Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 July 1883 — Page 3

TESTING A WITNESS.

A lawyer had seen the story of the -witness who was confident of his accurate notion of time, and was requested to give his ideas of two minutes. A watch was held, and at the end of twenty seconds he declared that two minutes had elapsed. The lawyer resolved to try the experiment on a sailor in the hospital, whose deposition he was taking in regard to a collision, and the time which had elapsed after the vessel left the whart. The sailor answered, “about ten minutes.”

“Man,” said the lawyer, “how longdo you think ten minutes to be ?” “About ten minutes.” ' Out came the lawyer’s watch, as he said, “I’ll tell you when to begin and you tell me when the ten minutes are up.” “Aye, aye, sir,” said the sailor. The lawyer stood with his back to a mantel on which a little clock was facing the sailor. After three minutes the lawyer exclaimed, “See here, are you going to keep up here all day ?” No answer. The hand of the clock was on the exact notch of ten minutes as the sailor said carelessly, “Guess the time mus’ be about up.” “Well,” said the lawyer, “of all men, dying or alive, that I ever saw you -can measure time the best.”

Brearley’s White Mountains Excursions.

Three excursions “from Detroit to the Sea” will leave Detroit June 27, July 11 and 25. Bound trip, 2,200 miles, only $22. Route includes the St. Lawrence River, Thousand Islands and famous Rapids, Montreal, Quebec, White Mts. and Sea Shore. Tickets good 60 days. Send stamp for circular. W. H. BREABLEY.Detro»t( Mich.

WHERE "HOME, SWEET HOME," WAS WRITTEN.

In the autumn of 1846 John Howard Payne was my daily companion in Paris, and told me much of the history of his life. One afternoon, after dining together at Tavernier’s in the Palais Royal, we were strolling around the quadrangle, when, turning his eyes toward that portion of the main building occupied by shops, offices and leased dormitories, he asked me if I saw a small window near the roof, at which he pointed with his Huger. On my replying that I did, he said that in that room, during a season of dejection and almost despair, with only a brick wall separating him., from the palace, and that small window between him and the happy, thoughtless crowds belew, the opening words of the song, “Mid pleasures and palaces,” came to his mind as naturally and unconsciously as a sigh, and that then and there he wrote the words which he afterwards introduced into “Clari, or the Maid of Milan.”— Wm. T. Davis, in New York Sun. ,

A book agent named Joe Smyrk, Was put out and hurt by a jerk, He says as a cure, St. Jacobs Oil is sure, At all times to get in its work. A lightning-rod man in St. Paul, From a house had a serious fall, Though battered and braised, He said, when he used St. Jacobs Oil—“it simply beats all."

SOME CONUNDRUMS.

Vhere vas Moses yhen de gas-house blowed out. He vas trinking beer mit his friends. Some mens vas alvays like der keyhole on der back of a clock. Dhey vas behind time. How you found Longitude out. Please got a rule and measure dot. Mine tog Schnied vas a tog sthar. He vas a shky tarrier. In about half pound of prevendif you got more as a loat of manure. Dutch Hant-cuffs—Pretzels. Dinks to-morrow und speak yesterday. A wise sadder, makes der boy got run. Dond shwore, und der tuyfel got ashamed about you. Please lass your outsides in vhen a fool sb peaks, und talk mit a ties about his honesty, und you got em bote on your bosom. God vas give a man a coubles eyes und one tongue, on ackpund he vants you to look a couble times out before you shpeak once.—Carl Pretzel's Weekly. New York city spends $7,000,000 on amusements and $4,000,000 on education yearly.

V “He that pravs harm for hie neighbor begs acre upon himself ” He that rec«nnmend< Kidney-Wort to his sick neighbor brings a bit ssing rich and full both to hia neinibor and himself. Habitual costivenesa is the bane of nearly every American woman Every woman owes it to herself and to her family to use that celebrated m .dic.ne, Kidney-Wort Speculators who get squeezed in a pork deal naturally squeal. Lywis, lowa.—Dr. M. J. Davis says: “Brown's Iron Bitters give the best of satis- , ia.t on to those who use it”

A VETERAN BENEFACTOR.

