Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 August 1881 — THE SOCIETY REPORTER. [ARTICLE]

THE SOCIETY REPORTER.

His Sad Experience an Brooklyn. “Well, how.did you get along at. the party last night?” asked the city editor of the Brooklyn Eagle of a new reporter whom he had engaged the day before, and whom he had sent to write up a social occasion. “Not vssry well.” responded the new reporter, gloomily. *‘l don’t think Brooklyn society is the top-notch racket anyhow.” , “What’s the matter?” deinnnded the city editor; “didn’t they use you well?”

“I can’t say they did,” rejoined the new reporter. “Now, I went up there last night aud waded right into the fun. I asked for the Chairman of the pwrty,-and told him wte #ere laying out to swell their beadu in to-day’s issue,and he’d better skip iu and introduce me to gome of die high-bugs if he calculated to have nraname mentioned n the report.”, i -i “What did he ,ay to that?” asked he city editor, with a calm gleam m his eve. “He wanted to know who sent mk I told him the main guy of literary bank had me in there, and that when. I’d got through shaking a leg I’d like some facts about the lay-out. If he couldn't give ’em. I toW him, he’d bettor get tbe secretary io heel up pretty lively, or I’d give tbe whole outfit a deal In the paper that would.' make him think every hair on his head a band of music, and all playing .different tunes.” .

“And wbat did be say to that?” in* quired the city editor, the gleam deepening ominously “Oh! he was a friend to the Eagle, aud would do what he could for me. I told him he’d better hop right at it. and first 1 wanted to meet the gals. If he calculated to hold the friendship of the Eagle, I said, he didn’t want to waste much funny business before hfe had me bumping around in the mazy. He said if Pa go up stairs aud take ofi my hat and overcoat, he’d see me later.”

“Did you do it?” asked the city editor, In a constrained tone. “No. I said I wanted some grub first. So he took me down in the front kitchen, and asked me if I liked boned turkey. I told him I’d take a leg and some of the breast. What do yoq think he gave me? Head-cheese! If he didn’t you can lick me. I couldn’t eat that, and so Tasked him for a glass of beer and a cheese sandw>oh. He said be had some wine, 1 drank A bottle and put two Ol turee bottle* in my pockets. “Whatdid yon do then?” interrogated the city editor, fingeringa length of gas-pipe. ‘T went up to the parlor, and he said IM better take a description of the scene before I danced, and he gave me the names. Here they are: Mary Monree, red frock, white sack, arid hair bunched; Emma Latrobe, yellbw dress arid high-heeled slippers; Marion V/flJfmghby, some kind of thin staff, white,.and tied up with blue tape, and hair frizzled; Jennie Murchison, black clothes and a feather in her hajj; Ella Wexford, red suit flat in front and stuck out behind; Pauline Tresley—o[ tell you bon she was a daisy. Bigger’n a tub and dressed to tbe branch. She

had on a velvet outfit a mile long, and sixteen rows of teeth on her gloves. Her hair was a dead yellow tied np like a bun, and bad a lot of vegtablea in it Florence Ross, green dress, flipped with velvet and hoisted np at the side with a white check-rein. Vinnie Ham merely, white network with red streaks, Walkedwith a limp and hair frescoed. That’s all I got There was a lot of old pelicans there, hat I knew yon didn’t care for them, and as for the men, I told ’em it oost a dollar a piece, and as they woulden t put np I shaved ’em. I can state that they were a aheap let, who don’t know any more about society than a pig does of politics, and I*ll teach ’em a lesson. And, I say, we’d better give the Chairman a rub H* dirfnlL inlnuiiuw mo t* * eoUt»*y hen. Better say that he hasn’t'paid his gas hill for seven months, and his accounts were iound short What do you think?” .» “Gdt any more about the party?” demanded the city editor, risng slowly. ‘‘Nothing, only that the grub wasn’t At to eat, though furnished by that popular caterer, Mr. Trapbagener. I tola him I’d give him a puff. You might say, too, that the whole party was a dead failure on account of the villainous treatment to which our new society reporter was subjected when he asked for a handful of cigars. Say, what have yon got for me to ao to-night?” “Not a thing!”yelled the city editor, as he brought the gas-pipe across the new reporter’s ear. ' “You Infernal reptile, don’t you know that was one of the best houses in town and the affair one of the finest of the Reason?” “I’m going back to St. Paul,” grpaned the betv reporter, as he fell down stairs. “If that’s Brooklyn society, Pm going where they.bave some style,” and he struck off toward the Northwest largely afoot.