Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 July 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

Rebf-vobhebs t The coral worm. The man to fill a vacancy—David Davis. I The Weather Bureau is the storm soenter. Thebe are no female dudes. The society idiot is always a man. Doctors are generous men. Who ever heard of a doctor rushing out to ehase away boys who were taking fruit from his trees ? „ “You needn’t be so crusty,” said Todkins to bis better half. "Better be a little crusty than half bated,” was the reply of his amiable spouse. “Out of the Months of Babes”: Edith—“ Have you written aB the invitations to my parte’, mamma?*. Mamma: “Yea, Edith. Edith —"But the best part will be when Uje aceeptkras and deceptions begin to- come in, won’t it, mamma?”— Harvard Lampoon . Jack —“ Say, eld man, will you let me take your hat and top-soat to-night; mine are looking a little tie worse for wear ? Chum—“ Certainly you -can have them;, but don’t yon call that taking your partner’s best and going it alone? — Harvard Lampoon.

No wobd was spokes when th«jr met. By either—sad or gay, And yet one badly smitten was, As was remarked next day. .* They met by chance-this autumn eve, _With neither glance nor bow, They often some together so— A freight train and a cow. Enthusiastic professor of discussing the organic and inorganickingdoms—“Now, if 1 should shut my ; eyes—so —and drop my head—so—and. should not move,, you would say I was a. clod. But I move, I leap, I run;: then what do you call me?” Voice from the rear—“A clodhopper!” Class is- dismissed. “Sat. Mrs. Bunson,” said a little girl to- a lady visitor, “do you belong to a brass band?” “No, my dear.” “I thought you did.” “Why do you, my child?" “Because mamma said you was always blowing your - own horn, and I thought you must belong to the)band. ” —The Drumvier. I— J An Arkansas boy,, writing from college in reply to his father’!*letter, said: “So you think I am wasting my time in writing little stories for the local papers, and cite Johnson’s saying that theman who* writes except for money is a fool. I shall act upon. Dr_ Johnson’s suggestion and write for money. Send me SSO. ’ r From a scientific journal we learn that “400 species of comatulidse are now known, and all except four belonging to the genuis Eudiocrinas- have at least ten arms. We always, thought there- were about that many species of eomatulidse, but we were a little shaky as- to the number of arms. A comatulidae with ten arms oiight to* be able to scratch its own back, no matter in whftt spot it may itch.— Norristown Herald. “M’eia, I heerd de boss readin’ from d» paper dis mawnin’ dat there’s gwine ter be a change in the Ministery in England. I spec some bb dem ar Ministers kab been foolin aroun’ somebody’s premises when de, kusban’ an’ fader was way down in de eotton patch, an’ 1 dat’s kase why dey change dem. M’ria, dis should be a w&’nin’' u> ye, ter we am : all wums, an’ we should profit by do ’stractioQ dis lesson ’fords..’*— Texas Siftings. hit ’em again. The deacon, was stingy as stingy could be, And his minister keen m a brier: And the minister wished the- ceiling, removed. But could not get his desire. One day a niece of the pl&steringvfell By fate*on the hard deacon's head,. And he sprang to his feet and offeree! a ten To have that thing secured overhead. “Lord, hit him again!” said the minister keen. With which you and I will agree,. For if plaster will open:the heart of a man, The plaster the man should have free. —Rochester Post-£jcpress. A peasant who had often heard that; Truth was a jewel lying at tie bottom! of a well descended into has well to> search) for the treasure. He skinned his knees and elbows, barked his nose;, run an old fork into his foot, and shivered around for six long hours before' his wife drew him up. and asked’: “What in Goodness’ name were you doing down there?” “Looking "for Truth.” “Why I could have told you before you went down there that you were the biggest fool in America!" Moral: You can get more Truth than you want around any well-curb. DE TRAIN. ON DE GULDEN BAIL. Di» nigger’s hair am turnin’ white like decotton om de stalk, HSs limbs am growin’ an’ it’s hard for me to walk; But wid all nv dis I’se happy, an’ we’en de Gospel train rolls by Uncle Remus will be runmin’, an’ will stop foe me an’ St I’ll be standi*’ at de station wid a through ticket in my ban, An’ doan kaJkulate ter git, off de train dis side da promise lan’; We’ll lire de newsbutch from de kar, hIS pies will not be sold* Kase we’se going ter tjke our own grab es wo has ter take it cold. De crossties will.be of marble an’ de spikes of silTer white, Fur de Gospel train on de golden rail will leave do sinner furn sight;« Wid Uncle Remus’ hah’ on de throttle, an’ Ole 81 in de baggage car, We’ll lan’ on time in de sweat by’n’ by wid do beautiful gates ajar. —Griffin ( Ga .) News.