Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 November 1881 — Bill Nye’s Advice to the President [ARTICLE]

Bill Nye’s Advice to the President

Laraminc Boomerang. Probably the first break you make, Chester, will be to get married. Vsu will feel, no doubt, as though/you wanted some one to go to in your moments of weariness and heart-sickness, and so you will get a wife who will assist you in governing the country. There is no rest like the blessed rest that comes to the weary President who, after a prolonged cabinet session, in which the Secretary of the Interior tells the latest moral anecdote, and tbe Secretiry of (he Navy advances his theory of crossing the saw buck with the iron-clad ram, in order to get a style of war vessel that will stand the short climate, goes to his room in the solemn bush of midnight and falls over a glove-fitting corset and steps on a deformed hair-pin. f , You need the gentle voice of a wife to lead you on toward undying fame. She will tell you how to govern the country, and won’t charge you a cent for it. * Bhb will readily see where you have erred in your official capacity, and will show you how you can improve upon it next time. She will gladly tell you what changes to make in your cabinet, and select some one as Secretary of State whose complexion will match the furniture of his office.

The chances are, Chester, that you will revel In more kind and thoughtful advice, and choice, ripe suggestions from everybody than you will need. This little note is uot intended so much for you to cut out and stick up over your wash-stafad for reference as to kind of put you on your guard and make you self-reliant.