Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 21, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 February 1882 — A Presumptuous Wretch. [ARTICLE]

A Presumptuous Wretch.

Th» Judge. Charles Augustus fell in love with tho daughter Of a wealthy dry goods merchant, and when be propounded the vital question he was referred to papa. Papa was a stern, gold-spectacled man, and Charles Augustus would rather have faced a stuffed lion in his lalr;but remembering the old adage. "Faint heart never won fair. lady’’--uor a homely one, either—he called at the store to see her father. And when he saw that gentleman his heart failed him, and he was about to ask for a spool of old gold colored cotton and exit, when the girl’s father gave a significant cough and made the lovers pericardium flop by asking. "Well, Charles, what’ll you have?" Here was a splendid opportunity to boldly say, "Your daughter," and have done with it, but the youth merely stammered, while he glanced furtively around :"I I don’t see wh—what I want. "You don’t?" said the old gentleman. "Well,"he added, "don’t you see that?” pointing to a placard on which was printed the legend, "If you don’t see what you want, ask for it." “But," hesitated Charles Augustus, "I—don’t think she is here—your daughter Mamie. I mean." A thunder cloud, followed by a.whirlwind, gathered on the old man’s brow, as he seized a yardstick and and angrily exclaimed Why you presumptuous wretch! how dare you " Blit Charles Augustus didn’t linger to bear the remainder of the thrilling narrative. He lit out—went away from there—departed suddenly hence. And be feelingly says that it is a, mean swindle to have the sign, “It you don’t see What you want, asa for it,” posted in a store,and then when a young man asks for it to be unceremoniously bounced. And we think so, too. ——> I Bound to Have Satisfaction. As a Northern man who was lookiug up land in Alabama was riding along the highway he met a father and sou riding at a furious gallop and both armed with shot guns. They drew up as they,reached him, and the old man called but: "Bay, stranger, hev ye met a young man and a gal riding the same mule and humping along as if Satan was after them?" "No." “Well, my darter has eloped with Bijl Gordon, and Sam and me are trying to get within shooting distance before the knot is tied." "Ah! Why, that couple were being married in Blankville as I came through there an hour ago.’’, "Did the gal hev on a blue waist?" "Yes." "And was it a tali iellpw with & skeered look?" "It was." ■' « "That was them, stranger, and I’m much obleeged. Sam, we’re too late to stop ’em, but we kin let our bosses jog along into town and shoot the preacher after we git. ihar! That’ll be some satisfaction."