Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 November 1881 — JOCOSITIES. [ARTICLE]

JOCOSITIES.

A quiet yotlngraari froiri Shanghai r'.. s In'uulged In a pleica of mince pal, , Ills life work la o’er, U is form here no more, Will visible be to the al, TUdre was a voting Ixansvlllo rortgtt, . Who wanted a tteVspapet pongh; -Hd Hut It wasn’t the kttla That he liked, so he whined,« , “don’t give me nd more o’ that stondk.” It was at the mU9ic hall not long since that a lady remarked to a visiting friend, after a solo on the big organ: “That’s all very well, but you just \Valt till they put on the vox populi.” A brother arose in a weekly prdyer meeting in New Jersey and said: “Brethren, when I consider the shortness of life, I feel I might be taken away suddenly, like a thief in the night. A minister had preached an hour, then lie remarked: Another wide field opens from the in another direct ion ” JustF theu an old oalored saint ej undated, _ “Please, Lord, shut up tbe bais. , might mistake: Somebody went to a music teacher’s room while he was out and put e cat lu with her tail in a ft?el trap. 4. ad of course tho cat complained and everybody said: “Goodness,. he mast nave a girl in there praltcing a grand opera.” People who ifve remote from the seashore can make a good artifleal clam by rolling a pkee of so-tp It afind and ashes and eating it when it is about half cool. This is rather better than the rfial clam, bat It give tile Inlanders an approximate idea of the lukjiry. ;X. Said Mrs. Smith, who bad come to spend tbe day, to/little Edith: “Are you glad to see me again, Edith? Edith —“Yes, tn’in, and mama’s glad, tool” Mrs. Smith—“ls Edith—“Yee, m’ra; she said sbe,jlo|fcd you’d come to day. and have it over with.” * A negro being ask what he was in jail for said It was fqr borrowing money. “But,” saldXho questioned “they don’t put people In jail for borrowing money.” jF^es," l said' the darkey, “but I had to knock the man ddWn free or fo’ times before he would left I It to me.”

Naullcal—“You are on tho wrong, tuck,” said wife, when the hardy son of the load funding sea sat downoA itdhd afoisfwikh tbe bsUal exoiuno ftioti. "fw 1 -he replied .after a critSai examination."l m off the rightriaek, but shoot me dead If rain’t on tlierifrong end of it.” An agrnt who sold a Dutchman some goods wa_, to deliver tbam in the, afternoon at the residehcet of the purobaßer."W!ie'Dutchman g>iVe him the following direction;; “You shoost goes behind the Church ;den you turDS up to de right for a while, till you secs a house mit a big hog In tbe yard. Dot’s mei” m ' - OnCkCbll UdbhAga Ms^nslble The palfiJatoryTs soou Ufid. Tbe misguided lightniog came out of that hive quicker than it went in, and weiit off into space with ite tall .bctweefi quarrel when you-are not acquainted withihasfbiks.H : •

The New York Herald contains some queer advertisements. One landlady, innocent ot grammatical knowledge, advertises that she has a “fine, airy, well-furnished bedroom for a gentleman twelve feet square;” another, “has a cheap and desirable suite of rooms sos a family repair t : nme and winked, and then said: “Not much, Mary Ann. I saw a widow home once, and it cost me $16,000. She sued me for breach, of promige.aml proved it on me. No, fluff ftnl flg widows home in a hacra 'Y f Last week a strap f*fn g negm wnman was up before an Austin justice, charged with qnrnsroffutly treamyglftr HflJ? ler ,Wy Tile oat Kr cub of mine?” “Never!” ejaculatedthe judge with great vehemeod£lM(|kiglid face. “Den doriT taUjUri

'The man who was too poor to indulge in many luxuries other-than children was presented UK* loving Wife With triplets, three De gougfrt for. some fapfly lb ad opt toemffFA gentler 1 man wasxbclinnd to tike not of them, but buEdad wjßrathffotfAed. ThSy were tewing fttover bnfore their eight-year-off daueljter. who jjdd: •‘why don't flWhi, ma? or don't they want to break tkaaeflf” v The politest man in Boston has heed, discovered. He was hurrying along Latreettoeoto^igV^anJter great a hurry to investigate. If lam tt blame, I beg your pardon: if you