Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 March 1882 — Handling a Tennessee Crowd. [ARTICLE]

Handling a Tennessee Crowd.

A Michigan man who has a patent windmill went down to Tennessee last fall to see whr t he could do among farmers of that state. Reaching a town iu the central part of that state, he went to a dealer in agricultural imElements and stated his desire to erect is machine and call attention to it. “Well, it can be done, I guess,” was the reply. “But how had I best proceed?” “Well, you kin put her up over on the hill thar. I don’t know owns the ground, but if you treat the crowd I guess no one will object.” “Very well.” ' “Next Tuesday is market-day, and there’ll be heaps of folks in town. You want: to be around early|gand treat the crowd.” “Yes.” “Set the old thing goin, and ask th boys over to drink something.” “Just so.” “You want to stand on a bar’l and make some explanations, of course, for it will be new to the most of ’em. But don’t talk too long. Make it about ten minutes, and then treat the crowd.” “Yes.” “If you have to talk any more, tell ’em there’s another drink ahead.” “I see.” “If the old man Jones comes in with his boys there’ll be a row in the crowd. They shoot on sight. Keep your eye peeled, aud if you see any signs of a row ask the whole crowd out to diiuk.” “Yes, but—” “Lookout for dog fights. If one takes place you can’t hold the boys a minute. Keep your eye on the canines. If you see a yaller purp begin to bristle up, ask the crowd to step over and moisten.” “ Yes,6but by that time the whole will be drunk,” protested the agent. “Sartin it will, and that’s what you want, of course. That will give you a chance to skip out and take your life along with you, and if you make stop anywhere within a hundred miles I’ll send the windmill by freight —provided there’s anything leit to send! Nothing like knowing how to handle a Tennessee crowd, my friend Did you ask me out to take sunthin V