Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 March 1882 — Michael is Mad. [ARTICLE]

Michael is Mad.

Michael Lycet waited until he was thirty-seven before seeking a wife, ami then found the job less easy and more costly than he had expected though lie had the advantage of a considerable bank account. He lives at Nice town, a suburb of Philadelphia He gave a fiddler, whose occupation put him in the way of knowing a great many girls, $lO as a fee lor introducing him to an eligible party; but the girl with whom the agent put him into relations favorable to courtship was cross-eyed, and therefore unsatisiactory. A second payment of $lO to the fiddler resulted In an acquaintance with Miss Nolan, who jilted him after receiving two dresses aud a cloak; and subsequently with Miss Casey, to whom he gave a bonnet, shoes, gloves, and hosiery before finding out - that she would not marry him. Then Michael discarded the fiddier and struck out for himsell with Miss Moran, the daughter of his landlady. He gave to a Police Justice, a few days ago, the following account of his experience with this girl: “Fust she axed forasik dhress. Do yez moind that? cSez I, ‘Will ye marry me?’ ‘lt’s hasty ye are,’ sez she. ‘Margaret,’ sez I,’ fit’s no silk dhress ye’ll have from me till ye promise.’ ‘Very well,’ sez she, wid a smile on her face, T’ll3 be Mrs. Lycet on Christmas Day.’ ‘The day befre Christmas,’ sez I, fit’s married in the moruin’ we’ 1 be.’ ‘Phat mornin’?’ sez she, openin’ her eyes and starin, in me face. ‘Christmas mornin’, sez I. ‘lt’s New Year’s I sed,’ sez she, as Dould as brass. I svur blip’ mad, out she stood like a cow in the mud, and cud nayi her be diuv nor blarneyed. So I waited, an’ to put her in 111 ehipinits 1 gev her a twenty -si veu-d ollar gold ring. On New Year’s Day she sint tne a litter sayin’she’d not marry me if I wuz made ofgoold.” It was to recover the ring that Michael resorted to the Police Court, aud, meeting with success, he has sued all three deceivers to make them give up all his presents.