Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 June 1881 — Jokes of the Last Century. [ARTICLE]

Jokes of the Last Century.

An old newspaper, printed w»y back in revolutionary days, contained these witticisms of our daddies, showing that there was an element of hin in life even in the times that tried men’s souls: A good book and a good woman are excellent things for those who know justly bow to appreciate their value. There are men, however, who judge of both from the beauty of covering. While an old fanner in Connecticut was flogging one of his graceless sons, a pumpkin-beaded fellow about 18, an idea aft of a sudden entered the head of young Jonathan, and he sung out: “Stop, dad—let’s argue.” A lady who was in the habit of spending much of her time in the society of her neighbors, happened one day to be taken suddenly ill, and sent her husband, in great baste, for the physician. The husband ran a few rods, but soon returned, exclaiming, “My dear, where shall I find you when I get back ?” A lady at confession, among other heinous crimes, accused herself of using rouge. “What is the use of it ?” asked the confessor. “I do it to make myself handsomer.” “And does it ftroduce that effect?” “At least I hink so, father.” The confessor on this took his penitent out es the confessional into the light, put on his spectacles, and, having looked at her attentively, said: ‘‘Well, madam, you may use rouge, tor you are ugly enough even with it.”