Rensselaer Republican, Volume 15, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 March 1883 — A LITTLE SPICE. [ARTICLE]

A LITTLE SPICE.

Job never slopped over, but he boiled over once. The “fours of habit,” said )the gambler softly, as he dealt himself ell the aces in the pack. / Worth makes the man. [When Worth makes the dress he breaks /he man. A journal has been parted in New York called the Undertakers Assistant. Why not call it the Phyucian at once? A woman was offered 81,000 if sbf would remain silent for/two hours. A'* the end of fifteen minutes she asked: “Isn’t the time nearly up?” and thus lost A Pittsburg firm has Drought out a new masculine hat, which they have christened the “Jersey Lily J’ It wouldn’t be economy to invest in such a hat It is to easily “mashed.” Wife—Can’t you take me to the Blank restaurant some evening, my dear? > Husband —No, darling, it. is disreputable. Wife—Then, dear, why do you bring home its marked napkins in your pockets. “Should regular physicians consult with homeopathists?” is a conundrum occupying no little attention. By all means, that while they are consulting their patients may be restored to health. A young lady wrote to the Philadelphia News, inquiring: ‘ How can I avoid being addressed if I waU| out at night without a protector?” The experienced editor of that paper tartly Replied: “Wear an old shawl and carry a clothes basket”

A little boy went into the parlor where his sister was being courted, and said: “Brother Tom told me to ask you what was the date otyour last bus th, for he can’t find to-day’s paper, high or low, and he left it in your room just before supper. “Phew, times are hard! Now I have 30,000 francs a year, and it is all I can do to make bdth ends meet!” “Thirtythousand francs a year and hard up! Why Lhave barely a third of the sum and yet*— “Oh, I know, but then you have a wife ami family, and so you can get along.” / • A boojk, lately published in Paris, is entitled “/The New Guide of the Conversation in < Portuguese and English, * by Pedro says :/ “We expect, then, who the little book/(for the case what we wrote him, and/ for her typographical correction) thafimay be worth the aoception of the studious persons, and especially of the yor|th, at which we dedicate him particularJjy.” / Turkey is about to settle all the American claims for arms. 1