Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 March 1883 — A LITTLE SPICE. [ARTICLE]

A LITTLE SPICE.

The rule of Three—For the third person to clear out. If you should happen to want your ears pierced just pinch the baby. This style of dosing out at cost One given away with every subscription.— Hawkeye. Whenever a baby is born in Helena, Montana, the fire bells ring out to drown its shrieks of rage. A new reading by the Boston Transcript: “Every Man for Himself and the Devil take Herr Most” Pennsylvania Piety.—An old lady near Beading won’t let her husband visit that city since she read in the Bible that “Reading maketh a full man.” “No. Tabor is no longer a Senator; he’s paired with the woman from Oshkosh,” is the way in which a Chics go woman answered a civil question about the grert Colorado mushroom. Where they Grow.—Small boy of eight (looking ov°r picture book with small boy of ten): “What’s that?” 8. b. of ten: “Why, don’t you know? That’s a donkey. Haven’t you ever seen a donkey?” S. b. of eight (doubtfully): “Why, I have, lots of ’em; in the Theological Gardens, you know.” It has been demonstrated that soapbubbles can be blown to the size of two feet in diameter, and kept two days by making a preparation of oleate of soda and glycerine. This will carry joy into many destitute homes where heretofore it has been impossible to preserve a soapbubble longer than a few seconds. A house full of soap-bubbles two feet in diameter would alleviate a great deal of distress.—Norristown Herald. Heavy tragedian at railway hotel.— ‘Prithee, landlord, dwells there within the precincts of this hamlet a machinist?” Landlord.—“A machinist? Yes, sir.” Tragedian.— “Then take to him this bird of many springs. Bid him wrench asunder theee iron limbs, and then,for our regaleto chisel slices from its unyielding bosoiji, for we would dine anon. And, pray yon, do it quickly. Yon peas you need not carry, for those, with dextrous management, we can swallow whole. Away!”