Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 April 1882 — Water, Water' Every where [ARTICLE]

Water, Water' Every where

A man with a rubber overcoat,dripp’ng with water,during a rain storm got in a street car and sat down a few days since. The seats were those wooden ones that have not got holes perforated in them. After sitting about five minutes a beautiful young lady came in, and the rubber man got up and gave her his seat. She smiled and thanked him, and sat down,and kept smiling for a minute, when a fearful chauge came over her face. First it was surprise, then paine then indignation. There was at least six quarts of water on the car seat, which had dripped from the good man’s coat, and as at began to penetrate her ciothing her thoughts turned on emersion as a means of Grace, and she wanted to see the rubber man thrown into the river with a stope tied to his neck. Sponge bustles,being out of style it was impossible for the girl to absorb all the water, so some of it ran along the seat to where an old lady was sitting and as the car tipped a little some more of the water ran to the other side where a young man sat who had on a pair of lavender high water pants. The old lady felt that the freshet had reached her vicinity, it was evident bydhe way she twitched around, and the young man suddenly gave a *, sigh,” such as one gives vent to when taking a bath with the water too cold. The young man did not know about the water, and feeling his extremities becoming cold he thought he had an attack of spinal meningitis. The girl just sat there and looked mad, the old lady looked resigned,but when the water continued along the car seat and struck at the foundation of our free institutions by sinking into a pol'oeman, there He knew where it came from’and he felt that the rubber man was guilty of assault’and getting up with his hand on his pistol pocket he told the rubber man that he ought to be arrested. The rubber man was frightened and got out of the car, and the piliceman pulled up his coat agdwiped oft the water, and told the old lady and the young girl and the meningetis young man that tjiey were liable to take their de dh of cold They all lot ked surprised, when he told them that he was sitiing in six inches of water that had come off that old fraud’s rnbber coat, but they insisted that they were perfectly dry but the driver says when they got off the car they all walked as though there was a world that was fairer than this, and he offered to bet us six dollars that every last one of them put on dry clothes as soon as they got home,but bless you, we wouldent bet a cent. Of.course we endorse wa ter as a beverage, and all that but when you come to use it as a cushion for a car seat, that is carrying it altogether too far. There should be temperance even in the use of water. The girl was telling another girl about it’ at the theater, while the music was playing the other ni-ht, and as the music suddenly changed from a crashing noise to a soft mellow flute solo, we heard the girl say, ’’Well' I fell just as though I should have to run through a clothes wringer, and you ought to have seen” At this point she realized that she was being heard, and began to talk about Oscar Wild or something dry.—Peck’s Sun.