Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 November 1881 — JOCOSITIES. [ARTICLE]

JOCOSITIES.

Oh, maiden fair, with golden hair, Rooming the meadows over. What, art thou plucking with (Ingres rare Fronts midst the fragrant dovert” > “Dad’s tot a spell ot eoUc,”sald she. I’m pulling wild sage make him tea. A maiden went into the water To bathe; but her mamma she sater, And after some effort she eater. And back to tbe sea beach she bra ter, Like a lamb led away to the slater Bhe told her she always had thaler An obedient, dntlftal dater. And if sbe bad done as she’d tater, She’d have stayed on tbe shore ;and she’d a ter Resist her desire for tbe water. A Vassar College girl, upon being asked if she liked cod-fish balls, saiu she never attended one.

When the types are made to say that an honest man is the nobbiest work of | God, it is time to throw glass bombs into the composing room. “Yea,” he sighed heavily, “we had a crystal wedding pretty soon in our I family. Bhe thre w a wine glass at my head the second day out.” John Henry's wife picked up a goodsized pink elastic in the hall, and just because John Henry said it ldoked ‘ike the chamber-maid’s there is trouble in ! the house. The fool goeth out in a small boat when he dosen’tknow a boom from a breaker, but the wise man picks up pebbles on the shore and flirts with the girl with a pink dress. , It sounds funny to read that eeveral city aldermen weie drunk at the dedication of the city water works. Some fiend in human shape must have poured a barrel of whisky into the reservoir.

A startling situation: Young lady [ (suddenly startled) —“My goodness!” I Young man (late* stayer)—What’s the matter?” Young lady (glancing at the clock) —“Nothing; I thought I heard the milkman.” , * A Boston man has a project on foot [ for a club for young ladies.—New York | Tribune. A Chicago man has a project on foot for a club for young men. He will keep it in the front hall. This man has a pretty daughter. An lowa editor thus acknowledges a present of grapes: “We have received a basket of fine grapes from* our friend W., for which he will please accept our compliments, some of which are nearly two inches in diameter.’! “Have you Watts on the Mind,” solemnly asks a clerical looking old gent of iherougish damsel behind the counter. “No, sir*” she answered, “but I have nine on one hand aud two on the other. Are you a wart doctor?”: Over a bridge at Athens, Ga., was the following: “Any person driving over this bridge in a faster pace thau a walk, shall, if a white person, be fined $5, and if a negro, receive tweu-to-five lashes, half the penalty to be bestowed on the inforiper.”