Rensselaer Republican, Volume 14, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 September 1881 — TABLE TALK. [ARTICLE]

TABLE TALK.

Mr. and Mrs.- Brooks disagreed aa to which of their two sons should milk the cow, at Davis, lowa, and the man in his anger killed the woman. George Doane, a leading lawyer at Erie, Pa., became insane at a camp meeting, and believes he is the youngest of twenty-three sons of Jehovah. The Chicago Times calls the Tribune the Joemedillean, and tbe Tribune calls the Times the Billstorean. The prize for wit has not yet been awarded to either. Mrs. Jessie Fremont Ferris, a niece of Gen. John C. Fremont, made her debut as an actress at Rochester this week, with tbe intention of remaining on the stage. The Boston Investigator’s way of saying "He died” is as follows: “He passed tbe boundary which limits our knowledge of the duration of individual consciousness.” “The truth is,” as seen by the Retailer, a journal devoted to alcohol, “that the world never drank so moderately or ridicously ot all beverages as at present” Gertie Hamilton took a small doee of morphine at Bfoux City, not because she wisbeo to die, but in order to touch the heart of the man she loved. The plan succeeded. On recovering, she learned that be had swallowed poison in earnest, aud was dead. The name is lackingin this Western item of news: “An eminent Judge of Indiana, now indulging in his annual debauch, has broken a faro bank at the Hoosier capital.” The diversion of a company at Seymour, Ind., is to run their engine to the residence ot persons who have become objectionable, and drive them out by floating the houses. O n the body of an outcast woman bo drowned herself at Detroit was ound a gold medal, which she had received for remarkable scholarship on graduation ac an academy. The song writers’ painful working of the mother theme would seem to have culminated in the latest production, judging by the title, “An Old-Fash-ioned Photograph of Mother.” The project of a second Suez Canal under English auspices is tbe subject of discussion in the Alexandria press. The advantages proposed include a quicker transit ana a reduced tariff. A Philadelphia mail carrier delivered his own love letters, but that method of courtship failed of pleasant results, for the girl broke her word after promising to marry him, and he is suing her for damages. Official returns now published give the number of of diptheria in Russia in 1879 as over 83,000. In the Kharkoff Government 33 per cent, of the sick die; in the Poltava Government, 40 per cent. A sexton and his enemy fought in a churchyard at Millsboro* Del., and the sexton was thrown into a freshly dug grave. Then the other undertook to bury him alive, and had almost completed the job when help came. Chang, the Chinese giant, as pictured in Western circus advertisements alongside persons of presumably ordinary stature, is not less than twentyfive feet high, though his real height is eight feet; and Tom Thumb, who is now about three and a half, is made to appear less than two,