His Past Life, Present Plans, and What He Has to Say Upon a Subject That Astonished Him. [From the New York Times.] Nearly forty years ago a' young man, of unusual endowments, began to mould public opinion upon a subject of vital importance. like all pioneers, his early efforts were unsuccessful, but his ability “id the value of his work soon won public confidence, and to-day there is not a village or hamlet in the country that has not been influenced by Dr. Dio Lewis. When, therefore, it was learned yesterday that he contemplated the establishment of a large magazine in this city, the fact was deemed so important that a representative of this paper was commissioned to see him and ascertain the truth of the rumor. Dr. Dio Lewis is a gentleman of 60 years and 200 pounds, with snow-white hair and beard, but probably the most perfect picture of health and vigor in the metropolis. He is a living exponent of his teachings, and, notwithstanding the amount of work he baa already done, promises still greater activity for years to come. He received the interviewer most courteously, and in. reply to a question said: “It is true I have come to New York to establish a monthly magazine. I have come here for the tame reason that I went to Boston twenty-flve yea s ago. Then Boston was the best platform in the country from which to speak of education. New fork has now become most hospitable to progressive thoughts, and especially so to movements on behalf of phy. lea’ training. “I have reason to know the great and abiding interest of the American, people in this subject. They have come to realize that the future of our country pivots upon our physical vitality, and especially upon the vigor of our women. My new magazine will bear the title Dio Lewin'k Monthly, and be devoted to Sanitary and Social Science. I hope through its pages to inaugurate a new departure in hygiene. ” “Have you not written several books on the subject?” “Yes, nine volumes, and some of them like Our Girin, published by the Harpers, have had an enoimous circulation, but the best work of my life I shall give the world in the new nia/azine. Forty years of skirmishing ought to conclude with ten years of organized warfare.” “Doctor, what is the occasion of this new interest in health questions?” “It has come through suffering, which seems the only road t • self-knowledge The stomach, heart, kidneys or liver fall into trouble, happiness i< gone, and then people give attention to their health. ” “Which of these organs is most frequently the victim of ,our ertorsl” asked the reporter. "Within the last few years diseases of the, kidneys have greatly multiplied. When I was engaged in practice, thirty-five and forty years ago, serious disease of the kidneywas rare; but now distressingly frequent and fata .”

“'Io what do you attribute this great in-, crease of klduey troubles?” “To the use of stimulating drinks, adulterated food and ii regular hnD.ts of life. ” ‘ Doctor, have you any confidence in the remedy of whieh we hear so much now a days, ‘Warner’s Safe Care*” - “I believe in the ounce of prevention, rather than a ton of cure” “But have you now ed the remarkable testimonials of Warner’s remedy?” “I have, and confess taat they have puzzled and as.onished me. The commendations of proprietary medicines usually come from unknown persons reading in back coan.ies. But I see in our most reputable newspaj era the warmest praise of Warner's Sate Cure from College Professors, respectable physicians, and o.her persons of high in elugence and character. To thrust such testimony t side may be professional, but it is unmanly. No physician can forget that valuable additions to oar Materia. Medico, have' si rung from just such sources. I was soimpre-sed with this cloud of witnesses that i purchased some bottles of Warner's Safe Cure at a neighboring drug store, and analysed one cf them to see if it contained anything poisonous. Then I took three of the prescribed doses at once, and found there was nothing injurious in it I do not hesitate to say that if I found my kidne.i s in serious troub e 1 should use this remedy, because oc the hopelessness of all ordinary treatment, and because when a hundred intelligent and reputable i er.-ons units in the statement that a certain remedy has cured them of a grave ma aly I choose to believe that they speak the truth ” “But, as you may know, my great interest in life les in prevention. For forty years I have labored in this field. Cue of the pha~ds of my work in New England was »the establishment of the Ladies' Seminary at Lexington, Mas-. My aim was to iHus.rate the pos-» sibid'.ks in the phy ind training of girls darn; tbe r school life. This Institution became, before I left it, the largess and most successful seminary for voung women, owned managed by one person, in our countiy. I sat do an to dinner every day with a family of 201 ] ersons. The remarkable results of this muscle training among girls were given in my paper published in the North American Review of December. 1882. “Beside, I established tbe Normal Institute for Physical Traiijing in Boston, end for ten yeai s was its President and Manager. Dr. Walter Channing, Dr. Thoma r Hoskins, Prof. Leonard and others were among its t ambers, and more taan 400 persons took >ts diploma and went out into all parts of tae land to teach the new i chord of gytnna-d.cs. And now the years left to me I pr.ipose to devote to th J magazine which I have come here to establish. It will be the large <t' periodical ever devoted to this fie.d < f literature, and will present the hundred and one questions of hygiene with the simplicitv of a ch ld's talk. To this end all so-called learning will be subordinated. The magazine will be more or less illustrated, and will strive to reach a high place in the confidence and hearts of the people. In a few weeks our first number will appear, and we shall fondly hope for it a hearty welcome.” The facts above narrated are indeed most important It is gratifyingto know that the life-long experiences of a gentleman who stands without a peer in successfully demonstrate ng the principles of hygiene; whose heart has always been in sympathy with the afflicted, and whose brain has ever b?e_ active in planning for their relief, are to be given to the public through the pages of a magazine. And it is specially significant und proof positive of rare merit that proprietary medicine, even with such high standing as Warner’s Safe Cure is known io have, should be indorsed and recommended by a man so able, so reputable and of such national renown as Dr. Dio Lewis.

