Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 May 1883 — Josh Billings’ Guide to Health. [ARTICLE]

Josh Billings’ Guide to Health.

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into. Be honest, if you can; if you kant be honest, pray for health. Marry yung, and if yu make a hit, keep cool and don’t brag about it. Be kind to yure mother-in-law, and, if necessary, pas for her board at some good hotel. Bathe thoroly once a week in' soft water, kastell soap, and avoid tite boots. . Exercise in open air, but don’t saw wood until yu are obliged to. Lass every time ya feel tickled, and lass once in a while anyhow. Eat hash washing days, and be thankphull if you have to shut your eyes to do it. Hold the baby haff the time, and allwuss start the fire in the morning and put on the tea-kittle. Don’t jaw back—it only proves that yu are az big a phool az the other phello. Never borrow what yu are able to buy, and allwass have some things you won’t lend. Never get in a hurry; yu can walk a good deal further in a day thap yu can * Don’t sware; itmayoonvinoqju, but it is sure not to convince If yu have daughters, let'jfuf wife bring them, up; if she has got/common sense she'can beat all yure theories. , Don’t drink too much nu cider, and;, however mean yu may be, don’t abuse a kow. * IN a Bethlehem (Pa.) shop window are a pair of spun silk gloves, made in 1783, andthfty are almost a fao simile of another pair lying alongside and made in 1883. -