Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 December 1881 — Pigeon English. [ARTICLE]

Pigeon English.

We challenge the whole civilized world, and a large portion of Posey county, to produce a paper that contains more blunders to the square inch, orthographical grammatical, and rhetorical, than does the Fowler Era. Take any original article in that paper as an illustration of that fact. Here is one, for instance, in the last issue in which the editor seems laboring to express the opinion that another financial crisis is imminent in this country. It contains just ten sentences, and of which we will take the liberty of quoting five or six, verbatim et literatim, including the punctuation: “ For a few years past, and now too, money is plenty.” A stupid grammatical error, the verb being used in the wrong tense. “ With security it can be obtained cheaper than for twenty-four years.” Awkward, of course, in construction, and entirely at fault in its logic. A low rate of interest is not indicative of a speculative era, but exactly the contrary. “The result of speculation is ram pant, and prices exorbitantly high.” Worsen and worse, and, without a stretch of charity, incomprehensible; but we will assume that the two words ram and pant were intended for the one word, rampant. In that case the sentence woi ld read, “the result of speculation is rampant.” Now a tolerably correct writer even, might use the expression, “speculation is rampant; ” but “ the result of speculation is rampant,” is an expression that need never be looked for outside the columns of the EmL After the remark that there is too much money invested in railroads comes this enigmatical “When too late these investments will be involved in a crash, the many going down, the few benefiting.” This sentence is a deliberate puzzle beyond a doubt; and the person first handing us a satisfactory explanation of its meaning will receive, as a prize, a specimen copy of the Era, (provided the publishers don’t cut us off from their exchange list), and which will contain enough more riddles of the same character to furnish amusement for the entire winter. What is it that will be too late? and what will it be too late for? What are the many that are tb go down? and what are the few that will bo benefitted? These are hard questions, but they must be answered before the prize can te awarded. Here is still another enigma: “Farmers holds their corn for 70c, instead of selling for 50c and paying their debts, will probably take 30 or 40 and be sued.” Anyone giving a reasonable explanation of the meaning of the above sentence will be given his choice between a leather medal, and a likeness of its author, if he will furnish us one lot the purpose.

Frankfort Banner: The Air Line has 80 per cent, of the grading done between this city and Westfield, 31 miles towards Indianapolis. The bridges, culverts, and cattle guards are to beNput in between this city and Delphi* except the heavy work on Leer Creek Bluffs—9o per cent, of the work is done—all the trestles, culverts, and bridges are to be put in. The road from Bossville to Sheridan will be completed at once and then from there into Indianapolis. The heavy work at Delphi will be the last to be finished. The contractors are using all the saw-mills along the line to get out timber and lumber for their work and will use every effort to complete the road by the first of March next. < Books! Holiday Books! Call at Tharp’s, and see them.