Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 September 1881 — JOCOSITIES. [ARTICLE]

JOCOSITIES.

When a married woman boys a. dog for a low prioe, she gets a bargain and hear husband gets something to book A « * ** feitf ef’ths Blow chief -as he leewea the wfewam of hjs^Laughing, “am Bionxanna, jjhu’t. you cry for TWt.-v u f i t The young woman who need to sing so dlviuly, “Oh had I the wings of a dove,” is satisfied with a chicken leg . “Then sitPon a stove and stfr'oonstaatly." Just as If any .thing could sit «n a stove without stirring constantly. It Is said that a girl who wean number two shoe* And beautiful hose can be scared into believing almost every 1 little bit of wood or stone she sees is a

nradTuoe: Ariaona tainistens nrud-i ently leave their revolverson the bank when going into the water to baptize converts, but never go'hr so tar but, they can reach the weapons in* fa# urn of ;the first families in Austin, said «h*i would take two. po she would not need any kerosene at alfc 1 1 ° '*• Takes the cake: “Come here. Hammle, and Shake hands with &e gentleman,’.’ as urging her youngster to then front, “There, isn’t he,.cute?" Gentleman. putting bn his eyeglasses and critically examining the ofalld. “Yes. V he takes the-cake, or at leasthe should take th* first: oaks of soap ha can get hold of." And thus whs the evening’s entertainment nipped in the bud. 1 On a recent Sunday. when' the pastor of one of the leading Presbyterianii churches of Sh Louis was absent from

his pulpit, several, persons expressed dissatisfaction at seeing a stranger in the polpitAud one lady said she would not have come if she h*s known to*t Dr. was not going to preach. An elder standing very near promptly replied: “Madam, the worship of Dr. will be resumed next Sunday." Carrie was six years old and quite a model of propriety; but one day she shocked her mother by doing something very much like ordinary nanghty children, “Why, Carrie!" exclaimed Mrs. 8., “how could yen do such * thing?" “Other little giri& do so," replied Carrie. “But that doesn’t make it right, does it?" asked Mrs. B. “No," answered Carrie, with deliberation, “but it makes it a good deal morecorn Fable,” .»

Some of the country papers are publishing as a curious item, a statement to the effect that a horse in lowa pulled the {dug out of a bunghole of a barrel, for the purpose of slaking his thirst. We do not see anything extraordinary in the occurrence. Now, If the horse had pulled the barrel out of the bunghole and- slaked bis thirst with the >lug; orpft the barrel had pulled the >unghole out of the plug and slaked his thirst with the horse; or, if the >lug had pulled the horse out of the larrel and slaked his thirst with the bunghole;, or, if the bunghole had pulled the thirst out of the none and slaked the plug with, the barrel; or, if the thirst had pulled the horse out of plughole ancT bunged its barrel with a. slake, it might be worth while to make some fuss over it.