Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 June 1882 — Page 3

FOR THE LADIES.

The coarser the ficelle lace the bet* ter it is liked. Any neat utility costume will do for a traveling suit. fthfre is a rags in New Yorkjfor smMl jet beaded Fanctyon bonnets! £ Voiret is to constitute one of the most fashionable of Hammer Mm* mings. * Street costumes and walking suits should never be made with pannier draperies.,, —& Worth says that only one woman in five pays her dressmaker’s bills without being dunned. Next to dark green and royal blue, the favorite color for street wear is the new shade of golden brown. For evening wear, extra long, buttonless gloves, in Saxe or Swedish kid, are more* popular than asy others. A lace pin with the wearers monogram in tiny diamonds and emeralds is among the elegant novelties in Jewelry. A toilet that recently attracted much attention in Paris had yellow birds clustered on the shoulders and in the hair. Ladies with aesthetic tastes are having dresses made of Madras muslin window curtains in oriental designs and colors. Bidiculously high prices are now paid for old gold or silyer chatelaines, trinkets and jewels of any kind showing a genuine stamp of antiquity. Black velvet dog collars, fastened under the chin with tiny gold or silver clasps set with mock gems, are worn with both day and evening costumes. Feathers and flowers are used in profusion by French modistes, and painted ribbon and painted lace add greatly to the elegance of dress bonnets and hats. Sleeveless vests, opening from the waist on a waistcoat, are very fashionable, but they always require either a large collar in etamine and embroidery or a full lace jabot. “Women are so contrary,” said Blobbs; “I thought when I got married my wife would darn my socks and let me alone; instead of that she lets my socks alone and darns me."— [Wheeling Journal. Fencing is being introdnoed among indoor amusements for jroung women. It is said to give more grace of movement and pose than any exercise, not even excepting dancing. A pair of good foils can be 1 ought for $2. An English lady who sued for damages because of a fall when boarding a steamboat has just lost her case. The jury decided that her high-heeled boots had wantonly and wilfully contributed to cause the irjury of which she complained. The prettiest shoulder capes this season are cut quite plain across; the back, fitting the shoulders -perfectly, but in front they are laid in loose easy folds across the chest, fastened together about the sixth button from the throat with a bow and by long ends of watered silk ribbon.

To fix bonnet strings, many elegant pins are devised; notably, two arrows lied with a ribbon, a small umbrella in pearls with diamond handle, running hounds, owls’ heads, and sets of five sparrows strung on a silver thread. Besides these there are eggs represented by pearls in a nest. Some attention was paid to cosmetics in the fourteenth century. Here’s a genuine recipe of that date: "For to make a woman’s neke white and softe: tak fresh swynes grees molten, and hennes grees and the whites of egges half rested, and do thereto a little popyl mele, enoynt hir therewith ofte.” New tea gowns have straight redinf;otes, with short skirts deeply folded n plaits in front and box-plaited behind.. White camel’s hair is a favorite fabric for these gowns, with coliar, cufis and sash, also bows of bronze green, copper-red, or sapphire-blue velvet. Embroidery in the material is also used for the trimming. A triumph of aesthetic art in dress is shown in a robe of royal blue velvet, short in tbe waist, with open square at the neck, filled in with a chemisette of tulle. Over the plain flowing velvet train is draped a tunlo of old Mechlin lace, oaught up, here and there, with golden- hearted marguerites and sprays of hawthorn. The last fashion in menus is a horn shaped bag in paper, on which Lb written the name; from the inside peep out three rosebuds. As an invitation to dinner, little cards are sent with a tiny gilt table engraved upon them; should the invite be for tea, a teapot stands on the table; underneath merely appears the date,and signature. Colored riding habits are revived for hunting by English women. Green-faced with white and,brightened with silver braid and buttons, or bright red cloth with black velvet facings and gold buttons, are the favorite colors for habits, while the hat of felt is cocked or turned up in three corners and trimmed with feathers and a rosette. Black silk stockings, reserved for morning wear are dotted with red or blue butterflies, with yellow antennae. For evening white lace stockings are embroidered with gold and silver stars of tiny silken florettes. Dressy shoes have remarkably short toes, closely beaded; they are made in white or black or black satin, or in the material of the dress itself.