A New York newspaper man hearing the fire engines on the pavement below, stepped to the telephone, rang up police headquarters and asked: “Is our office on fire ?” “No, ” wae the reply, “It’s a little building round the corner.* Thus satisfied at not having to go down stairs to find out, he went back to his work. —————— ——- -v Americans run the horse cars and manage the telephone. in Mazatlan, Mexico.

Changes of Climate

Kill more people than is generally known. Particularly is this the case in instances where the constitution is delicate and among our immigrant population seeking new homes in those portions of the West, and where malarial and typhoid fevers prevail at certain seasons of the year. The best preparative for a change of climate, or of diet ana water which that change necessitates, is Hoetetter’s Stomach Bitters, which not only fortifies the system against malaria, a variable temperature, damp and the debilitating effects of tropical heat, but is also the leading remedy for constipation, dyspepsia, liver complaint, bodily troubles specially apt to attack emigrants and visitors to regions near the equator, mariners and tourists. Whether used as a safeguard by sea voyagers; travelers by land, miners, or' of agriculturists in newlypopulated districts, thi-< line specific has elicited the most favorable testimony. Thebe is nothing like a moinsses candypulling to make young people candid when giving taffy. , . Fob dyspepsia, indigestion, depression of spirits and general debility in their various forms; also as a preventive against fever and ague, and other intermittent fevers, the “Ferro-Phosphorated Elixir of Calisaya,” made by Caswell. Hazard <k Co., New York, and sola the best tonic; and for parents ’recovering from fever or other sickness it has no equal “He sleeps where he fell,” says a late ballad, which suggests that he must have been pretty drunk. Garfield, lowa.—Dr. A T. Henak says: “Once using Brown's Iron Bitters proves its superiority over all other tonic preparations. ” The boys in one of our grammar schools call their schoolma’am “Experience,” because she is a dear teacher.

FIGURES LIE.

Says the Graphic: “Out of an estimated population in the world of SBOO,000,000 people, 250,000,000 prefe their meat well done, 300,000,000 like it best rare, while the remaining 250,000,000 are not particular. ” Figures all wrong. At least 400,000,000 are bound not to be satisfied with it, anyhow.— Boston Post.

All the Asian authorities agree that if a profane skeptic should undertake to chop off or twist off the sacred tail of a genuine white elephant he would meet with sudden death. A like divinity doth hedge a mule.

