Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 February 1882 — The Emperor of Comeliness. [ARTICLE]

The Emperor of Comeliness.

Burlington Hawkeye! Baruum is searching the’ wide world over for a slo,ow handsomest man to travel next circus season with the $20,000 hauusomest, women of iast season. The “Lallah Roohk,” it will be rem. embered, is an indinapolis girl, and Barnutn’s agent thinks he has found the “emperor of comeliness” in the •same city of 'beautiful people. The “Emperor” is a sou o' a German butcher; he is twenty-five years old, and wears his complexion dark. It is now thought that will be accepted for

the position, unless Colonel Niobo as should enter the lists. Among other contestants for this positiou-o the handsomest man, General Joe Geiger, of Ohio, was Very prominent, aud ha i very strong baoking. The only obj-euon urged against his style of beamy was a pensive, melancholy cast or countauce, which it was feartd woyld iiave a depressing effect upon the admiring multitude. Secretary Kirkwood has filed a., application* aod forwarded the Cabiuet fashion plate in sup 1 ort of his claims. He was at once accepted, but when the agent came to .measure iitm for the imperial uniform he found the old war hor*e notdre.-sed quite up to the specifications in lithograph, and on bis report, the appointment failed to receiye a confirmation. Henry Clay Dean signified his willingness to serve, but when he stood up in the row of applicants; his trousers were too short and his overcoat too long, and he didn’t make any kind of a show at all, alongside a lahdy dab young fellow from Amsterdam, who is dependupon an only mother and sister for support, and who makes his own living by sucking the head of his cane. Davie Davis said he would take ihe character himself and sent his photograph on iu sections. Mr. Barnum said his style of beauty was a little too ethereal for the character, but ne engaged bin to preform the Itttle ballad “We aie Seven” takiug all the characters himself in the* n * stanza, andal o to stand on the Union chariot, behind the goddess of liberty, to repraseut the national msto, “E Pluribus iTnum.” Carl Schurt acceepted the position with characteristic promptness* but he was ruled out, nis style of beaqty being too iesthetic. He was accepted, however, to play the character of a fireescape for a five-story hotel. Farmer Hayes wrote from Fremont. Ohio, that he would come, if Rogers would be allowed to accompauy him as a lady’s maid. But they couldn't take him for the handsomest man, so long as Geiger was alive. However, they told him he might come along and blow for the side-show, aud he could tie Rogers to the organ with a loug string. The polls are not yet closed, and if there is any man in Burlington who prides himself on being “pretty” and will come down to the Hawkeye office, he will be photographed in this col umn. and his name sent to r the committee on mauly sweetness.