Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1883 — Page 7

MARRIAGE.

Some Ctneerootioe AAeioe »'em the ftwi dent of Ike Z4me Kiln Club. (From the Detroit Free Frees.] “I understand,” began the President, as the meeting opened in due form, “dat quite a number of de members of dis club am gwine to be mar’ied doorin’ de summer. Dat’s all right, an’ I wish ’em much joy, an’ shall be glad to witness de obsequies of each an’ ebery one. But I want to say a few words in gineral. In de fust place am you gwine to mar*y fur love or fur a sort o’ bizness partnership ? If you answer fur love, let me warn you to be sartin dat you doan’ mistake de sentiment. Many a young man who thought his heart torn by love has plunged into matrimony to diskiver dat he simply had an admiration fur a S3O set of false teeth an* a high instep. If you answer, fur a sort o’ bizness partnership, let me warn you not to expect too much. You won’t love de woman an’ she won’t trust you. It will be a sort o’ boss trade, in which both parties will be cheated an’ both continer to be mad about it. You kin’ git along arter a fashion, an’ people who see her on your arm at a circus won’t know how you fight at home. “If you mus’ marry, let common sense have a show in de transackshun. Doan’ go off yer feet becase you meet a gal who kin sing like a robin, smile like a rose, an’ jump off a street kyar widout boderin’ de driver to stop. A wife will have much to do besides singin’ an’ cultivatin’ dimples. If you am gwine to marry, ax yerselves how fur $lO per week will go when divided up fur clothes, an’ pervishuns, an’ house rent, an’ fewel, an’ incidentals. Befo’ you fall in love wid a gal who looks too sweet fur anythin’ in a plush sacque, kinder figure on how many sich duds your income would afford her. Befo am all broke up ober a gal who plays de pianner, talks French, paints landscapes an’ reads poetry, jist sit down an’ figger who am to cook yer meat an’ taters, patch yer ,cloze, darn yer socks an’ help ye make sl2 buy sls worth of things. Befo’ ye let a pa’r o’ flashing eyes an’ a cunnin’ dimple captivate ye, look aroun’ a little an’ see if de owner has got a temper like a wildcat. Marriage am a lottery simply becase people take each odder unsight an’ unseen. Let us now prognosticate to bizness.”

BLACK BASS.

There has been more confusion and uncertainty attending the scientific classification and nomenclature of the black bass than usually falls to the lot of fishes, some dozen generic appellations and nearly fifty specific titles having been bestowed upon the two species by naturalists since their first scientific descriptions by Count Lacepede in 1802. Nor has this polyonomous feature been confined to their scientific terminology, for their vernacular names have been as numerous and varied; thus they are known in different sections of our country as bass, perch, trout, chub or salmon, with or without various qualifying adjectives descriptive of color or habits. Much of the confusion attending the common names of the black bass arises from the coloration of the species, which varies great- 1 ly even in the same waters; thus they are known as black, green, yellow and spotted bass. Then they have received names somewhat descriptive of their habitat, as lake, river, marsh, pond, slough, bayou, moss, grafts and Oswego bass. Other names have been conferred on account of their pugnacity or voracity, as tiger, bull, sow and buck bass. In the Southern States they are universally known as “trout. ” In portions of Virginia they are called chub, Southern chub, or Roanoke chub. In North and South Carolina they are variously known as trout, trout-perch or Welshman; indeed, the large, mouthed bass received its first scientific specific name from a drawing and description of a Carolina bass sent to Lacepede under the local name of trout or trout-perch, who accordingly named it salmoides, meaning trout-like, or salmon-like.— Century. x

HOW AN ACADEMIC HEAD WENT OFF.

Of Dr. Soule, of Exeter Academy, one writes: “The old doctor was constitutionally opposed to drinking. One day a classmate of mine, whom I will call Smith, got gloriously drunk. The doctor called him up and made him detail the course of the spree, which included a visit to the three or four groggeries of the village, and the absorption of three or four glasses of ale, three glasses of wine and a horn or two of whisky. In holy horror, as Smith ended the enumeration, the Doctor held up his hands, saying, “Why, Smith, if lat my age had drank that much, I should have been carried home on a

stretcher.’ Tossibly,’ said the imperturbable Smith; ‘some heads are constitionally weak to spiritual influences.’ The Doctor smote off Smith’s academic head that instant, and he went home on the evening train.”

BABIES IN SCANDINAVIA.

