Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 November 1881 — JOCOSITIES. [ARTICLE]

JOCOSITIES.

••TOtAJs Hie imMfe —Sa Mart al . Bat Uvs live a beggar and die in a ditch* ’ Sbelteerrted a ratlreod ma», i- A ▲ locomotive spark; Herold her hie little plan i J At IbSgates Oftt ia the dark. :a . . WhenhnSaßMmmi'Meaeher came. Betwixt each bar and nreawzre. He W’ahed that she was hie, and toe A tor«“h This very wise niuslean, ( WouMenteiy maketk»tt»msrft<*4 For rising, huUwo-wiahtx* c “felly a bny with his notes and ) And his big tin born and h*yawping sun, And his heavy bootsand htemrtlehamnw, And his throat of ten wild-ftdl* clamor. Only a boy, but when io tuna . - ‘rl . J lie’s match for a wake and a big tyfdlobn. Our dub says that a vaimnaidep is like aoonfirmpd toper when she ‘ looks into the glass and smiles.” A homely girl, with a small and pretty-foot takes 10 percent, more ohmfort 16 this wofld than a pretty foaed girl who knows It is aU day with beeff she falls over a log/- *- - Motben-““Wow, Gerty, be a tfood giri and gite Aunt Julia a, ki«s. and a say good-night.’’ Gerty—“No, no, Jr I kiss her she’ll box my ears HfcfrsHe did papa’s last. nlghT."

“Whv did you hide, JoHhny ?” Saifi one boy to another. • *‘l hide to ftavc my hide,” aaid the other, fts> bv away to a secure spot. “It’s a good hide, dear,” yelled the other He was sitting to the Ptoter her when a roostercrowed in tneyarfi and leaning over lie said: Ch anticleet?” “I wish you wouM. Pam 1 a« sleepy to I ®® n He cleared. . First North Briton (on the Oban boat tn a Ifalling sea and dirty f Wefttln er) s “Throw it up. man, and ye’U feel a’ the better.” Second ditto Itoeptog downy, “Hecb, man, It’s whnskey?* The church sexton says the most unaccountable thing fljaFibas ever come within his purview is the tremenduoua mafortty the tbree-cant piecro b*<» over th 9 #®ftes in the contribution boxes, - . ’..T'-oi i-’d “See here.” said Canliffower to hto milkman, “Ifound sjx mrnwows rnfno milk last night.” f'Weß, F« much surprised. ’Twas hot yesterday land the cows drank almost dry.” ! / “What Saddens My Darling This Evening?” is the name of the latest, song. Perhaps yoqr darling’s garter Irf comtoff dowD, bd<l bd© doseii t lik© to speak about it. There are many tod. wefrd tragedies of which the wwW

never hears. Blight mistake at a -—ah—the thirtieth; 1 believe 1” Fond motiiaf (hot catching the Wto , tions of avartto he ever heard oL.waa ’that contained ftf caricature. Which represents Old Niclr carry tog an old miser down to bis t’egtons I ftng;; while on the way, the mi»W te m»kW to his majesty to tapper nifn With coal. Dear Brown—ls y<m marry a big lily educated girl take my advice and live at a hotel. We tried housekeeping, rd the start, tpyself and Evelina but there was too much Concord phil* ‘'wopfiy about the breakfasts, and there *tesYe grounds for thinking that tbe ooflee’had been through the wrong John Stewart Mill. . v Pop’t contradict me,” said the stern* parent. “You have been holding secret interviews with Charles Monsterrat de Montmorenci.” He ’5 a9 * I P’™« but fashionable tailor, and could not be trifled With. “How dM you find it out?” sobbed the daughter, nevtr saw u’.”“No, I never saw you, be re urned indignantly; “But my faithful Bruno came running to mn this very evening with a mouthful o cloth. I cut the piece to make n paw of pants for young Montmerencl two months ago, and he hasn’t paid. Jor them vet.” AM she answered wasr ‘Father, dear.it’s too awfully too trio/'-, and she fell like a little fadel flow’er at his feet* > Toprioody made ufl his mind that he was not going to be bossed any longer by his wiftoso when he went home at noon he called imperiously: •Mrs.Topuopdy, MYs. Topnoody P’ Mrs. r. cacw out of.the kitchen withM drop of on the end of her nose, a dishrag tlted around her head,and a rolling pin In her hand. “Well sir,” kbe sa!d,“what will you hayeT’ ’Topnoody staggered but braced tip. “Mb. Topnoody, T want you to Understand,' madam”--and he tapped hte breast —“lam the engineer of this estaMlshmeqG” “Oh, you ate, ftre yodt 1 WeMj/ Topnoody, I want ’ifideretafm. that and she looked dangerous“am the boiler that will Hew tip-And was any assistance he co'lid render in the bouse-work.