Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 March 1882 — WANTED HOUNDING. [ARTICLE]

WANTED HOUNDING.

An Enterprising ’Frisco Han’s Scheme to Ifcep up His Credit. He was a gentlemanly and affable looking man who walked into the managing editor’s room of the San Francisco Post and quietly took a chair until that accomplished journalist had finished an editorial with tha scissors. ■ 'jWfiat can we do for you?” asked the editor, finally, replacing the paste brush behind his ear. - “Haven’t brought in a poem on autumn?” he continued, frowning suspiciously. “Not at all. my dear sir.” replied the stranger, with a smile. “I trust I don’t look like a poet. I have dropped in to consult you on a practical business proposition.” Ah! an advertisement!” said the journalist, benignautly. “Something in the‘star ad’line, I suppose?” “In a certain sense, yes,” replied the business man. “I want to know your best inside rates for hounding.” “For what?” asked the writer. “Why, for hounding. I should like to be thoroughly well-hounded in your paper for the next—say three months, if it didn’t come too high.” “Whatthe dev—” “Permit me too explain,” interrupted the matter-of-fact customer“l am an attentive reader of the locapapers, and I notice that whenever a man, a corporation, or a monopnly has a streak of luck, or gets to making money rapidly, the said papers immediately “jump on his neck,” as the saying is, and hound the successful person or persons as though he or they were escaped convicts, or something like that.” “You mean our blackmail contemporaries?” said the editor, vindictivedon’t think they blackmail anybody in particular,” said the stranger, thoughtfully; “that is, not nowadays. The people seem to have ‘dropped to to it,’as the hoodums say; butthat isn’t the point that affects me. The point is, that of course these papers never hound anybody who hasn’t got dead loads of coin. Everybody recognized that fact, and the result is that the minute they start in against a man his credit goes right up.” “I begin to drop,” said the moulder of public opinion scratching his head- ‘ Why, of course. It’s a dead sure proposition; so it occurred to me, as my business has been dreadfully bad this year, that I’d either have to brace up my credit or go under. I’ve got to do it or bust. Now if I can arrange for your paper to come out to-morrow afternoon with a slashing article accusing me of being a grasping monopolist or a bloated corruptionist, or some thing else rich and comfortable, it would aDout fix me up.” “It’s a big idea,” said the editor, calmly; “and you’d better go down and see the business manager at once. I’ll write an editorial myself calling attention to you as a bigamist and a swindler of orphans and widows.”

“Do, so” exclaimed the far-seeing man, as he rose to go. “Whatever you do, don’t spare me, gentlemen. Give it to me strong. I’ve got a $12,000 note to meet on the 17th. so you must get your work in at once.” “I’ll attend to it,” said the editor, earnestly. “I’ll work over your early career myself, and have three- or four affidavits accusingyou of bribery and brutality ready for next Saturday’s double sheet. I’ll send our most sarcas tic reporter round to interviewyou, bright and early Monday morning.” “Thanks! thanks!” said the customer, fervently. “I begin to see my way clear already. God bless you!” and he tripped down stairs with a heart full of hope and encouragement, while the editor at once set to work on a leader entitled, “A fiend in Human Shape.”—[Derrick Dodd.

Take the most recent fashion of shoes. The heel of the human being projects outward, or rather backward and gives steadiness to “the sure and certain step of man.” But fashion has decided that the heel of the boot or shoe shall get as near the centre of the instep as possible. Instead of the weight of the body resting upon an arch, in the modern fine lady it rests upon pegs with the toes in front, which have to prevent the body from topping forward. Then the heel is so high that the foot rests upon the peg and the toes; the gait is about as graceful as if the lady were practicing walking upon stilts. In order to poise the body on these two points a bend forward is necessitated, which is regarded as the correct as the correcs attitude of the “form divine.” It is needless to say that there are few ankles which can stand this strain without yielding; and it is quite common to see young ladies walking along with their ankles twisting all ways, or perhaps with the sole of the shoe or foot escaping from under the foot and the side of the i eel in contact with the ground. With such modern improvements on sandals (which allow the feet perfect freedom and play) the present Mademoiselle, when she attempts to run, is a spectacle at which the gods—well, not quite that, but at which her mother might well weep.

It is said that the first requisite for an able-bodied aesthete is intense laziness. Wagner has twenty-three dressing gowns which he is very proud of displaying. A Maine man took three hundred bottles of patent medicine to purify his blood. \ y Friends of the late GbvernorWiftz, of Louisiana, have raised »for his family. The United States has seventy three papers devoted to science and mechanics.