Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1883 — Page 3

The Republican. RENSSELAER. INDIANA, ft ft MARSHALL, ~ pomjpnx

Prominent church members and business men appear as bar-keepers in the new directory of Rome, Ga. The compiler has fled into the mountains. The Rev. Henry Crawford Tucker served as a Baptist clergyman in Georgia for forty-seven years without a salary. He had three wives and thirtyone children; bnt no one heard of him until he died a short time since. An item going the rounds of the press effectually settles the trade-dollar question. It is to the effect that a Polish girl stole twenty-five trade dollars and hid them in her mouth. Bring on yeur trade, dollars and feed the Poles with them. The following obituary notice appears in a Kansas City paper: “ 'Ninetoed Annie,’ a personage well known in the upper circles of Hell’s Half Acre society, fell into the Missouri river last evening, and was drowned. She was a daughter of the late-lamented ‘Scarfaced Maggie’ and a cousin to ‘Oneeared Sam’ and ‘Ginger-cake’ Joe.’” An extraordinary tragedy enacted in the streets of Tiflis. A certain Melih Sarkisspff quarreled with and shot his brother with a revolver, discharging the contents of every barrel into his’ victim. A commissary of police, curiously bearing the same name as the fratricide, attracted to the scene decapi:tated the assassin by a single blow. The bar of a Fall River rumseller was actually closed in unlawful heurs, but the suspicious officers observed that he had numerous visitors in his residence. The. house was searched several tim4s without finding the whisky which, it was clear, the company was getting; but at length, on turning on a gas burner, the beverage ran from the pipe, which had been connected with a arrel in the groggery cellar.

Gov. Butler has a tanned human skin which he says he will bury when he is done with it, and will not return it to the shoemaker, who wants to make a pair of shoes out of it for a museum in Rome. The»New York Ufonlvrtg Journal says: “Bold' Ben is right. But before consigning it to earth he shouTQ have it cut into strips of about sixteen indies long, and with them “lash the rascals naked through the world” who committed the enormities on the poor at Tewksbury.” It is now reported that the cholera, which is making havoc in Egypt, is but one of the many disastrous results of the latp war there. The few rules to provide for cleanliness were suspended, or at least rendered inoperative, by British occupancy, and filth has had full sway, inviting disease and feeding it-well with wretched human beings. The reports censure the British authorities, who, it is said, had ample warning of the coming pestilence. Washington Territory is looming up in its rapidly increasing commerce. It will send abroad this year 335,000,000 feet of lumber, 200,000 tons of coal, 200,000 pounds of hops, 200,000 cases of salmon, 5,000,000 bushels of wheat, 3,000,000 bushels of oats, 100,000 bushels of potatoes, and 2,500,000 pounds of wool. In cargoes of 1,500 tons, this quantity of produce will load' 900 large ships, or three every day in the year except Sundays.

Mb. Justice Moule sentenced a ratal prisoner in England in the following words: “Prisoner at the bar, your counsel thinks you innocent, the counsel for the prosecution thinks you innocent, I think you innocent. Ent a jury of your own countrymen, in the exercise of such common sense as they possess, which does not seem to me to be much, have found you ‘guilty,’ and it remains that I should pass on you the sentence of the law. That is, that you be kept in prison one day, and, as that day was yesterday, you may go about your business.” Attobhey General BbEwsteb is reported to be occupied in perfecting a change in the uniforms worn by the Justices of the Supreme Court The New York World says his esthetic taste has. been shocked by the absence of ruffles upon the sombre, baggy silk gowns they now wear. He thinks the dignity ot their appearance would be greatly enhanced by a double row of broad brass buttons down the front,

with the addition of an Elizabethan ruff around the throat and embroidered chevrons upon the sleeves, indicating the number of years they have served. ’“I think the millenium must be approaching,” remarked a Harlem man to a deacon. “What makes you think so?” asked the goed old man. “Because when the contribution-box reached your pew yesterday, you dropped in a $5 gold piece instead of your usual donation of a nickle.” “Gr§at Scott!" exclaimed the deacon, turning pale, “Why, I thought I put in only a new 2cent piece that I found on the street the other day I” and the worldly invectives the pions old fraud heaped upon his own head would have made a hardened sinner shudder. Ah old Massachusetts settler was Ruggles, a lawyer and practical joker; and his jokes showed that some of the modern ones are pretty old. For instance, 140 years ago an old woman came into the Court House as a witness, and not seeing a seat at hand was directed by Ruggles to take the Chief Justice’s seat, and she did. Soon the court, in all pomp and circumstance, entered with the officers, who announced “The court!” The Chief Justice, with indignation, inquired of the old lady, “Why she was there?” She pointed to Ruggles and said, “That man told me to take this seat.” The Chief Justice ordered her to leave, and, turning to Ruggles, said: “Mr. Ruggles, why did you give this woman my seat?” Ruggles replied, “I thought it a good place for old women!”

