Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 September 1882 — The Lime-Kiln Club. [ARTICLE]

The Lime-Kiln Club.

After Samuel Shin had struck the triangle the usual six strokes, and Pickles Smith had got his dog made fast to the club safe, the President arose and asked; MAm Judge Staveaway Bulger in the hall dis eavnin’ ?” “He are,” was the answer from a spot near the water pail. “Den I would like to have you step for’d to de desk.” The Judge advanced with apprehension in his eyes and his knees knocking together, and when he had reached the desired position Brother Gardner continued. • “Brudder Bulger, I iz reliably informed dat a stirgeon picked twenty-two bird shot outer your back de odder day.” “ Y-yes, sah.” “ An’ I iz furder informed dat de said shot struck you while you war’ gallopin’ down an alley on the Cass farm,” “ J- ist so, sah. ” - - “An’ de las’ information-am to ae effect dat you didn’t git de chickens you war’ after.” “Chickens!” “ Yes, chickens! When I say chickens I doan’ mean calves. A sartin white man was watohin* a sartin hen-roost. A pusson to him unknown climbed de fence to accumulate poultry, but took fright an’ started on a run. De gun went off arter him, an’ some of it cotched him. Brudder Bulger, has you anyfing to say befo’ de Committee on Harmony leads you to the head of the sta’rs an’ lets you drap ?” “ I reckon I has, sah. I doan’ deny dat I was shot in de back, an’ I admit dat it war in an alley, but it was done by a boy who was out huntin* rabbits. Yes, sah, an’ he’s dun begged my pardon an’ axed my forgiveness, an’ he’s gwine to pay all de expenses. ” “ Brudder Bulger, what am de name of dat boy ?” “I—l has dun forgot, sah.” “ Am night de time to hunt rabbits?” “ Dat’s de werry best time to hunt some kinds, sah.” “ An’ jjpu wasn’t arter chickens ?” “ Chickens I Why, de werry name of chicken makes me sick. I was lookin’ arter my knife in de alley, an’ I didn’t find it.” The President scratched his ear for a minute, and then said : “I’d like a wote of de club on*dis queshun. Secretary, call de roll.” The roll was called, and the vote stood: Guilty, 51; not guilty, 55. Elder Toots, being asleep, did not vote, and Samuel Shin asked to be excused on the ground that he loved the Judge’s half-sister. “ Brudder Bulger, de club says not guilty,” observed the President, “Imt it am such a powerful close shave dat I deem it my dooty toweinyoudat de nex’ time anybody goes out rabbit huntin’ an’ takes you fur a rabbit, your place in dis club will be declar’d vacant in a tone of voice dat will make de cold chills canter cl’ar up to de back of,yer neck ! We will now confiscate to’rcu de reg’lar order of bizness.”— Free Press. Baltimore has a population of aWout 840,000, and a church membership of 177,f.89. The Roman Catholic Ohiirch leads, with a membership of 110,000. The Methodists come next, with 28,642; then the Lutherans, with 11,474; Protestant Episcopalians, 8,561 ; Baptists, 6,387; Presbyterians, 4,995 ; Reformed, 4,109; Friends, 1,003.