Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 July 1883 — SOME CONUNDRUMS. [ARTICLE]

SOME CONUNDRUMS.

Vhere vas Moses yhen de gas-house blowed out. He vas trinking beer mit his friends. Some mens vas alvays like der keyhole on der back of a clock. Dhey vas behind time. How you found Longitude out. Please got a rule and measure dot. Mine tog Schnied vas a tog sthar. He vas a shky tarrier. In about half pound of prevendif you got more as a loat of manure. Dutch Hant-cuffs—Pretzels. Dinks to-morrow und speak yesterday. A wise sadder, makes der boy got run. Dond shwore, und der tuyfel got ashamed about you. Please lass your outsides in vhen a fool sb peaks, und talk mit a ties about his honesty, und you got em bote on your bosom. God vas give a man a coubles eyes und one tongue, on ackpund he vants you to look a couble times out before you shpeak once.—Carl Pretzel's Weekly. New York city spends $7,000,000 on amusements and $4,000,000 on education yearly.

V “He that pravs harm for hie neighbor begs acre upon himself ” He that rec«nnmend< Kidney-Wort to his sick neighbor brings a bit ssing rich and full both to hia neinibor and himself. Habitual costivenesa is the bane of nearly every American woman Every woman owes it to herself and to her family to use that celebrated m .dic.ne, Kidney-Wort Speculators who get squeezed in a pork deal naturally squeal. Lywis, lowa.—Dr. M. J. Davis says: “Brown's Iron Bitters give the best of satis- , ia.t on to those who use it”