A pearl fishery of great value was some time back reported in the Gulf of Mexico. During the winter fishermen prospectors found some pearls of great value among not a few amaller gems. The first was taken from.the shell of a pearl oyster in December last, 1882. It is believed to be the largest on record. It weighs seventy-five karats. A jeweler offered $14,000, which was accepted. That sum is far below the real value. Another of forty-seven karats is since found, perfect in form and finely tinted. It is valued on the spot at $5,000. A third pearl of forty karats, yet more beautiful, was exhibited at La Paz, where $3,000 was bid. This success of the first exploration is justly regarded as evidence of extensive deposits of pearl-bearing oysters, and great excitement pervades all the fishermen in that gulf. Judicial proceedings in some parts of Michigan seems to be conducted on a soft of go-as-you-please basis. A St. Clair county Justice, on a recent occasion, after hearing a long and tiresome case, addressed the twelve victims sh the jury-box as follows: “Gentlemen of the jury, in this case the counsel on both sides are unintelligible, the witnesses on both sides are incredible, and the plaintiff and defendant are both such bad characters that to me it is indifferent which way you give your vlrdict.” In another recent case a Justice’s jury at Sturgis, having held an inquest upon the body of Shroil Grdpn, who was stabbed to death in a quarrel by Henry Niles, returned an elaborate and unique verdict, declaring, among other things, that “the said Henry Niles, then and there, feloniously, willfully, and of his malice aforethought, killed and murdered the said Shroil Green.”

An Example of Boston Thrift.

A New York jeweler, a native of a Maine village, was one day stopped in the street by a tired and panting individual, whom he soon recognized as a former schoolmate. He unbuttoned first his coat, then his vest, etc., till he finally reached his undershirt, from between two buttons of which he pulled put about an inch of gold chain. “I bought this,” he said, holding the precious bit between thumb and forefinger, “some time ago, an’ have had my ctoubts—though ’twas warranted—till I thought o’ you as the one man I could depend on when I came to New York. Now tell me is that pure gold ?” After his doubts had been allayed and he turned to depart, he swung around once again with the query: “I say, I’ slept night afore last in the Marlboro’, in Boston, *n’ forgot my nightcap there, *n* took a terrible cold cornin’ on. Now, do you suppose they’ll save that fur me till I git back?” “No, sir I” shouted his bored listener, “Boston’s Bpthrifty a town that, before you get there, they’ll have converted it into a pudding-bag to cook Maine blueberries!”— Boston Transcript. Mbs. Frances Hodosox Buexett, who is a resident of Washington, gives the following directions how to write a novel*. “You must have pen, ink, and paper. Use the first with brains, the* second with imagination, and the third with generosity. The spruce trees of Northern Maine are dying a natural death.

THE BAD BOY.

“Hello," said the grocery man to the bad boy, as he came in looking sick at heart, and all broke up, “How is your muscle this morning?” “All right enough,” said the boy with a look of inquiry, as though wondering what was coming next. “Why?” “Oh, nothing, only I was going to grind the hatchet, and some knives and things, this morning, and I thought maybe you would like to go out in the shed and turn the grindstone for me, to develop your muscles. Turning a grindstone is the healthiest thing a boy can do. ” “That is all right enough,’ said the bad boy, as he took up a sweet cracker, “ but please take a good look, at me. Do I look like a grind-stone boy ? Do I resemble a good little boy that can’t say ‘no,’ and goes off and turnsagrindstone half a day for some old duffer, who pays him by giving him a handful of green currants, or telling him he will be a man some day, and the boy goes off one way, with a lame back, while the good man goes the other way, with a sharp scythe, and a chuckle at the softness of the boy ? You are mistaken in me. I have passed the grindstone peribd, and you will have to pick up another sardine who has never done circular work. Not any grindstone for Hennery, if you please.” “You are getting too smart,” said the grocery man, as he charged a pdund of sweet crackers to the boy’s father. “You don’t have to turn the grindstone if you don’t want to.”

