Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 April 1881 — Irrefutable Evidence. [ARTICLE]

Irrefutable Evidence.

“Prisoner,” said Judge Rix to a hard looking customer the other morning, “the docket is very crowded; and, as the evidence against you is unmistakably plain, you will save valuable time by pleading guilty.” “Couldn’t think of it, your honor.” “But you were caught in the very act of crawling into the back window of a jewelry store.” “1 was a little full, yoqr honor, and mistook it for my own house.” “But you had a kit of burglars’ tools in your pocket.” “Must have put on the wrong coat by mistake, your honor. Had just oome from the club, and there were a lot of st'Mskbrokers’ ulsters hanging on the same rack.” K B “But youroonfederate ‘Bpikey Jim has turned state’s evidence. ’ “I know the circumstances are against me, your honor, but I have some testimony to produce that will make that all right.” “Have, eh?” “Yes, may it please your honor, continued the defendant, calmly ; “I desire to prove by several witnesses that I could have been elected to the legislature from the Sixteenth district if I hadn’t declined the nomination.” “What has that to do with the case?” asked his honor, reappearing

above his desk, behind which he had * flyln * n,p “Why, everything In the world, your honor. Do you suppose that If I was a stealing man, I wouldn’t be at Sacramento this session?” “The prisoner Is discharged,” said the judge. “Neat case!’ ? — Derrick