Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 September 1882 — The Quick Pantaloons. [ARTICLE]

The Quick Pantaloons.

There is no one thing that shows the falling off in American brain so much as thfehubit certain young star-spangled Americans have of blindly following fashions in dress. And among all the fashions that are ludicrous there is none tfjat makes a man with brain so tired as the tight pants that are being worn by some of the society ducks. Adnan who has a leg that is big seen with the naked eye can induu r >n reas-onably-tight pants and not mania show ok himself; but for a youni i -.hasher whose leg is about the size of,° Jistern pole and the shape of a lath ide fer'se it ,in a covering of. gaudily-colore Incase material is too-too. A young n Jailed on a sarcastic girl a few eveniri&s since, hit legs done up in the tightest of pants* legal and she looked very sad and her eyes had a far away look. He asked her what it was that caused her to be troubled. She looked at his large, generous, fiddle-bok feet and said she had been "wandering how he got his feet through „iqfr'legfe, whether he unscrewed them apd took them off, or whether there was hinge in the ankle so he could straighteh them out. At a picnic a young man wath tight green pants was lying under "S tree, -when a farmer who had brought some milk to the picnickers took a stick and struck one of the legs real hard. The young man felt hurt and jumped to his feet, demanding an explanation. The former said he saw it lying there and thought it was a striped snake. There are many things the small legs and tight pants could bo used for, if the slimness is going to remain in fashion for any length of time. If a tip could be arranged to fasten on the foot, and a reel could be strapped on the thigh, and little loops could be made along the legs to run a line through, the fashionable young gent could use his leg for fishing tackle. To see a couple of the slim legs in the office of a hotel, among other fairsized legs, one thinks of a couple of stalks of asparagus, and wonders how a vine would look climbing up the legs. "What a place such legs would be lor string beans to cling to. But there is one thing such pants are good for. No ant can crawl up such a pair of trousers, to make life a burden to the wearer. There is always much sympathy expressed to the owner of condensed legs, incased in gun covers. There is a feeling that the owner of them is in danger of having them broken off by a dog running against them, or failing over a wheelbarrow, or something, and the wearers are treated with much tenderness. A young feilow called on a matron recently, and took a seat on a wooden camp chair that happened to be in the reception room. The good lady looked at the suffering caller and said : “ Now take a seat in this stuffed chair. I know that hard chair will scrape the veneering off of your pipe stems.” Buch remarks are uncharitaole, and ladies should remember that young men have feelings. —Peck'* Sun. In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eat about twice as much as nature requires.— Franklin.