“That’s what I thought,” says the boy, as he takes a handful of blueberries. “You grindstone sharps, who are always laying for a fool boy to give taffy to, and get him to break his back, don’t play it fine enough. You bear on too hard on the grindstone. I have seen the time when a man could get me to turn a grindstone for him till the cows come home, by making me believe it was fun, and by telling me he never saw a boy that seemed to throw so much soul into grindstone as I did, but I have found that such men are hypocrites. They inveigle a boy into their nest, like the spider does the fly, and at first they don’t bear on hard, but just let the blade of the ax or scythe touch the grindstone, and they make a boy believe he is a bigger man than old Grant. They bet him he will get tired, and he bets that he can turn a grindstone as long as anybody, and when the boy has got his reputation at stake, then they begin to bear on hard, snd the boy gets tired, but he holds out, and when the tools are ground he says he is as fresh as a daisy, when he is tired enough to die. Such men do more to teach boys the hollowness of the world and its tricky features, than anything, and they teach boys to know who are friends and who are foes. No, sir, the best way is to hire a grown person to turn your grindstone. I remember I turned a grindstone four hours for a farmer once, and when I got through he said I could go to the spring and drink all the water I wanted for nothing. He was the tightest man I ever ‘saw. Why, tight! That man was tight enough to hold kerosene.” “Thatfs all right. . Who wanted you to turn grindstone, anyway? But what is it about your pa and ma being turned out of the church ? I hear that they scandalized themselves horribly last Sunday.” “Well, you see, me and my chum put up a job on pa to make him think Sunday was only Saturday and ma she fell into it and I guess we are all going to get fired from the church for working on Sunday. You see they didn’t go to, meetin’ last Sunday because ma’s new bonnet hadn’t come, and Monday and Tuesday it rained, and the rest of the week was so muddy no one called, or they could not get anywhere, so Monday I slid out early and got the daily paper, and on Tuesday my chum he got the paper off the steps and put Monday’s paper in its place. I watched when they were reading it, but they did not notice the date. Then Wednesday We put Tuesday’s paper on the steps and pa said that it seemed more than Tuesday, but ma she got the paper of the day before and looked $t the date and said it seemed so, to her but she guessed they had lost a day somehow. Thursday we got Wednesday’s paper on the stops, and Friday we rung in Thursday’s paper, and Saturday my chum he got Friday’s paper on the stops, and ma said she guessed she would wash to-morrow, and pa. said he believed he would hoe in the garden and get the weeds out so it would look bettor to folks when they went by Sunday to church. Well, Sunday morning came, and with it Saturday’s daily paper, and pa barely glanced it over as he got on his overalls and went out in his shirt sleeves a hoeing in the front garden. And I and my chum helped ma carry water to wash. She said it seemed like the longest week she ever saw, but when we brought the water, and took a plate of pickles to the hired girl that wAs down with the mumps, we got in the lilac bushes and waited /or the curtain to rise. It wasn’t long before folks began.gmng to church and you’d a dide laughing to see them all stop in fronr of where ma was washing and look at her, J«xd then go on to where pa was hoeing weeds and stop and look at him, and then drive on. After about a dqnfo teams had passed I heard ma ask pa’if he knew who was dead, as there mtyst be a funeral somewhere. Pa had justJioed into a bumble-bee’s nest, and said be did net know of any that was dead, bqt knew some that ought to be, and ma site did not ask any foolish questions anymore. After about twenty teams hadntopped, m*. she got nervous and asked Deacon Smith if he saw anything green; he said something