SAID TO BE FUNNY.

Man is never to old to learn—mischief. The gold-miner gets his beer by quartz. A corn dodger—A man who avoids wearing tight boots. “That’s what beats me, remarked a boy as he passed a pile of shingles. The Pasha was compelled t 6 sub-mit,therebeiirg-no other way* Tew-" fiks it. Florida has something to cry over. It js an opion that measures fourteen inches.' ' 1 «. f Why would coal-dealers make good lawyers? Because they know all about coke and Little ton., Brink, says an exchange, weakens the system. Yes, but just think how it strengthens the breath Miss Dickson is a noble-hearted woman, say what they will. She is always ready to take a man’s part. Doctor examine my tongue and tell me what it needs,” said a good woman, “It needs rest,” answered the truthful doctor. Jessie James evidently deserved his death, for when he shot he had his boots on and was standing on one of his wife’s best chairs. Farmer—Yes, when a farmer is hauling silo on his farm with a donkey, and the boys make fun of him. it is silo, jack, and the game. A little boy came to bis mother recently and said: I should think that if I was made of dust I would get muddy inside when I drink.” For Athenians only: Sarah Bernhardt’s marriage to a Greek is no matter of wonder. She is herself a thinny I ’un.—Louisville Courier-Journal. Down in Texas, when they want to express loathing ror a man they say he’s mean enough to hand a pint bottle filled with water to a friend on a dark night. “Bridget, I cannot allow you to receive your lover in the kitchen any longer.” “It’s very kind of you, ma’anr, but he’s almost too bashful to come into the parlor.” Two men in Norwich have been fined S2O each for forcing a boy to drink whiskey. The penalty seems severe, but Norwich is determined to guard against wilful waste,—Danbury News.

"What did you say the conductor’s name was?” "Glass—Mr. Glass.” "Oh no!” "But it is.” "Impossible —it can’t be.” "And why not, pray?” /Because, sir, Glass is a non-conduct-or.” [Deafening applause from the scientific passengers. ] "Rubbing a bald head daily with a fresh raw onion will make the hair grow out again.” Nature can stand a good deal, but when it comes to such treatment she throws up the sponge, and would start a crop of peacockfeathers if the owner desired it. -• Gus De Brown, who has prolonged his call considerably after 10 ;45 p. m.: "Bo you don’t admire men of conservative views, like my self Miss Angel?” Miss A., with vivacity: "No Indeed; I prefer people who have some go in them.”; De B. reaches for i his hat. It’s funny, but a soft-palmed wo- | man can pass a hot pie-plate to her nearest neighbor at the table with a smile sweet as distilled honey; while a man with hand as horny as a crocodile’s back will drop it to the floor and howl around like a Sioux Indian at a scalp-dance "Do you pretend to have as good a Ijudgmentasl have?” exclaimed an enraged wife to her husband. "Well, no,” he replied slowly: "our choice of partners for life shows that my judgment is not to be compared with yours.” The temperance people are agitated because Mr. Tennyson in his song asks his friends to drink to freedom. It may be well to comfort these agitat ed people by supposing that the place at which Mr. Tennyson proposes to drink has taken out a poetical license. At a high-school examination, the teacher asked the son of an old icedealer how many ounces there were in a pound. And the boy said it depended on tbe extent of the crop, the length of the summer, and the heat of the weather, varying from five and a half to eleven and three quarters, but never reaching as high as sixteen. /What harm has the lad doneSyou ?” asked an old gentleman, roughly collaring a boy who was warming the jacket of another urchin with a bit of wild gr*pe vine. "He ain’t done me no barm.” "What are you thrashing him for then?” "’Couse nis father and mother never licks him, and I’m a doin’ it for charity.” A man living near Burlington, Vt., recently got divorces from his wife, whom neijDQW employs as hired girl, but he can’t see what he gains by the operation. She demands $8 a week, the washing sent out, three nights and an afternoon off, besides the privilege ofhaviageompany in the kitchen and now threatens to leave if he does not introduce into the house all the modern improvements. There is a proposition to pass a law making it an indictable offense for an individual to send out a Polar expedition, unless he goes himself. The practice of hiring good sailors to go off and freeze to death at sl6 a month, while it proves a good advertisement for tbe fellow who hires them, is pretty tough on the families of those who never come back. Hereafter let none but bachelors go after the North Pole.