The peasants like grand names for their little ones, such as Adolph, Adricin, Gotfried, Gustavus, for boys; and Josephina, Thora, Ingeborg, for girls; and if they have no name prepared they seek one in the almanac for the particular day of baby’s birth. It is baptized the next Sunday and taken to church by the godmother, who provides the christening garments, which are often trimmed with colored bows, while the infant has beads round its neck and wears a cap with very little border. The clergyman holds it well over the font and pours water over the back of the head three times, then wipes with a towel. As the baby is swathed in six-inch-wide bandages so that it cannot move its legs and sometimes not even its arms, it is obliged to lie very passive during this ceremonial. The peasants have their reasons for this swathing, the first of which is that they* think it makes the limbs grow straight; the second that it turns baby into a compact bundle to carry. When swathed thus, infants have been said to resemble the tail of a lobster, or even its whole body. In the north they are often hung from a long, springy pole, stuck in the wall, to be out of the way; and, being by nature quiet, they are supposed not to mind it. Their cradles, which are very primitive, are frequently suspended by a spiral spring from the roof, which must be more comfortable than the pole. Both in Swedish and Norwegian Lapland, people take these' “swaddlings” to church. But instead of carrying them into clfurch they make a hole in the snow outside in the churchyard and bury them in it, leaving a small aperture for breathing purposes. The babies are kept splendidly warm, while their friends within the sacred building have beards frozen to their fur coats by the freezing of their own breaths. As soon as a peasant boy can walk, he is put into trousers, buttoned outside his jacket; these are so baggy behind that it is often amusing to see him. This bagginess is frequently due to the fact that the trousers originally belonged to his father, and were cut off at the legs and simply drawn round the boy’s waist without reducing their size. Add to this that the feet are shod either with little jack-boots or wooden shoes, and we have a strange picture. Their stockings either have leather heels or no heels at all, so that the mother is spared the trouble of mending them. Neither has she much labor with their heads, the hair of which is cropped as close as a convict’s. The girls also wear wooden shoes, but they have gingham kerchiefs or caps on their heads, frocks down to their heels, and quaint pinafores.— Young Folk’s Magazine.

One of the Elect.

Cleveland, Ohio.—The Plain Dealer reports that Hon. Martin A. Foran, Con-gressman-elect from the Cleveland (Ohio) district has used St. Jacobs Oil in his family, and .has always found it safe and reliable, and it afforded him great relief to a lame knee. > T To carry pistols is said to be more common with women than with men. Perhaps they need them more than they are needed by men. Many actresses are reported to carry revolvers. The bosom is reported to be the feminine pistol-pocket. The law against carrying such weapons is not enforced against women, it appears.— Bos ton Traveller. If envy, like anger, did not burn itself in its own fire, and consume and destroy those persons whom it possesses, before it can destroy those it most wishes to, it would set the whole world on fire, and leave the most excellent persons the most miserable.— Lord Clarendon.

“Put Up” at the Gault House.

The business man or tourist will find flrst-clasa accommodations at the low price of fla and fl’Z. r .O per day at the Gault House, Chicago, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot Elevator; all appotnments firstclass. HL W. Hoyt, Proprietor; It has got so now that a man can't chase a horse-car but it is immediately reported that he is running for the Governorship. *Whkn the fountains of life are not corrupted and emb.ttered by suffering; when the functions of womanhood are strictly normal, women life is like music, with no discord to jar her delicate sensibilities xnd break the viud and organic harmony. But many who suffer from vital and functional disorders have found immediate relief and a permanent cure by using Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound The dancer's road to fortune is a towpath. Marianna, Fla.—Dr. Theo. West, says: “I consider Brown’s Iron Bitters the best tonic that is sold ” A foub-foot rule—Keeping the twins well-shod.

THE DANGER OF OVER-EXERTION.