*Many a sickly woman, whose sad experience had demonstrated alike the failure of conceited doctors and poisonous drugs, has obtained a new lease of life for a, few dollars’ worth of the Vegetable Compound and has gone on her way rejoicing and praising Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkham, of Lynn, The matinee masher at the theater is less useful than the potato-masher at home, and often is no prettier. Liver d seises, headache and constipation, caused by'bad digestion, quickly cured by Brown's Iron Bitters. It takes about 250 bushels of Irish potatoes to make a ton of starch. AS*The Diamond Dyes for family use have no equal All popular colors easily dyed, fast and beautiful Ten cents a package. Cattle trains should not be inn without cow-catchers. “Rough on Rats”-—Clears out rats, mice, flies, roaches, bed-bugs, ants, vermin, chipmunks. 15c.

Personal!—To Men Only!

The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich., will send Dr. Dye’s Celebrated ElectroVoltaic Belts aad Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of health and manly vigor. Address as above. N. B.— No risk is incurred, as thirty days’ trial is allowed. “Buchu-PaibjL”—Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, tl. The successful man has many imitators in his peculiar line of business, but still there is only one originator. So, also, the great petroleum hair renewer. Carboline, as now unproved and perfected, holds the palm against all imitators as a genuine article of -merit Try it Wells’ “Rough on Cobnb.”—lsc. Ask tor it Comniete.permanentcure. Corns,warts; bunions. THe most comfortable boot in town is that with Lyon’s Patent Metallic Heel Stiffeners. Skinny Men—“Well-*'Health Renewer” restores health and vlgor.cures dyspepsia,lmpotence.

to 1 n" r »| THE GREAT GERMAN. IW"1 REMEDY |ps| FOR PAIN. Believes end cures | gFjJll RHEUMATISM, ML, OiGLjH Neuralgia, Soiatica -Lumbago, BACKACHE, liMr '’-‘‘ill HEADACHE. TOOTH ACM, SORE throat, ‘ quinsy, swelling*, NPKAIN*. @ Soreness, Cuts, Bruises, wnmp Ml FROSTBITES, BURNS, «CALDS, | I And *ll other bodily aches I MdIMBHNb ■ I * nd p* lll *- 1| FIFTY CENTS A BOTTLE. ™ ■rli I. Sold by al 1 Drugciata end iHUkta unmaimilffii&iii'l HI Deulera. Directions In 11 tMI language*. I || The Charles A. Vogeler Co. M 80W jffllyuil!" HI ifcwwNU A.voozutuaco.) aShu.—-—~BA BatUuMM. EC. V. S. 3. ♦79 A WEEK- *l2 » day at homo easily made. Costly ♦I * outfit free. Address Tbuk It Co.. Augusta. Maine. Young Men CireuUn tree. VALENTINE BBQ*., Janesville, Wis. JTHE GREAT CUREIj a '■As it is fat all the painful diaeaem of the a KIDNEYS,LIVER AND BOWELS. S a It oleansse the system of the oat-id poison " • thst eauses Ute dmadfid sufihring which k • only the victim* of XhoamaUam can resiles. > I Of at. %SS?dMmm 1 « have been qulukly relieved, end in short time S • PERFECTLY CURED. b FUOL «l uqv»Oß Hl, Mia by BEixraim. £ < M- Dry can be sent fry aaell. 3 WYadAMCTAXDBONa&jjNmBngtenVt “

A WOMAN’S EXPERIENCE.

Mis. William Downs, of Uxbridge, Mass., writes on March 15.1888, u foUowa: “During ths past three yean I have been a great sufferer from a complication of diseases which baffled the skill of the most experienced doctors, as I could not obtain permanent relief by their treatment and prescriptions; and I have also tried many socalled cures in the medicine line, but could get no relief. The pains, aches and weakness increased so rapidly and constantly that I was so reduced in strength as to be unable to leave the bed. and the doctors informed me that there was no hope of a recovery. In this exhausted and discouraged condition a dear friend persuaded me to use Hunt’s Remedy, and after taking it only three days I commenced to get better, and to my great Joy and delight I have continued to improve constantly by its use, until now, after having taken the remedy only a few weeks, I am able to be about my bouse again, and am now doing my housework. My lame back is cured, the severe pains have disappeared, and I am now in better health than for many years, and beg this privilege of gladly recommending Hunt’s Remedy to all who are affected with any disease of the kidneys or liver; and I also highly recommend it for the attacks of sick headache. My husband also has experienced a very great benefit to his health, by the use of this most valuable medicine, Hunt’s Remedy.*

"OUR FLAG IS STILL THERE.”