i ELSCKLIAKEOUS. * Queen Victoria gets $6,370 a day. South Australia has a population o 279,866. # 'I Fifty Francisco Hebrews are Jawyers.|3 > French Jhilroads earned last year. y, -re. M ; New York City has jpkid $13,000,00) for a park. There are 9,955,616 families in the United States. ■■■-—-——■ ■ Cadet Whittaker is announced to lecture in Buffalo. Cigar wrappers are now made pf peach tree leaves. Pittsburgh will never make a success of glass shingles. In New York city the opium ha&lt has 76,900 victims. Chinese type-setters are a new San Francisco wrinkle. The Hungarian vineyards have been badly nipped. “Five hours sleep are enough,” says a New York doctor. Germans are gradually becoming the bakers of London. Wm. H. Vanderbilt recently (.aid $20,000 for a diamond. The crop outlook In the I->-* v west is exceedingly favorable. Over 90,000 immigrants landed at New York during May. A 1 bama’s oat crop, just harvested, was the largest for years. Ohio Democrats want Thurman to run for Secretary of State. James Gordon" i nett is the richest bachelor in America. A journey around the world now takes about ninety days. They are trying to substitute celluloid eyes for glass eyes. Large plain gold hoop ear-rings are the latest craze in jewelry.

Several stores in New Yorx sells worms for angling purposes. The Mississippi negro will sell his shirt for a first watermelon. Lincoln Park, Chicago, is to have r. S4J ,000 Lincoln Monument. Many Texas wheat fields yield bushels to the acre this year. King Milan, of Servia, is a heavy built man, with a broad face. Skim cheese has more than twice the nutrient power of fresh beef. The new Union League Club building in Chicago will cost $50,000. Kentucky breeders are paying more attention of late to saddle horses. There is a Bt. Louis man who has not laughed In twenty-six years. The coinage of the Philadelphia Mint during May was $6,682,400. Stock-breeders and barkeepers agree that there is profit in short horns. Ten elephants escaped from a menageria of New Jersey a few days ago. Miss Belle Braden is the only feminine railroad officer in the country. Thomasville is growing to be the great wool market of southern Georgia. The sunrise and sunset guns fired by the United States cost $18,250 a year. Bashful young men should address their sweethearts with sealed proposals. A little Philadelphia girl defined memory as the thing people forget with. At least a thousand pearl divers are working on the lower California shore. The whogesale trade in New York is said to be usually dull and unsatisfactory. The hello of the telephone brigade is now beard in the halls of Montezuma. The Shore Line road, in Connecticut, has one car especially to carry shad. A Brooklynite has made $1,000,U00 by buying and utilizing dead animals. With modern appliances five men can make a locomotive complete in a year. Mr Gladstone is still younger by seven years than Palmerston when Premier. Enormous quantities of blueflsh are beiug caught in the Great South bay, Long island. Tallahassee’s vegetable shipments amounted this season to 3,701 crates and barrels. The Saturday Review does not remember a single mention of cats in Holy Writ. ; •, Watermelons from the West Indies are selling in New York at 50 and 76 cents each. Mr. John O’Connor, the Postmaster General of Canada, is a native of Boston. The quarrying interest in East Tennessee has doubled within the lapt seven yeais. Polished manners and graceful courtesy are keys which rarely fail to unlock a woman’s heart. •Railroad property in Georgia increased two and a quarter million dollars in value last year.

SELECTED MISCELLANY.

