Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 January 1882 — Children’s Drolleries. [ARTICLE]

Children’s Drolleries.

Chambers’ Journal. Not long since a correspondent sent to a provincial paper an anecdote of which his six-year-old boy was the hero. He says: “I keep a shop and sell fancy goods. A gentleman came in to buy something. It was early, and my little boy and 1 were alone in the house at the time. The gentleman gave me a sovereign, and I had to go upstairs to my cash box. Before doing so I went to the little room next to the shop a ; nd said to the boy : ‘Watch the gentleman, that he don’t steal anything;’ and I put him on the counter. As soon as I returned, he sung out; “Pa he didn’t steal anything-r-I watched him.’ You may imagine what a positune I was in.” Children's questions are often no Ifess embarrassing than they are abusing, as may be instanced in the story of the mercenary little boy who overheard a conversation respecting a wedding that was soon to take place. At breakfast the next morning he recalled the sub* ject by asking the following question; “Papa, what do they want give the bride away for? Can’t they sell her?” At a whale exibiton a youngester is eaid to have asked his mamma if the whale that swallowu} Jpuah had as large a mouth as the one before them, why didn’t Jonah. walk out at one corner.

“You must think Jonah was a fool; :ie didn’t want to walk out and get drowned,” was the quick reply of a younger brother, before the mother could answer. It is related of another infant inquirer who was looking with great interest at a foaming pan of milk, that he suddenly exclaimed: “Mamma,, where do cows get the milk from?” "Where do you get your tears?” was the answer. After a thoughtful silence, In which the mention of tears had evidently recalled certain associations, he again broke out: “Mamma, do the cows have to be spanked?” On seeing a house being whitewashed, a small boy of three wanted to know if the house was going to be shaved. A lady, when admiring the stars on a bright night in a tropical climate, was suddenly asked, in the most Innocent way, by her little son of five years old if those were the nails that held up heaven. A boy who had always refused to eat oat meal, in spite of nis mother’s urgings that it waa a strengthening diet, suddenly surprised her one morning by eating a liberal plateful and calling for more. Upon his mother asking for an explanation, he replied: "I am bound to eat oat meal till I am strong enough to whip Johnny Scott.” Little Freddie,when visiting a neighbor’s house, was offered apiece of bread and butter, which he accepted, but without any show of gratitude. ‘ What do you say, Freddie?” hinted the lady, expecting him to say, “Thank you.” "I say it ain’t cake,” was the impolite.,

response. The father of a family, after reading from a morning paper that the cold the night, before waa intense, the thermometer registering many degrees below freezing point, said: “Now, children, I suppose you are taught all about that at school. Which of you can tell me what the freezing point is?” “The point of my nose, papa,” was the prompt reply from one of the youngsters. A gentleman somewhat advanced in life, and who was never remarkable for his good looks, asked his grandchild what he thought of hith. The boy’s parents were present. The youngster made no reply. “Well, why don’t you tell mp what you think of toe?” ’Cause I drin’t want to gej; licked,” was the answer. A mother once showed heir child a beautiful doll, a St. John, of fine make and color. "See,” she said, “he has been very good; and Heaven always rewards the good by making them beautiful ” ’«§h,” said the child, lifting its shoulders, "Don’t bell?Ye that, mamma. This Httlc St. Joint looks very meek because he’s all glued up; but if he could only-move, you’d see!” The following remaik of a little girl showsan opinion of her elders the reverse of flattering. , Gb. dear!” she exclaimed .r, ;-r u JI. **l do wish you would sit still. 1 never saw sujfy an unhappy thing in my life. Why don’t you act like grown folks and be still. and stupid for a while?”