie,’ a personage well known in the upper circles of Hell’s Half Acre society, fell into the Missouri river last evening, and was drowned. She was a daughter of the late-lamented ‘Scarfaced Maggie’ and a cousin to ‘Oneeared Sam’ and ‘Ginger-cake’ Joe.’” An extraordinary tragedy enacted in the streets of Tiflis. A certain Melih Sarkisspff quarreled with and shot his brother with a revolver, discharging the contents of every barrel into his’ victim. A commissary of police, curiously bearing the same name as the fratricide, attracted to the scene decapi:tated the assassin by a single blow. The bar of a Fall River rumseller was actually closed in unlawful heurs, but the suspicious officers observed that he had numerous visitors in his residence. The. house was searched several tim4s without finding the whisky which, it was clear, the company was getting; but at length, on turning on a gas burner, the beverage ran from the pipe, which had been connected with a arrel in the groggery cellar.

Gov. Butler has a tanned human skin which he says he will bury when he is done with it, and will not return it to the shoemaker, who wants to make a pair of shoes out of it for a museum in Rome. The»New York Ufonlvrtg Journal says: “Bold' Ben is right. But before consigning it to earth he shouTQ have it cut into strips of about sixteen indies long, and with them “lash the rascals naked through the world” who committed the enormities on the poor at Tewksbury.” It is now reported that the cholera, which is making havoc in Egypt, is but one of the many disastrous results of the latp war there. The few rules to provide for cleanliness were suspended, or at least rendered inoperative, by British occupancy, and filth has had full sway, inviting disease and feeding it-well with wretched human beings. The reports censure the British authorities, who, it is said, had ample warning of the coming pestilence. Washington Territory is looming up in its rapidly increasing commerce. It will send abroad this year 335,000,000 feet of lumber, 200,000 tons of coal, 200,000 pounds of hops, 200,000 cases of salmon, 5,000,000 bushels of wheat, 3,000,000 bushels of oats, 100,000 bushels of potatoes, and 2,500,000 pounds of wool. In cargoes of 1,500 tons, this quantity of produce will load' 900 large ships, or three every day in the year except Sundays.

Mb. Justice Moule sentenced a ratal prisoner in England in the following words: “Prisoner at the bar, your counsel thinks you innocent, the counsel for the prosecution thinks you innocent, I think you innocent. Ent a jury of your own countrymen, in the exercise of such common sense as they possess, which does not seem to me to be much, have found you ‘guilty,’ and it remains that I should pass on you the sentence of the law. That is, that you be kept in prison one day, and, as that day was yesterday, you may go about your business.” Attobhey General BbEwsteb is reported to be occupied in perfecting a change in the uniforms worn by the Justices of the Supreme Court The New York World says his esthetic taste has. been shocked by the absence of ruffles upon the sombre, baggy silk gowns they now wear. He thinks the dignity ot their appearance would be greatly enhanced by a double row of broad brass buttons down the front,

with the addition of an Elizabethan ruff around the throat and embroidered chevrons upon the sleeves, indicating the number of years they have served. ’“I think the millenium must be approaching,” remarked a Harlem man to a deacon. “What makes you think so?” asked the goed old man. “Because when the contribution-box reached your pew yesterday, you dropped in a $5 gold piece instead of your usual donation of a nickle.” “Gr§at Scott!" exclaimed the deacon, turning pale, “Why, I thought I put in only a new 2cent piece that I found on the street the other day I” and the worldly invectives the pions old fraud heaped upon his own head would have made a hardened sinner shudder. Ah old Massachusetts settler was Ruggles, a lawyer and practical joker; and his jokes showed that some of the modern ones are pretty old. For instance, 140 years ago an old woman came into the Court House as a witness, and not seeing a seat at hand was directed by Ruggles to take the Chief Justice’s seat, and she did. Soon the court, in all pomp and circumstance, entered with the officers, who announced “The court!” The Chief Justice, with indignation, inquired of the old lady, “Why she was there?” She pointed to Ruggles and said, “That man told me to take this seat.” The Chief Justice ordered her to leave, and, turning to Ruggles, said: “Mr. Ruggles, why did you give this woman my seat?” Ruggles replied, “I thought it a good place for old women!”

A pearl fishery of great value was some time back reported in the Gulf of Mexico. During the winter fishermen prospectors found some pearls of great value among not a few amaller gems. The first was taken from.the shell of a pearl oyster in December last, 1882. It is believed to be the largest on record. It weighs seventy-five karats. A jeweler offered $14,000, which was accepted. That sum is far below the real value. Another of forty-seven karats is since found, perfect in form and finely tinted. It is valued on the spot at $5,000. A third pearl of forty karats, yet more beautiful, was exhibited at La Paz, where $3,000 was bid. This success of the first exploration is justly regarded as evidence of extensive deposits of pearl-bearing oysters, and great excitement pervades all the fishermen in that gulf. Judicial proceedings in some parts of Michigan seems to be conducted on a soft of go-as-you-please basis. A St. Clair county Justice, on a recent occasion, after hearing a long and tiresome case, addressed the twelve victims sh the jury-box as follows: “Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the counsel on both sides are unintelligible, the witnesses on both sides are incredible, and the plaintiff and defendant are both such bad characters that to me it is indifferent which way you give your vlrdict.” In another recent case a Justice’s jury at Sturgis, having held an inquest upon the body of Shroil Grdpn, who was stabbed to death in a quarrel by Henry Niles, returned an elaborate and unique verdict, declaring, among other things, that “the said Henry Niles, then and there, feloniously, willfully, and of his malice aforethought, killed and murdered the said Shroil Green.”

A New York jeweler, a native of a Maine village, was one day stopped in the street by a tired and panting individual, whom he soon recognized as a former schoolmate. He unbuttoned first his coat, then his vest, etc., till he finally reached his undershirt, from between two buttons of which he pulled put about an inch of gold chain. “I bought this,” he said, holding the precious bit between thumb and forefinger, “some time ago, an’ have had my ctoubts—though ’twas warranted—till I thought o’ you as the one man I could depend on when I came to New York. Now tell me is that pure gold ?” After his doubts had been allayed and he turned to depart, he swung around once again with the query: “I say, I’ slept night afore last in the Marlboro’, in Boston, *n’ forgot my nightcap there, *n* took a terrible cold cornin’ on. Now, do you suppose they’ll save that fur me till I git back?” “No, sir I” shouted his bored listener, “Boston’s Bpthrifty a town that, before you get there, they’ll have converted it into a pudding-bag to cook Maine blueberries!”— Boston Transcript. Mbs. Frances Hodosox Buexett, who is a resident of Washington, gives the following directions how to write a novel*. “You must have pen, ink, and paper. Use the first with brains, the* second with imagination, and the third with generosity. The spruce trees of Northern Maine are dying a natural death.