A Stalwart Maa' Baeaaaw Weaker Than a Child and Thea Recovers His Fanner Strength. (Waterloo (N. T.) Observer.] In these days of rowing giants and athletic heroes fine physical development is more observed than ever before since the time of the Athenian games. A man who shows the elements of physical power is looked up to far more than in the days of our ancestors* possibly because there are fewer specimens of well-developed manhood than then. An emissary of this paper met a magnificent specimen of physical power a few days since in the person of Dr. A W. McNamee, of Waterloo. His muscles, which showed unusual development, were as hard as wood, At his request the writer sought to pinch him in the arms or legs, but found it wholly impossible. A realization of what is meant by an iron man was fully made manifest “Have you always been so stalwart as this?” inquired the news gatherer. “Not by any means,” was the reply. “When a young man I was always strong and active and felt that I could accomplish anything. This feeling so took possession of me on one occasion that I attempted to lift a box which four men found it impossible to prove. I succeeded in placing it on the wagon, but in two minutes from that time I was unconscious and remained so for hours, and when I recovered consciousness I vomited a large quantity of blood. From that day I began to grow weak and sickly. I beljeved that I had suffered from internal injury and experienced a general debility, which seemed similiar to the effects produced by milaria My back was very weak. I had no ap L etite, anti at times loathed food. My lips were parched and cracked. My head felt as though it were entirely open at the top and it pained me on the side intensely. Lu six weeks’ time I had fallen away from 208 pounds to less than 170. I was in a. most wretched condition. I was completely discouraged.” “Wnat did the doctors say about you?” “Almost everything. I consulted no less than six different physicians. They all treated me and none did me any good. At that time I was suffering intensely. I could not Mt upright but was ob.lged to rest in a cramped, uneasy position. I was compelled to urinate every five minutes, and I passed over three quarts every day. I was not living, I was existing. J “One night (how well I remember it!) my wife had put the children all in bed when the feeling came .over me that I should live but a very f hort thna My wife and I talked matters a 1 over and I gave the minutest directions as to what she should do after I was gone. I was not in a flighty condition by any means, lor tne docter, on leaving town the day following, bade mo good-by saying he never expected to see me again, for I was suffering with Bright’s direase of the kidneys in its last stages. Within the next few days more than twenty friends came to bid me good-by. Among the number was Dr. John L. Clark. He asked me what I had used m the way of medicinea I told him He then recommended a remedy of which I bad heard much, but about which I was very skeptical. If faith were an element of power it certainly was lacking in my case.” “And so you did not try it?” “On the contrary, I did try it and to my surprise it seemed to go to just the spot. Indeed, it was the most palatable th ng I had taken into my mouth for months. I relished it.”

“And did it cure you?” “Do I look as if it did?” “Yes, indeed. What was it?” “Warner’s Safe Cure.” “A proprietary medicine?* “Of course. What of that?' I suppose I once had as great a prejudice against advertised medicines as any one could have. When I was studying medicine at Ann Arbor, Mich., I used to vow with the rest of the clfo.s that we would fight all such remedies atalltimea When a man comes down to the last hour, however, and bids his wife and friends good-by, such bigoted prejudices as these all vanish, I can assure you any remedy that can cure is gladly welcomed.” “And how have you Deen since then?" “As well—or better than before”

“Do you still exert your strength?” “Certainly. But I do not over-exert, as formerly. My strength is increasing every day, ana my health is number one I know that my lite was saved by Warner's Safe Cure, and I believe it is the best medicine that was ever compounded by any chemist or physician. I am willing the doctors should sneer at me for such a statement if they choose, but I have proven its truth, ana am prepared to stand by it” The above experience should be of great value to all who are suffering. It shows the deceptive nature of this terrible malady; that all symptoms are common to it and that there is but one way by which it can be absolutely avoided.

The cost of stopping a train of cars is said to be from 40 to 60 cents When the train is stopped by another train these prices become somewhat inflated. Chablotteville. Va.—Mr. C. H. Harman, President of the Peoples’ Bank, test flee to the value of Brown’s Iren Bitters for relieving indigestion. A new Gatling gun has been Invented, which can be so elevated as to fire perpendicularly into the air. It will be popular with Virginia editors Mensman’s Peptonized Beef Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing Ts entire nutritious properties It contains bloodmaking, force-generating and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, ana all forms of general debility; also, in all enfeebled oonditions, whether the result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints Caswell, Hazard A Co., proprietors, New York. Sold by druggists. Kind words never dye, and it is Just possible they are baldeaded. Sticking, irritation, inflammation, all Kidney and Urinary Complaints, cured by “BuchuPaiba.** fIL The French word for law is placed in the feminine gender. This is because the law is so fearfully uncertain. That husband of mine la three times the man he was before he began using Wells* Health Renewer.

Personal !—To Men Only!

Thb Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich., will send Dr. Dye’s Celebrated ElectroVoltalc Belts and Electric Appliances on trial for .thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of health and manly vigor. Address as above. N. B.— No risk is incurred, as thirty days’ trial is allowed. Wbllb’ “Bough on Coens."—l6c. Ask tor it. Complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts, bunions. Get Lyon’s Patent Heel Stiffeners applied to new boots or shoes before you run them over. Don’t di» in the house. “Bough on Rats." Clears out rats, mice, flies, roaches, bed-bugs. Me.

U MII* Wholesale and retail. Bend tor rrice-Bst. H Al Goods BcntC.O.D. Wigs made to order. IIMIII E. BURNHAM, 71 Stale street, Chicago.

