Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 March 1883 — Pa as An Inventor. [ARTICLE]

Pa as An Inventor.

Peck’s Sun. “What’s your pa invented? , J saw a hearse and three hacks go up on your street the other day, and l thought may be you had killed your pa.” “Not much. There will be more than three hacks when I kill pa, and don’tyou forget it; Well, sjr, pa has struck a forune, if he can make the thing work. He has got an idea about coal stoves that will bring-him in several million dollars if he gets a royalty 6f 85 on every coal stove in the world. His idea is to have a coal stove on casters, with the pipe made to telescope out and in, and rubber hose for one joint, so you can pull the stove all around the room and warm any particular place. Well, sir, to hear pa tell about iV you would think it would revolutionize the country, and may be it will when he gets it perfected, but he came near burning the house up, and scared us half to death this morning, and burned his shirt off, and he is all qpvered with cotton with sweet oil on. and he smells like salad dressing. You see pa had a pipe made and some casters put on our. coal stove, and he tied a rope to the hearth of the stove, and had me put in some kindling.wood and coal last night, so he could draw the stove up to the bed and light the fire without getting up. Ma told him he would put his foot in it, and he told her to dry up, and let him run the stove business. He said it took a man with brain to run a patent right,and ma she pulled the clothes over her head and let pa do the fire act She had been buildigg fires for twenty years, and thought she would let pa see how good it was. Well, pa pulled the stove to the bed, and touched off the kindling wood. I guess may be I had got a bunch of kindling wood that the hired girl had put kerosene on, ’ cause it blazed up awful and smoked, and the blaze burst out of the doors and windows of the stove, and pa yelled fire, and I jumped out of bed and rushed in, and he was the scartest man you ever see, and you’d a dide to see how he kicked when I threw a pail of water on his legs and put his shirt out Ma did not get burned, but she was pretty wet, and she told pa that she would pay the 85 royalty on that stove and take the casters off and let it remain stationary. Fa says he will make it work if he burns the house down. I think it was real mean in pa to get mad at me because I threw cold water on him, instead of warm water, to put his shirt out. If I had waited until I could heat water to the right temperature I would have been been an orphan and pa a burnt offering. But some men always kick at everything. Pa has given up business entirely, and says he shall devote the remainder of his life to curing himself of the different troubles that I get him into. He has retained a doctor by the year and buys liniment by the gallon.”