Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1883 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

If a man shoots a wig, does he bring down a hare? “Every man is not honest because he is poor.” He is more liable to be poor because he is honest. One of the laws of Moses: “I nefer - sell a coad unless I make ofer a sand per cent, profit, so hellup me gra- ; cions!” “De downfall ob a; hypocrite,” sayA Uncle Mose, “is enjoyed by all hypocrites demselves—ef dey doan b’longter de same church.” When you write a political letter, and it contains a political secret, be sum and Use violet ink, for then the secret will be kept inviolate. Uncle Reuben —“Yass, Ephrim, but yo should do as yo is done by. : ” Eph—. “Yass, Uncle Reuben, but dis chile hain’t never been done by!” Smash, smash, smash, Oh, china, rich and gay, For the pitcher will never be whole again. - That was smashed on moving day. 4. —Puck. A pint of whisky put in a fruit cake will keep it for six months, and the same amount put into a man will keep him down until 2 o’clock in the morning. A law prohibiting whistling in a graveyard has been passed by the Pennsylvania Legislature, and now what is a man to do to keep up his courage and frighten away spooks in that State? “My son,” said an American father, “how could you marry an Irish girl ?” “Why, father, I’m not able to keep two women. If I marry a Yankee girl I’d have to hire an Irish girl'-to take care of her.”— Household Hints. “The difference,” said Twistem, reflectively, “between a young married couple and an old gentleman rabbit, appears to me to be just this: One’s a happy pair and the other is a pappy hare.”— Pittsburgh Telegraph. Willie has a 4-year-old sister, Mary, who complained to mamma that her button sheet were hurting her. “Why, Mattie, you’ve put them on the wrong! feet.” Puzzled and ready to cry, sh<l made answer: ”What’ll I do, mam-l ma? They’re all the feet I’ve got.”—! Harlem Times. A teacher defining a transitive verlfl as one that expresses an action whiclfl is “passed over” from the doer, gave fofl illustration, “The dog wags his tail, fl Whereupon a youngster arose with thfl criticism: “Please, ma’am, the actiofl don’t pass over; it stays in the dog.-fl Boston Transcript. fl TO A LADY WITH HER BACK TO ME. I I know tby face is fresh and bright, fl Thou angel-molded girl, fl I caught one glimpse of angol white, ' ■ I saw one auburn curl. fl Oh, would the whispering ripples breathe ■ The thoughts that vainly strive! fl She turps—she.turns to look at me— ■ Black, cross-eyed, seventy-iive! ■ -0. W. Holmes. fl A poob woman applied to a gentl® man for alms, and when he put hfl hands in his pockets she exclaimed “Ah, my good sir, I perceive you fed for us!” “Yes,” replied the gentld man, “but my circumstances will nd permit me to do more than that. ”d Carl Pretzel's Weekly. d An Austin man has been thinlrilj seriously of running for Mayor of JS city at the next election, but he' hd given up the idea, upward of sixH voters having said to him: “Ad Colonel, if you only knew how mucid respect you!” “What then?” “Wed then, you would say: ‘Can’t I led you $5 ?’ ” On reflection, the Coloid has come to the conclusion that he hd serious doubts about being the profd man for so responsible an omced Texas Siftings. d

TRIOLETS. Banana peel. With upturned lift Walts for a heel To take a deal, Some one to feel Its iron grip. Tight-clothes,young gent. Intent on mash. On peeling went, His feet were sent . Toward firmament— An awful crash. Tlght-clothes young gent Swears bluish streak. A garment rent, A dollar spent. For ulster Tent, His home to seek. —Philadelphia Press. There is a story of a schoolmat who, on every available occasion, « quently denounced cruelty to animl One day, when out with his class boil izing, he saw at a distance one of] scholars catch a bird and immedial let it go. Radiant with pride and light at this proof of successful m teaching, he pointed out the noble li lad’s goodness to his school-fellows, hurrying up to him patted him on head and said: “So you restored poor little captive to his native 1 dom, my dear little child?” “Yes, so would you, too, if you’d been i returned the boy. “Look here wl the little beggar stuck his beak i me.”