To Say Nothing of the Discomfort,

Chronic constipation is an ailment very difficult to overcome by ordinary means, and absolutely inimical to health in the tree discharge of the various physical functions. Dyspepsia, liver oomplaint, sick headaches, inflammation of the bowels, and a variety of other complaints, spring from or are aggravated by It. Among aperients of a rational class, as distinguished from the violent purgatives far less esteemed than formerly by the profess.on and the j üblic. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters stands deservedly high. It is sufficiently active, without being sudden and painful in operation, and not only affords radical reliet from irregularity of the bowels, but invigorates them and their kindred organs, the liver and stomach. As a tonic, therefore, no lees than as an aperient, it is an article of the first rank. Fever and ague, rheumatic complaints, a want of vitality, and kidney and bladder nilments, are also within the scope of its remedial 'influence. A serious drawback—A blister between your shoulders. Enbich and revitalize the blood by using Brown's Iron Bitters. Almanacs should be printed on dered” paper. ■ /

NO BEST DAY OB NIGHT. Xu the fall of 1875 my sufferings were terrible. I was swollen to such proportions that I feared my limbs would burst. I had the best medical talent obtainable, and at the worst stage of my illness when my husband and many friends had given me up to die, the late Dr. John Woodbury made a thorough examination of my water, and pronounced my case acute kidney disease, bordering on Bright’s disease, and accompanied by gravel, and recommended the immediate uae of Hunt’s Bemedy. At this time I was suffering most terrible pain in my back, limbs and head, and could find no rest day or night for weeks, and I was growing weaker daily until this kind physician ordered me to take Hunt's Remedy. Before taking half of one bottle I commenced to improve, and, after taking six bottles, was entirely cured. This was nearly eight years ago, and I have had no return of the disease. I have recommended Hunt’s Remedy to others in similar cases, and it has never failed to cure. I have also used it for sick headache, and found in it a sure relief. I think it the best medicine made, and cheerfully recommend it to all. Mrs. W. H. BTILSON, Q X/- No. 16 Tyler St., Boston, Mass. April 18,1883. A WELL-KNOWN MAN. Hunt’s Remedy having been recommended to me for kidney and liver complaints, I purchased some at the "People’s Drug Store* and used it in my family, and found it to be a very valuable medicine, and I gladly recommend it highly to my friends, knowing it to be beneficial to those troubled with kidney or liver disease. Respectfully yours, ELISHA NOYSE, 63 G St., So. Boston, Mass. April 14, 1883. A LAST MAUFACTUKER. Ibave used Hunt's Bemedy for the kidney complaint, and, having been fully restored to health by its use, I can testify to its value. Daily I recommend it to some one of my friends, all of whom I know have been benefited by its use. Gratefully, GEO. P. COX, Malden, Mass., April 23,1883.

HIS. LYDIA L PIIKHAM. OF LYNIL i * 1 5 1 LYDIA E. PINKHAM’S VEGETABLE COMPOUND, Is a Positive Cure for ell these Petaftil Omnlritto nnl WeekncssM •oeontmon te ear beat ftaele vesnletlen. It will ewe entirely the worst form of Female eom* plaints, all ovarian trosblaa, Inflammation and Ulcer*. tiOlls IWlinf ft&d Mid th* OOBMQU6III Spinal Weakneaa, aad la partloulariy adapted to the change of Ufa. It will dtaolva and expel tunon fkom the sterna in aa early atage of development. The tendency to ean* earoua hnmore there ia checked vaay qpeedily byite saa, It removee falntneea, flatulency, deatroya an craving for attanlanta, aad rellevaa weakneaa of the stomach. It ewes Bloating, Beadachea, Nervoua Proetrstton, Oeneral Debility, Bliepl»aanri, Depramion and Indi* portion. That fooling of bearing down, earning pain, weight and backache, fa always permanently owed by tta uae. It win atalltimea aad under an dreumatanoeo act la harmony with the lawa that govern the female eyatem Forthocureof Kidney Complalafa of either eu this Oom pound fa unawpamed, LYDIA. K. PINKHAM'S TEQrTABLK CQM. POUND to prepared at nt aad M 6 Weatorn Avenue, Lynn, Mam. PricegL SixbottleeforflA Soatbymatt tn the form of pilfa, also la the torn of looengm, oa receipt of price, fll per box for either. MmHakhaaa freely anawenaU letters of inquiry. Bead far pamphlet. Addrsmaoabova. MmKostMepqpen Mo family should be without LYDU I, PINKHAM'S UVKR PHXfi. They owe ecuottpatfoa, bOtoMseaQ aad torpidity of the ttver. M cento per bos. M*Bald by aril Druggists.

For You; Madam. Whose Complexion betrays some humiliating imperfection, whose mirror tells yon that you are Tanned, Sallow and disfigured in countenance, or have Eruptions, Redness, Roughness or unwholesome tints of Complexion, we say use Hagan’s Magnolia Balm. ,i It is a delicate, harmless and delightful article, producing the most natural and entrancing tints, the artificiality of which no observer can detect, and which soon becomes permanent if the Magnolia Balm is judiciously

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