Mr. 8. B. Longfillow, Augusta, Me., east aide river, writes us under date of April 15,1883: To whom it may concern: This may certify that two years ago I was very badly afflicted with kidney and urinary difficulties, which extended through the system and laid me vp for weeks, so that I could do no work. I had the most skillful physician in town ►ho gave me no assistance. Hearing of Hunt’s Remedy, I got a bottle and half of it cured me entirely, so that I haVe been well ever since. The other half I gave to a neighbor who was afflicted much aalwaa, and it restored him to health. I can truly say Hunt’s Remedy has been of great and inexpressible worth to me.*

HAS 13 TI»SUKMTOUM«or . IIICIDNEY DISEASES. ? ***. Dossalame beak or disordered urine Indi- * £ cate that you are a victim F THEN DO U § HESITATE; use Kidney-Wort at once, (drug- E ® gists reoommend it) and it will speedily over- " w come the disease and restore healthy action, o • | nrllAtt Vor complaints peculiar > 5 muMlvOi to your sex, such as pain U and weaknebees, Kidney-Wort is unsurpaaaed, . as it wUI act promptly and oaiMy. Either Bex. Incontinence, retention of urine, 2 brick dust or ropy deposits, and dull dragging C 0 pains, all speedily yield to its curative power. 2 to- SOLD BY ALL DBUOGISTe. Price SI. M

jffijjwOMAH OF W °MAN. RACEOT LYDIA E. PINKHAM’S VTOBTABLB COMPOUND. A Bare Cure far all FEMALE WEAKNESSES, Ineluding Leueerrbsea, Irregular and Painful Menstruation' InlammaXiou and Ulceration of the Womb* Flooding, PBO> LAPSUS UTERI. Are. QTPleaasat to the taste, efflesriooe and immediate In its effect It is a great help in jaagnaney, aaa reitovex pain during labor and *t regular period*. FinSICIAXB USE IT AXD FYIBCKIBI IT FUKLY. tVFon AU.WBAXXESSIS of the generative organs of either sex, it la second to no remedy that has ever been before the public; and for all dbeaoeo of the Knurxri it is the GreaUet Bemedytn the World. (JT" KIDNEY COMPLAINTS of Either Bex Find Great Belief in Ito Use. tWßoth the Compound and Blood Purifier are prepared at 233 and 233 Western Avenue, Lynn, l(psa. Price of either, fil. Six bottles for H. The Compound is sent by mall in the form of pills, or of loaenges, on receipt of price, |1 per box for either. Mrs. Pinkham freely answers all letters of inquiry. Inclose 3 cent stamp. Send tar pamphlet. Keatiae tMe Paper. O-Ltdu *. PimnuTn Lim Fuas cure Constipa, ttoHe Bilioußnesß and Torpidity of the Liver. ft cenUfc MT Sold hr nil DruggfaU.'Sß M ♦ E ♦ Oft per dav a* home. Samples worth AS free. $3 IO SZU Address Stinson k Co., Portland, Maine. Cura fnra&TpQepeyorFltslnMhonH. Free to poor, dll IB bill B °Db. Kjbume, 28H Arsenal BL, St. Louis, Mo. CUTTiiisoiifW by mall, a Goldca Box of Good,, that will Vrin* you in moro montv In Ono Month than anylhl.* ilm In Amtrlca. Alvoluto Certainty. M. Young, lit Grotnwlch 81., Now York.