Eveir unpleasant feeling is a sign that I have become untrue to my res* • >1 ution,-Richter. Pain must enter into its glorified life of memory before it can turn into compassion—George Elliot. f j / ( . If we festen our attention on wfaa r we have, rather thau on what we lack, a very little wealth is suffleent. A fine compliment was once paid to Isaao Newton,. A letter was addressed to “Mjr. Newton*Europe.”ltipund him. ■ , . f: • j As there is nothing in the world, great but man, therels nothing trait great in man but character.-W. W. Evarts. ;* • • > A couplet of verse, a period prose, may ding to the Rook of , ages as a shell that survives a deluge,—Bulwer Litton. There must have been fast young men in the days of old Cicero. He said, ’To live long it is neoeasary to live slow.” Marriage is the best state for man in genenu; and every man is a worse man in proportion as he is unfit for the married state. Treat an evil companion with “skilled negligence” and you will never have to bear the curses that come home to roost. The only way by which capital can increase is by saving. If you spend as much as you get, yon will never be richer than you are. Flattery is the destruction of all good fellowship; it is like a 1 qualmish 1 quor in tne midst of a bottle of good wine.—Beaconsftald. Conduct is the greatest confession. Behavior is tile perpetual revealing of us. What a man does tells us what he is.—F.D. Huntington. A ceremony is the invention of wise men to keep fools at a distance, so good breeding is an expedient to make fools and wisemen equal. Weakness is the egotism of goodness. When one hope departs the other hopes gather moie closely together t o hide the gap it has left Earnestness is the path to immortality, thoughtlessness the path to death. Those who are in earnest do notfdie; those who are thoughtless are as it dead already. Something is due courtesy at all times and in all places, but the obligations of civility are doubly binding where it has been taught as a part of good breeding. “I have seen the world,” says a sagacious writer, „and after long experience have discovered that ennui is our greatest enemy, remunerative labor our most lasting friend.”

Lost, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward ki offered, because they are gone forever.—Horace Msnn. The grandest and strongest natures are not the calmest. A fiery restlessness is the symbol of frailties not yet outgrown. The .epose of power is its clearest testimony* Who ever heard of slandering a bad man? Who ever heard of counterfeiting a bad note? Blander, as a rule, is tbe revenge of a coward. It is generally tbe best people wh6 are injured in this wfcy. Tiie practical danger which beseu the poet, and, indeed all esthetic aud literary men, of becoming uureal, is, if that truth which they see aud cultivate for artistic purposes, they never try to embody in any form of practical action and common purpose with their fellow men.—J. C. Shairp. Some men seem to have a constitutional inability to tell the simple truth. They may not mean to lie, or to tell an untruth, but they are careless, careless in hearing, careless in understanding, careless in repeating what is said to them. There wellmeaning but reckless people do mors mischief than those who intentionally foment strife by deliberate falsehood. There is no firebrand lik£ your well-meaning busybody who is continually in search of scandal, aud by sheer habit missquotes everybody’s statements. It must,however be granted that Mr. MacDonald is an unequal writer ; indeed, inequality is of tbe very essenseof a genius which manifests itself for tbe most part in spiritual vision .Such a geuiusmay in itself hr constant, but its highest developments are leashed only in favorable moods; and when the mood is absent, the imaginative product is apt to strike the reader as being somewhat thin and unsatisfactory. Mr. MacDonald is the very reverse of a literary hack, it is absolutely impossible to put his whole strength iuto work whioh is, as the phrase has it, "writ, ten to order’, that is written in the absence of a dominating productive impulse.—The Academy. Ancient history speaks of two brothers, one of whom, found guilty of a heinous crime, web condemned to death , and about to be led forth to execution; the other, patriotic and brave, had signalized himself in the service of his country, and had lost a hand in pbtainlng an illustrious victory for the State. Just as the sentence of condemnation was pronounced upon this unhappy.brothet, he entered the court,and silently raised his liaudless arm in view of all. Tbe Judge saw it, arrested the execution and pardoned the guilty one for the sake of the sufferings of his heroic brother. So may not our elder Brother, as he appears in our nature before the throne, silently and efficientplead for us by the very scars he bears?—W. Ormiston.

Two Thousand.