about desecration and drove away. Deacon Brown asked pa if he did not think he was setting a bad example before his boy, but pa said he thought it would be a good one if the boy could only be hired to do it. Finally ma got mad and took the tub behind the house where they could not see her. About 4 o’clock that afternoon we saw a dozen of our congregation headed by the minister file into our yard, and my chum and I knew it was time to fly, so we got on the back steps where we could hear. Pa met them at the door, expecting some bad news, and when they were seated, ma she came in and remarked it was a very unhealthy year, and it stood people in hand to meet their latter end. None of them said a word until the elder put on his specs and said it was a solemn occasion, and ma she turned pale and wondered who it could be, and pa says, ‘Don’t keep us in suspense; who is dead?’ and the elder said no one was dead, but they called as a duty they owed the cause to take action on them for working on Sunday. Ma she fainted away and they threw a pitcher of water down her back, and pa said he guessed they were a pack of lunatics, but they all swore it was Sunday and they saw ma washing and pa out hoeing as they went to church, and they had called to take action on them. Then there was a few minutes low conversation i could not catch, and then we heard pa kick his chair over and say it was more tricks of that darned boy, then we knew it was time to adjourn, and I was just getting through the baok fence as pa reached me with a barrel stave, and that’s what makes me limp some.” * “That was real mean in you boys,” said the grocery man. “It will be hard for your pa and ma to explain that matter. Just think how bad they must feel.” “Oh, I don’t "know. I remember hearing pa and Uncle Ezra telling how they fooled their father once, and got him to go to mill with a grist on Sunday, and pa said he would defy anybody to fool him on the day of the week. I don’t think a man ought to tempt his little boy by defying him to fool his father. Well, I’ll take a glass of your 50-cent cider and go,” and the boy took a glass of cider and went out, and soon the grocery man looked out the window and found that somebody had added a cypher to the “Sweet cider, only scents a glass, ” making it an expensive drink, considering it was made of sour apples. —Peck’s Sun.

First Sermon in Virginia.

On the 13th of May, 1607, more than 100 Englishmen landed on a slightlyelevated peninsula on the right bank of the “River Powhatan,” Virginia, forty or fifty miles from its mouth, chose the spot for the capital of a new colony, cleared the trees from the ground, and began the building of a village, which, in compliment to their King (James I.), they named Jamestofrn. They also gave his name to the river. The spot is more of an island than a peninsula, for the marshy isthmus .that conn'ects it with the main land is often covered with water. The Rev. Robert Hunt, the pastor of the colony, preached a sermon and invoked the blessings of God upon the undertaking. Then, in the warm sunshine, and among' the shadowv woods and the delirious perfume of flowers, the sound of the metal axe was first heard in Virginia. The first tree was felled for a dwelling on the spot first settled, permanently, by Englishmen in America. The Indians were at first hostile, and the settlement built a stockade. Their first church edifice there was very simple. “When I first went to Virginia," says Capt. Smith, “I well remember we did hang an awning (which was an old sail) to three or four trees to shadow us from the sun; our walls were sails of wood; our seats unhewed trees, till we cut planks; our pulpit a bar of wood nailed to two neighboring trees; in foul weather we shifted into an old rotten tent, for we had few- better. This was our church till we built a homely thing, like a barn, set upon chrotchets, covered with rafts, sedge and earth; so were also the walls. The best of our houses were of the like curiosity, but, for the most part, of far worse workmanship, that could neither well defend wind or rain. Yet we had daily common prayer morning and evening, every Sunday two sermons, and every three months communion till our minister died.” The church—“the homely thing like a barn”—was burned while Capt. Smith was a prisoner among the Indians.

Latest Theory of Seasickness.

Perhaps the most acceptable theory to-day is the one which places the ongin of the trouble in the inner ear. The ear consiste d three parts; the outer of these runs jn as far as the drum; the middle part is inside of the drum, and contains the chain of ( ear-bones; while the inner ear is a complicated affair, contaning tile essential organ of hearing. As far as we are concerned, the inner ear is a niembranous bag filled with fluid, and situated in the solid bone. From the back part of this bag run out three semicircular tubes communicating at both ends with the bag or vestibule. These run in three different planes, and are lined with hair-like, nerve-filaments, which are so much more abundant and more sensitive at the anterior part of the tubes. The tubes are filled with liquid in which float little calcareous particles, the otoliths. The tubes are known as the semicircular canals. It was found difficult to see what connection with the sense of hearing these canals could possibly have, and some time ago it was noticed that injuries to these impaired the sense of hearing in no way, but caused most curious effects in the loss of equilibrium.

“TURN OUT THE RASCALS."