AN OPEN SECRET AMONG THE LADIES The brilliant, fascinating tints of Complexion for which ladies strive are chiefly artificial, and all who will take the trouble may secure them. These roseate, bewitching hues follow the use of Hagan’s Magnolia Balm—a delicate, harmless and always reliable article. Sold bv all druggists. The Magnolia Balm conceals every blemish, removes Sallowness, Tan, Redness, Eruptions, all evidences of excitement and every imperfection. 1 Its effects are immediate and so natural that no human being can detect its application. la'lßlMlffEftMWßßßM

Ltoißadtialn. OKarnnz. ! “My doctor pronounced me cured, but I got rick Again with terrible pains in my back and tides, and I got so bad I Could not move! 1 shrunk! ‘ From 228 Iba to 120! I had been doctor** for my liver, but ft did me no good. I *M not expect to live more than three tosmttoa I began to use Hop Bitters. Directly ntys*petite returned, my pains left me, my ontire system seemed renewed as if by and after using several bottles I am notomly as sound as a sovereign but weigh mare than I did before. To Hop Bitters I ewe m Ute. Dublin, June 6, ’Bl R FmpAmoK. OHAPTRR 11. Neuralgia, female trouble, for years In the most terrible and excruciating manner No medicine or doctor could give toe relief or cure until I used Hop Bitters. “The first bottle Nearly cured me;* The second made me as well and strong an when a child. “And X have been so to this day. * My husband was an Invalid for yean with a serious “Kidney, liver, and urinary complaint “Pronounced by Boston’s best pbM“Incurable!” Seven bottles of your bitten cured him and I know of the “Lives of eight persons” In my neighborhood that have been save* by your bitten. And many more are using them with greed benefit “They almost Do miracles!” —Mrt. A. D. SUtck. How to Get Sick—Expose yourself day and night; eat too much without exercise; work too hard without re‘t; doctor all the time; take all tbe vile nostrums advertised, and then you will want to know Aow to g* well, which is answered tn three words— Take Hop Bitten ! PATENTS Full Iwitr action* tmA Band-book on Patent* eteUfroo. opiUMißs Acres finest of tana and coal Imh> m 8- ?• Ksnsss: * acre* in cultisea g w ration, 80 acres pasture, graaa and AGENTB WANTED ting Machine ever invented. WiU knit a pair at stockings with HEEL and TOE complete in 3® minutes. It will also knit a great variety of fan tv. work for which there ia always a ready market, ffeed HtoHS WMUt AU UMf mE H

vsea BEST RO AD CARTON EARTH 1 Write tor prices aipl terms to TOLEDO ROAD CART COMPANY. Toledo. Ohio. SIOOOREWARDa.*!** v>gilh JM.UHTRATFD Pampt.'rt mallrl FRRB. *PWMI iWI M . NEWARK MACHINE CO.W/ r > * NBWABK.O. . Ul THE -Wa y LIFE • a t-i ItTtlWm A Salvator for Invalid* and tho Ag*ct. Ao lncomparabl*Allmentforth*OrowtiiiuMi Protection of Infant* and Children. A Superior Nutritive tn Continued Fever*, and a Rellabl* R*m*dlal Agent In all Dl**a*** Of th* Stomach aaß * lnt**tln**o 2 ABLE POOP for’the Ucking swnetert No£ririm!mt t£r their* Unlike those prepamtiona mside from aalamA ar vinous matter, whtoh"2ro liable to stimulate the brain and irritate the digestive orgaae. It imkoii.i in its elementary eompoeiUon*That which mak** strong Bon* and Mtraokt That which make* good Fl**h and Blood. That which I* easy of Dlgectlon-neverooo-■tipatlng. That which I* kind and MewW -to th* Brain* and that which not* aa • preventive of those tnte*tlnal Olacrdsea incidental to-Chlldhood. And, while it would bo difficult to eoaeetsea* anything In Food or Dessert more Creamy andDeliolous, or moro Nourishing wad Strsncthenlßiaa on aliment in Fevers, Fulmonsry Dyspepsia and General Debility, its JUre McdiriwJ Excellence in all Intestinal Diseases, especially ta Dysentery, Chronic Diarrhoea and Chotam Infantum, . BAS BEEN INCONTESTABLY PBOVXB. in THt PRINCIPAL ™ UNITED »TXrt«. M-umji B.R-P.L. ‘ MO.BT-88. Imcv what medluiMa gay UumbMt. ■ IS—■■ . ~~