Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 November 1881 — No Chance for Him. [ARTICLE]

No Chance for Him.

He wee coming down street with a “crick” in his back, a wobble in his knees and a thumb tied up in a rag Perspiration had wilted his collar and made his flannels crawl up, and each kuee carried the marks of dust. He halted a pedestrian, got his aching back against the lamp-post, and asked : “Sir, do you suppose that George Washington ever fell down stairs With a bureau after him an(L on top of him?” - “I don't think so.” “Did Daniel Webster ever turn an old ingrain carpet t’other side up, and haul it around, and pull his blamed arms off, and pound his thumbs to a mash in tacking it down?” “I never heard that he did.” “And, sir, do you believe that Henry Clay ever lugged a durned'old bedstead all over the bouse, papered bedrooms, daubed around with paint, and* lifted stoves until his eyes stuck out like lemon! on a Greelev hat?” “i never heard that Henry was any such man." - ? “Nh, of course jou didn’t, and yet you and the rest of the world wonder why I don’t get up an perorate and philosophize and theorize and thunder around like an earthquake. Look at me. Feel of me! Go ache as I ache, wilt as I wilt, and' then tell me what earthly chance a man of mpderate noeatrs has in this world for secur-' log the laurels Cf fame. Ye 3, sir. and be hanged to you, sir, and even now I’m on my way down town to buy a whitewash brush, two pounds of putty, a p|ck of lime anfi four more papers of