Justice Mayes, the famous marrying Squire, whose readiness with the words which bind is known to every pair of youngsters ‘yearning to be one within a radius of several States, ten days ago celebrated his two-thous-andth marriage. His official signsnature pqw stands at the bottom cf 2,003 marriage certificates, and 4;006 people have stood up before him and thought his plain words the paost eloquent and musical In the language, Irthe domestic hearthstones which he .had created, were piled together they wodld make a very reanectabl quarry; if all the hSppluetwAe had occasioned could but rewound to his own heart, he would be blest above mortals; obuld the divorce feel he has laid the foundations for return to his own pocket, his children’s children might still have .a comfortable patrimony. Marital affection seems to be indiSnious to the soil hereabouts. Tbe wn itself was christened by its founder, Rabert Humphrey, as far back as 1766, after the maiden name of his wife, Margaret Alexander. The marrying Justice himself has not esoaped the Infeetion, or perhaps has been a physician not afraid to take his own medicine. The lady who now presides over his household is his third wife. The town itself lean unpretentious little place, a quiet, old pike town, wearing but few architectural adornments in the way of wedding finery. It is situated in the line of the old National Pike. Its neighboring town, Claysville, helps in a modest way to perpetuate the memory of the Kentucky statesman to whose broad, public spirit the great thoroughfare of former days owes its existence. Joseph Finley Mayes is now close to 66 years old, but oarries his winters lightly. The frosty rime is on his brow and chin, but his voice is cheery and his tongue as ohipper as ever. He has been so much a public feature recently tnat bis history as a desendaut of a line ofknot-tyers is pretty well known. He has now been holding the office of Justice of the peace exaotly twenty years. He has compiled the reoora of his matrimonial work in periods of five years, during the first five years he married 293 oouples: the second.39o: tbe third* 607; the fourth, 834. the record shows the names of the contracting parties, the dates and the tee given for each marriage. Up to the present time Squire Mayee has received for performing marriage ceremonies the sum of $9,262,14, or an average of $8,12)4 P er oouple during the term of twenty years. The fee allowed by law was $2 up to 2865. when it was increased to SB. About half a dozen oouples paid nothing, some paid the regular fee, and others paid aa high as $5, $lO, and one party was so liberal as to fork over a S2O bill. The lowest amount received,as shown by the ledger, was 10 cents. Most of theeouples married here are from West Virginia and Ohio, of course, where the lioense fee is a tax upon matrimony. The Justice shrewdly puts out tne intiolng advertismeut. “No marriage leoense required in Pennsylvania,” and incloses his card. The young couple show it to their friends of course and so the trade is fostered. Thirty oouple of the 2,000 were colored. Fifty of the men made happy were named Smith, and thirtytwo of these were baptized John. Fourteen of the ladies did not ohange their names. Business has ranged in briskness from six couples in one day to several days without any. The two thousandth couple arrived at West Alexander on Saturday, the 13th lust They were Christopher C. Sprowts and miss Martho Defora Martin, both of Beuwood, Marshall” County, W. Va. “I received a letter from a business firm in Wheeling, to be presented, with an accompanying package, to be presented, with an accompanying package, to the two thousandth oouple married by me. I delivered the package and letter which ran thus:

"Wheeling,W. Va„ May 13,1882.To the Happy Two Thousandth Groom—Dear Bur: Accept our congratulations, and with the same a box of our smoking and chewing tobacco. Wishing you and your new wife long life, happiness, and prosperity, we are, etc.. Much more the genial Justice said, never tiring in his talk about what has been the principle business of his life, and when your correspondent said good-by the old man waejamenting,"Business is very dull, I hayen’t married a couple since day befor yesterday.”— Pltsburg Dispatch. Two soldiers of the royal Artillery stationed at Mauritius went out for an excursion along the shore in a little skiff. They were caught in a strong current, ana carried out into the Indian Ocean, where they drifted about for nine days without food or anything to drink except rainwater. Oue eventually died from exhaustion, the survivor was. at last thrown on to the odast of the island of Reunion, aud was properly eared for by the ConsuL They fed on flying flan, and Ming followed all the way by monster sharks, who were nearly level with the boat,must have had a terrific time of It. Vaccination properly conducted is now unquestionably the best preventive of small pox epidemics.. But it must be remembered that impure lymph may charge the body with disdiseases which make life a prolonged misery to which death itself is preferable. If physicians could be held to a s ? rioter accountability there would be little trouble in making the practice of vaccination more general. It is announced that the recent warm weather has much reduced the discouraging outiook for the Illinois corn crop.