Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 June 1881 — Sign Lore. [ARTICLE]

Sign Lore.

There is a perversity in language sometimes that, like the Irishman’s bulls, has a value of its own, and enriches a too careful mode of expression by some comical blunder. This is particularly noticeable in isolated figures of speech signs, which are seldom either lucid or grammatical; or newspaper announcements, when grammar and punctuation are often sacrafloed to space. Some of these mistakes are very absurd; notably that in which “a piano <■ is wanted by A lady with carved legs.” In the notice of‘‘Lost—a black lady’s fan,” and “a small, gold-faced lady’s watch” were advertised. - “Sewing done here” is the announcement upon many a door, and it took a small boy to discover the syllogism in it. He said: “Ma, that woman has got her sewing done, ’cos she says so on her sign.” A genteman advertised, last week, in one of our daily papers, for an ioechest to hold so many pounds of Ice, and a new harness. The wonder was why he wanted to keep his new barness in an ice-chest until, it was noticed to be an error in punctuation. Morse’s old geography announced to a horrorified public that Albany had 400 bouses and 4,000 inhabitants, ail standing with their gable end to the street.

A barber’s sign once read: ‘■Wkat do you think, I'll for uothlng and give you a When his customers asked for the drink, and refused to pay, he took them outside and read to them: '*Wh*t! do you think I’ll for nothing and give you a

This reading gave it a different meaning.. . - Detached sentences often present a quaint expression: “Job printing!” said an old lady, reading the laminar sign; “poor man, he must be awful tired of it, for he’s been at ever since I can remember!” In a duggest’s window in Chicago, there was for many years a sign r “Artificial Eyes,” and immediately under it, “Open all night,” which of course, referred to the store, and not the eyes. A merchant once went to the signpainter and told him he wanted a neat sign with a couplet «dn rhyme painted in gold letters; when the man brought the sign the inscription read: “Sugar and tea, 8-o-l-d.” “Shirts reinforced” is the legend in a Detroit dry goods store. It means that they are provided with double yokes. “Mr. Jones’ Shirt StormU read an old lady, cautiously. “Well, why doesn’t he get it mended?” “This house for sail” was the way a landlord spelled the announcement. A smart fellow came along, and asked, “When will the house sail?” “As soon as some one Comes along whocanraise the wind,” was the cool answer.

“Pocket books reduced to fifteen cents,” was the notice in a store window, and a wag passing, said he was reduced to nothing. “Sweet-heart factory,” isa sign in this city; beneath one discovers that it refers to pop-corn. Doubtless the firm have numerous calls which result in disappointment. “Teeth extracted without payin,” read the Irishman. “Then that’s the place for me,” and he had lost nearly every tooth in his head before he discovered his mistake.