Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 April 1881 — Distresses of the Newly Married. [ARTICLE]

Distresses of the Newly Married.

PMk’tSnn. Last week a young man from the country west of here came in on the evening train and walked up to Grand avenue, with a fresh looking womafi hanging on to one handle of a sstchel, while he held the other. They turned into the Plankinton House, and with' a wild light in his eye the man went to the book and registered his name, and that of the lady with him. While the clerk was picking out a couple of rooms that were near together the man looked around at the colored man who had the satchel, and as the clerk said, * Show the gentleman to No. 65 and the lady to 67,” he said, “Hold ou, ’squire! One room will do.” On being shown to the room the bridegroom came right, out with the bell-boy and appeared at the office. Picking oue a benevolent looking gentleman, with a good place to raise-hair on his head, who was behind the counter, the groom said} “Say, can a man enjoy religion in this house?” Mr. White said a man could if he brought it with him. They had none on handle issue to guests, but they never interfered with those who had it when they arrived. “Why,” says the manager of the house, “has any body interfered with your devotions here?”

“No, not here,” said the man, wiping his forehead with a red handkerchief. “But they have at- Dubuque. I’ll tell you how it was. I was married a couple of days ago, and night before last I put up at & Dubuque hotel. My wife bad never been married before, any at all, and she is timid, and thinks everybody is watching and making fun of ' us. She jumps at the slightest sound. Well, we went to our room in . the afternoon, and she began to cry, and said if she wasn’t married she never would be the longest day she lived. I sort of put my arm around her, and was Just telling her that everybody bad to get married, when there was a knock at the door,and she jumped more than thirty feet. You see that finger. Well, a pin on her belt stuck clear th rough, and came near making me faint away. I held my finger in my mouth, and telling her the house was* not on tire I wept to the door and there was a porter there who wanted to know if I wanted any more coal on the fire. I drove him away, and sat down on a big rocking chair with my wife in my lap, and was stroking her hair and telling her if she would forgive me for marrying I never would do so again, and trying to make her feel more at home, when there came another knock at the door, and she jumped clear across the room and knocked over a water pitcher. This seal ring on my finger caught in her frtases and I’ll be cussed if the whole top of her head didn’t come off. I was a little flurried and went to the door, and a chambermaid was there with an armful of towels, and she banded me a couple and went ofi. My wife came into camp

[again, and began to cry and accuse me lof pulling her hair; then I went up to Lher and put my arm around her waist, was just going to kiss her, just as •nsoban would Le justified in kissing ■jisawtfe under the circumstances, wbref - '; she screamed murder and I fell against the bureau. I looked around and the dbofhad opened and there was a coln coming into the room with 4Metoeene lamp, and he chuckled and aufif'he begged my pardon. Now, I am ainan that don’t let my temper get with me, but as it was three houre. before dark I didn’t see what wtimie use of a lamp, aud I told him to gm out of there. Before 6 o’clock tlrat’J| -'' evening there had been raps at the door, aigrai|[to got sick. My wife would not stay in that house fof»jdoillion dollars. So we started for Milwaukee. I tried to get a little cars, but every little conductor would wake me up grid reill in the seat to look at m|HS||tets and brakemen would run ag*is» my legs in the aisle of the sorry I ever left home, have rest and quiethave it here?” Tr told him to go to his he wanted any coal or to ring for it, ana if anybody knocked at nis door without beto begin shooting bullets tHroUgtf the door. That settled it, anfi-When the parties returned to Id«wa, they said this country was a mighty s aight different from Dubuque.