Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 January 1882 — Their Christmas Stocking. [ARTICLE]

Their Christmas Stocking.

Burlington Hawkey. Whoever put this baby in my stocking is a liar. —Benjamin Hiil. Blast me tarry toplights; but here’s a steamboat!—Secretary Hunt. Since I came back to the farm I do not wear any.—R. B. Hayes. The man who sent me that bull fiddle is another.—Theodore Thomas. It looks as though I would be hung up instead of my stocking.—Guiteau. Somebody has cut off the foot of my stocking and thrown away the leg.— S. J. Tilden. I can lick the slabsided lunatic who spilled that bottle of “Anti-fat” on my candy.—David Davis. It looks like an iron pumpkin, but I’m almost afraid to have it cooked. — The Happy Czar of Russia. Merry Christmas', eh? Ah yes, I see, three bricks and a pair of spectacles cut bias. —Good Benjamin Butler. Whoever put that bottle of hair dye and scalp rehewer in my stocking is no — Young Hannibal H&mlin. Who goes there? By Mars his gauntlet! Here’s the whole United States army and three Indians in my stocking.—Secretary Lincoln. - Infinite gaul! Measulese click! Here’s my scarlet stocking plumb full of brimstone. Well this is—ha, dreadful. —Rev. Robert G. Ingersoll. That is not my stocking with the rubber rattle in it. That belongs to Clara Louise. Mine is hanging on the other side of the chimney.—Auuie Louise Cary. I dohiot know what this bottle with a rubber top is for, but this is Annie Cary’s stocking. The stripes on mine run up and down. —Clara Louise Kellogg. Now, bear in mind, it was not kind, because I did not ask it; some sapey pup has choked up my sock with a rosewood casket.—G. W. Childs, A. M.