Mr. Dana, of the New York Bun, adopts the shibboleth “Turn out the rascals” as his entire political platform. He flaunts it at the top of his columns in big letters, leaded and spaced. Many have been asking themselves, What does it mean? To whom does it refer ? Considering Mr. .Dana’s location and' environment we have crime to the conclusion that it must refer to the Democratic rascals whom the Republicans of New York foolishly permitted to obtain possession of their Leglislature and their State offices last fall. These Democratic rascals have added $2,226,000 to the taxes of the State. Most of it has gone to pay fellow-Democrats and fellow-rascals for party services, Does Mr. Dana mean that these are the rascals that are to be turned out? The new Board of Claims created by the Democratic rascals absorbs $25,800. Turn out the rascals of the Board of Claims by all means. Permit them not to rob the taxpayers of this amount. An Emigration Commissioner and two deputies gobble $12,800 of the people’s money. Turn out these Democratic Tammany rascals. Insist that they shall be turned out, Mr. Dana. Kick out the Tammany-created useless Captain of the Port of New York, and his eleven subordinate ward-strikers, dubbed harbormasters, and save the tax-payers $31,000. Turn out these rascals, and keep them out. Away with the useless and ridiouloua Bureau of Labor Statistics established by the Democratic rascals whom the foolish Republicans trusted, and save the $11,400 which it costs. It was created to provide fat jobs for two or three ward politicians. Turn the rascals out! Turn out the new Capitol Commissioner and his ex-cock-fighting assistants. They are tax-eaters to the amount of $13,500. Turn the tax-eating rascals out! Turn out the other thieves and rascals w,hom the Democratic Legislature provided fat salaries for at the expense of the State I Turn out every Democratic rascal who was in office and lobbied to have his salary increased! Turn out every rascal who has helped to burden the people with new offices, increased salaries, and added expenses 1 And when Mr. Dana and his friends have done with the rascals who are preying on the State he can turn his attention to the Democratic thieves and ’ rascals who prey on New York city. Let him begin with the Democratic-grogshop-Aldermonic rascals and their bummer proteges. Turn them out, kick them out, the rascals! Kick out the numerous Commissioners who fleece and pluck the people. Turn out the brood of Tammanyitoa who live off the people. Turn them out, kick them out, and keep them out! Here is work (or Reformer Dana. Turn out those Democratic thieves and rascals. In the meantime Republicans will keep on purifying their party by kicking out of it every thief and rascal that they find, as they have been doing, and they may lend you a helping hand as they did when they helped you kick out Tweed, and Sweeny, and Connolly, and your big Tammany rascals. Don’t permit any rascal to retain an official position, to steel the people’s money, to receive any of the people's taxes. Protect the honest people, the taxpayers, good citizens. Kick out every rascal, and keep him out forever; out of every place out the penitentiary, which, though it contains numerous Democratic rascals, has room for more of them. — Chicago Tribune.

Political Notes.

The Democratic cry of “turn the rascals out” doesn’t consist They are already out, and have been for more than twenty years. The trouble is that the “rascals” want in. # The Brooklyn Times thinks that Robert Lincoln, of Illinois, and Joseph R. Hawley, of Connecticut, would make the strongest Presidential ticket that could be put into the field. The New York Times’ correspondent, after making an exhaustive survey of the Democratic political situation in Indiana, has arrived at the conclusion that the general sentiment of the Hoosier Democrats is in favor of the ticket of 1876—Ti men and Hendricks. The New York Sun promises a “Solid South” to the right kind of Democratic Presidential candidate. The right kind of a candidate has not yet been selected. But is it not a little risky to promise the votes of Virginia, Florida, North Carolina and even Delaware thus early.

A party continually whining that its members at election times are bodght and sold like so many sheep st the shambles, will never merit the confidence of the country, and so long as it persists in running on this degraded and degrading level it need expect nothing but defeat — Indianapolis Journal. The Ohio Democrats are beginning to get frightened about the attitude of the independent voters. The independent voter is usually a tax-payer, to seldom or never a saloontot; so the Ohio Democrats need have no doubt that the independents will vote against Hoadly, the saloon candidate, and for Foraker and the enforcement of the law. The cyclone and the floods have done a good deal of damage this year, and Democrats have had hopes of the Stato bugs, worms, grasshoppers, and ought until now. It will be noticed that that party is never fat except in seasons of disaster. When whiskyjto free, and gloom settles over the home* of the.touers, Democracy to strongest and noisiest.— lnter Ocean.